alternative to a baby shower...

I was not planning on having a baby shower - even though my mom offered to throw me one.
But a lot of friends keep asking me and DH and i thought about hosting a baby "sunday funday" at a local restaurant...it would be a 1pm sunday brunch in a private space that has flat screen tvs showing the football games. we would invite both male and female friends and not play any baby shower games or open and of the gifts.

would you find that odd if you got that on a invitation? should we just go the traditional route or skip it all together? honest opinions please

Re: alternative to a baby shower...

I think it's a little odd. Just sounds more like a football party than anything for a baby. I am not a fan of all the games and stuff so no biggie to nix those but if you're going to do something for the baby I would at least open the gifts there and focus the theme on "baby" and not football. Nothing wrong with having guys and girls be a part of it but I just don't get the whole hang out and watch football thing. Just seems like a day at the bar. KWIM?

Can I ask, why don't you want a shower? If it were me, I would just have a traditional shower........maybe even a Jack and Jill shower. I really think people would be confused by the hang out and watch football thing, it's like the baby is an afterthought.......not the focus.

Re: alternative to a baby shower...

i didnt want a shower because i hated being the center of attention at my bridal shower...and it turned into a disaster! my MIL and some of her other family members felt that me and my family ignored them...mind you it was at my aunts house so my mother and my aunts were busy cleaning, serving etc which is why they werent able to sit for an hour and socialize...and i had 60 people to speak with so i couldnt spend more then a few minutes with each person.

i dont want to deal with that again...the stress, grief and aggravation i got after the shower just was not worth it in my opinion. so doing it as a non traditional shower would make it less stressful for me.
i see my fmaily a lot around the holidays (we celebrate Christmas and hanukkah and we do a NYE dinner)...so doing this was just a way to get together with friends and my inlaws that would be a stress free environment.

if anyone has had a jack and j ill shower...what do you do there? my concern with doing that is that the guys will be bored and will end up watching football or whatever sport is on anyway

alternative to a baby shower...

I don't think its odd. There's nothing odd about having a fun day with your friends to celebrate your baby. It's a different approach to a baby shower that I'm sure everyone will enjoy.

Re: alternative to a baby shower...

I understand what you're saying. I can appreciate that.

I have never been to a Jack n Jill shower myself but my parents went to one and said it was very nice. Everyone just socialized and hung out, casual laid back food (pasta station and wraps) and then the DH helped open the gifts. She said everyone enjoyed it, none of the guys looked bored. It was a nice afternoon.

Maybe just pick a nice restaurant and invite your few friends and call it a baby brunch. More casual and laid back, you're not really the focus, and everyone can just socialize and enjoy a nice meal for a bit.

Re: alternative to a baby shower...

I also wanted to add- we went to a coed shower a couple of months ago. It was a sit down dinner shower. If you gave my DH the option of that or getting to watch football at a shower- he 100% would have chosen the football shower. I think a lot of men would love the idea of going to a shower if it meant they could watch football!

alternative to a baby shower...

This is essentially what DH and I did. We didn't want a shower and although it felt a bit odd to essentially throw ourselves a party, we ended up having a party at our house, that we called a "baby celebration" (my Mom was fine with paying to have a normal shower at a restaurant, but was not ok with having it at her house, so that's the only reason it ended up at ours). We invited everyone, girls, guys and kids and just had a fantastic day of food, friends and family. It's definitely not a LI thing to do something like this, but honestly, everyone had a great time and said it was such a fun, different and cool way to celebrate. I'm really glad we went that route instead of me just giving in to my Mom and having a normal shower where I would've just felt completely uncomfortable all day.
I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable and happy!

Re: alternative to a baby shower...

I personally think if you don't want to be the center of attention then you shouldn't have a baby shower or baby shower/football party. Because even if it's a relaxed football party, attention will be on you.

It's totally your preference, but I think a co-ed baby shower without games is still a baby shower and sounds like fun!

Message edited 11/5/2012 8:15:51 PM.

Re: alternative to a baby shower...

i think its totally fine and fun!!!

my mom wanted to throw be a baby shower, but i knew that she could hardly afford it and i asked her if she would mind getting me a lot of the big items instead because i preferred her money go there..if anything at all.

then friends kept asking me so it ended up being just very close girlfriends about 8 of us and had a really nice sunday brunch. everyone paid for themselves. i loved it. especially being pregnant and just not up to seeing a whole lot of people it was great to just be with close friends and have that time with them before i give birth. and i did get gifts from them not that it matters...just saying..they all were so generous and sweet and brought me gifts off my registry.

eta: i didnt even want the brunch in the first place but they were all pressuring me and i knew for a fact that if i kept refusing, they would end up doing a surprise shower and that would make me really upset since i really didnt want that and especially because my mom would be so hurt, and think that a traditional baby shower is what i wanted the whole time but didnt want her to spend the money. so i sucked it up and agreed to the brunch. i was really happy i did in the end. i was a little bit the center of attention of course but it wasnt a big deal. like i said, just a table of girls sitting around eating and talking like a normal lunch would be.

oh and btw, my husband is puerto rican and if was a traditional baby shower, it would have been a jack and jill because this is what they always do in his culture. i find it odd...but only because i didnt grow up like this. but point is, in some cultures, its totally the norm. he actually found it weird when i was talking about it and i didnt understand why men would be invited.

Message edited 11/5/2012 6:38:36 PM.

Re: alternative to a baby shower...