Anyone having just one child

Just curious. I may not want to have any children after this one is born. I would not want to be financially irresponsible, the hours dh and I work are not ideal for arranging childcare. I was telling a friend who told me you have to have 2 so they have a sibling, someone to play with, what happens to them when you die and they have no siblings made me feel kind of bad but I don't want to strap myself too thin. I'm obviously not making any rash decisions now since I won't know how I will feel, but if we do have another it will probably be in 5 years or so when this one is a little older.

Just curious how many others out there are content with just one?

Anyone having just one child

We will try for 2 but it took us 2 years for #1 and I am goign to be 40 next year so not sure I want to try for that long again.

We are happy with one....he is amazing. If I am blessed with 2 then great if not I love my little guy and he will be surrounded by a ovign family and friends and thats all that matters.

Re: Anyone having just one child

Definitely just having one. My DD has a cousin who's 6 months older than her, so they'll be sort of like siblings. But, even if she didn't have him, I'd be fine with her being an only child. When she gets older, she'll have friends- so I never look at it as her being alone.

Re: Anyone having just one child

I feel the same way. Family keeps asking us when we're planning the next one bc dd just HAS to have a sibling. She isnt even 3 months old yet and we're seriously having this discussion

I've talked about it DH and already told him I'm feeling like she may be our one and only. None of us should be made to feel bad about it or get a negative reaction. It's a personal choice and not anyone else's business really...

ETA: I'm already getting sick of the "you should have them close in age so you don't have to go through the diapering stage twice".

Message edited 8/10/2012 11:03:14 AM.

Re: Anyone having just one child

I can't stand those people who tell you what you "HAVE" to do.
I tell them- when you get pregnant for me, carry the baby for 9 months for me, push it out, and then raise it for the rest of it's life, then you can tell me what I HAVE to do.

Until then, I make the rules!

I am one and done. I have never felt so sure about anything in my life.
Financially, space wise and most importantly EMOTIONALLY we just can't do it.

I feel complete.

I have confidence that my DD will be fine.
She has cousins, she will have friends.
She will never be alone.

Re: Anyone having just one child

Anyone having just one child

I would love more children but I have many heart issues that make it complicated to be pregnant again. I do feel terrible about it. DS is enough for me, but I know we will not be enough for him one day. Sure he will have cousins and friends, but nothing compares to a sibling IMO. I have two wonderful siblings so I can only speak on my own experience.

Anyone having just one child

I used to think I would want more than one, but after having my DD right now I dont feel I want anymore... This has been a huge emotional toll on me, its a huge transition in my life, being someone whose worked all her life and is home now. It overwhelms me and makes me feel like I dont want to go through this again. I just want it to be the 3 of us and give our DD all our love...

Anyone having just one child

We go back and forth between being one and done and having one more when DS is 4 or 5 (he is 15 months). If we do decide to not have any more, I am 100% ok with that- I know my DS will be fine, either way.

Re: Anyone having just one child

Re: Anyone having just one child

This is entirely up to you, and I hate when people push you for it....

I did decide to have number 2, and wound up with 2 and 3 in one batch.

I LOVE LOVE my brothers (I have six) and wanted my son to have a sibling.

But if I could not get pregnant, I would be very happy with just my one child.

This is a personal decision, you do what is right for yourself and your family, and do not worry about anything else.

Anyone having just one child

nothing wrong with having one and only you would know what is best

i would wait until you have the first and give it awhile before making a full decision of course.

work, hours, pay, it could all change and/or improve......plus, if you have another baby of the same sex, you could have a wardrobe already set.

don't worry though..you don't need to know now. :)

Anyone having just one child

You are the only one who can make that decision. People are so rude and overstep their boundaries.

Re: Anyone having just one child

My mother is an only child and to compensate for a lack of family she has always surrounded herself with good friends who we consider family to us. So you should do what YOU are comfortable with and not feel pressured by anyone else to make your decisions. :)

Re: Anyone having just one child

Message edited 8/11/2012 11:31:24 AM.

Anyone having just one child

Omg I feel the same. I hate the guilt trip talks too. I really just want one. I had a miserable pregnancy, hate newborn stage and I want to be able to just be the three of us..plus the cat

Re: Anyone having just one child

DH is an only child and he tells me all the time how horrible being an only child is. He tries to make me feel guilty and I hate that. On top of that he wants to try for another right away. I will probably try for #2 but first I gotta get this one out. I just hate feeling like I'm "forced" to do something.

Anyone having just one child

im an only child. i love it. i believe im more independent and self sufficient than many people i know because of it. on the flip side im probably more antisocial because of it too LOL, but that's just my personality i guess. i cant imagine having a sibling simply because i never have had one.
DH is the oldest of 4 and i feel like his siblings are mine now. i would never say that an only child will be alone because you just never know how much support they will have overall.

because it took us a long time to get pregnant and i had an awefully traumatic and medically complicated birth, DH sometimes says we should have only 1. the thought has crossed my mind too, but more because i love her so much i cant imagine splitting the time with other children (im sure this is a common feeling when you have one kid). i am very attached and i fear the guilt of not having the same amount of time to give another child since ive been able to give Em SO much in her first 14 months.
i do think we will have another but not nearly as quick as some of my friends that have babies around the same age as DD. im thinking at 3 or 4, once she's in a school program it will be easier.

Re: Anyone having just one child

People don't realize how rude their comments come off. I get comments on the other end of the spectrum. I have twins and DH & I know we want to go for a third soon. When people ask or rather assume "you have two, so you are done, right??" I say No, we want one more. They look at me like I just peed on their cheerios. And tell me out right how crazy I am. Really? DH & I are married, we are financially and emotionally stable, and want to expand our family because we LOVE kids and nothing makes us happier than the house full of lil feet and laughter, and im crazy! You are damned if you do, damned if you don't. Do what you and your DH want, at the end of the day it is YOUR life, not theirs. I also agree with PP, wait till you have one, then see how you feel. EVERYTHING changes

Anyone having just one child

We are one and done. DS is seven now and he absolutely loves being an only child. We asked him several times (at different ages) if he wanted a brother or sister just to see what he'd say and the answer was always no. He is very outgoing and very social. I do feel we have to work a little harder to keep him occupied and busy because we have to do something with him or arrange play dates for him, and can't send him off to play with his non-existent siblings. But, as he gets older, he is able to spend more time on his own.

People would tell us we have to have another - it's mean to DS not to give him a sibling. My OB told me not to have another just to give him a sibling - you have to WANT the second/third/fourth/etc child for themselves, and not only as a playmate for your only child. We debated having another for awhile, but ultimately determined one was best for us. Siblings are no guarantee that they will be best friends or even get along. I don't feel guilty at all about having only one child.

Re: Anyone having just one child

I have a 2 year old....he is at the stage where he doesn't want to share...you know the stage I would say 99.9% of all toddlers go through at some point???

I find it HILARIOUS when people (several people, mind you)...have told me, "it's because he's an only child".....are they freaking kidding me? What am I supposed to be some baby making machine that pumps out kids one after the other? Of course he's an only child he's TWO! (no disrespect to those who have two in a row in under 2 years...i have friends who do).....

...and they are always random people in stores or at the library.