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TiggerBounce
The Prince & Princess
Member since 7/05 4939 total posts
Name:
J
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Need advise on chosing Godparents
I know there is no set "rule" in who is chosen, but I feel like I am "wrong" for feeling that we don't HAVE to chose family members.
There are only a handful of family members (local and Catholic) we have to chose from, and they are all aunts & uncles.
Am I wrong for not wanting to "HAVE" to pick a family member?
MIL is saying we should stick with family b/c DS is 5 1/2 and his godfather has only seen him a handful of times in the past 3-4 yrs and DH doesn't hear the end of it from MIL
The family options for Godfather I don't feel would be the potential I would like.
I am quite confident that MIL would expect us to chose DH's brother - but I'd rather have my brother (if we do chose family). I'm just reluctant to chose my brother b/c he has a history of falling off the face of the earth, isn't very reliable and has left a sour taste in my IL's mouth (LONG story).
I know ultimately it's our decision, but how do i fight off the pressure?
PS, DH's brother has a DD and her godparents are friends (not family). Also, DH chose his brother as his best man (DH wasn't the best man for his brother).
ETA: DH's family is very big on If you do for them, they shoudl do for you. Example DS' godfather has a DD (who is 1 1/2) - we were invited to the 1st bday, but no prior parties. MIL, SIL & BIL constantly say we shouldn't go to their parties b/c (1) they haven't come to DS' and (2) they didn't invite us to their DD's (aside from bday). 
Message edited 9/19/2012 9:04:07 AM.
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Posted 9/19/12 8:56 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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MrsSpring
I'm a lucky mama
Member since 1/10 7585 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Need advise on chosing Godparents
i would prob base it on who would be the God mother. if its someone on your side than pick his bro. if its someone on his side pick your bro.
you dont have to pick family! do what you want and not mil or anyone.
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| Posted 9/19/12 10:03 AM |
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CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Need advise on chosing Godparents
to me, the point of GOD parents are for them to raise your child(ren) in the event of something happening to you. They are to take on the role of bringing your child up in the faith that you prefer.
Therefore, I believe it's important to find someone that will fill that role as a Godly person. Family may or not qualify, but I wouldn't choose it just because they are family.
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| Posted 9/19/12 10:30 AM |
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TiggerBounce
The Prince & Princess
Member since 7/05 4939 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Need advise on chosing Godparents
Posted by CouponKT
to me, the point of GOD parents are for them to raise your child(ren) in the event of something happening to you. They are to take on the role of bringing your child up in the faith that you prefer.
Therefore, I believe it's important to find someone that will fill that role as a Godly person. Family may or not qualify, but I wouldn't choose it just because they are family.
This is part of my belief as well, and I feel that MIL (and others) lose sight of that.
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| Posted 9/19/12 11:13 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Need advise on chosing Godparents
I don't think you HAVE TO choose family -
I am the first born, my Godparents are my Mom's BF (who is Lutheran) not even Catholic - She would probably have chosen her OTHER BF, but she is Jewish 
and her brother ........
You know who has always always been there for me for EVERYTHING? My Godmother......you know who I heard from once a year? My Mom's Brother (who she hasn't spoken to in years, and I no longer speak to b/c I had ZERO relationship w/ him outside of my Mom)
My sister's Godparents are my Dad's cousin and her husband - Again, they have been like second parents to my sister (well, to me too....)
You choose who you want to be around your children, who you trust to be around your children - who you trust to stay in your lives ......
My first's Godparents are my sister and DH's brother
My second's are my sister's husband (they weren't yet married for the first baby) and my husband's sister.
Honestly, I was on the fence about his sister. He pushed it, I agreed b/c I didn't want to hurt her and there wasn't anyone I was adamant about taking her place.
Choose who you feel is best for your kids - not who your ILs think you should choose.
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| Posted 9/19/12 12:06 PM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advise on chosing Godparents
Posted by CouponKT
to me, the point of GOD parents are for them to raise your child(ren) in the event of something happening to you. They are to take on the role of bringing your child up in the faith that you prefer.
Therefore, I believe it's important to find someone that will fill that role as a Godly person. Family may or not qualify, but I wouldn't choose it just because they are family.
I just want to point out that while many people feel this way, this isn't the true role of a Godparent. It's really just about guiding the child in the faith (which is why I don't understand how you could have a Godparent of a different religion, but that's another topic) and basically being a religious role model. If you also would want them to become guardians of your children in the event that you and DH passed away that's fine but it's not really the true meaning.
Also, I think it's more than fine to have someone outside of the family be the Godparent! Ideally you want someone who is the best example of how to live and follow your faith, so if a friend fits that better than family great! Sadly, we don't have many people that we're close with who are at all religious and we feel fits the title of Godparent. Good luck in choosing!
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| Posted 9/19/12 3:13 PM |
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TreAnt427
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Member since 8/06 8652 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: Need advise on chosing Godparents
A God parent is responsible for making sure the child is raised in the faith the parents choose, but they would not take in the child and become a gaurdian if something happens to the parents. That would have to be written out in a will.
It does not have to be family at all. You can pick who ever you trust.
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| Posted 9/19/12 3:27 PM |
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babybeluga
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 1148 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advise on chosing Godparents
We just went thru almost the same thing.. DH felt we should pick family members & I didn't feel that way. DH finally agreed with me & we picked outside the family.
Bottom line: it's YOUR kid so it's YOUR decision. Anyone who doesn't like who u choose-- too bad for them!!!
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| Posted 9/19/12 9:41 PM |
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