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DopeysMama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/12 218 total posts
Name:
Emily
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My husband is going to be the death of me
Ive posted a few times that my MIL thinks she should be allowed in the delivery room. She feels that since this will be her last grandbaby we should allow her in. She's a bit of a loon. I let me husband deal with her.
Im not sure when I last posted about this. But, since that time, she hasnt said much about it. I wrongly assumed that my husband squashed it. (I didnt want to bring it and open it up to discussion).
She calls the other day and asks me when my next sono is. I tell her that I have an appointment this week and that Im sure I'll have a sonogram. (I have some issues with my pregnancies so I get them every other week starting at 32 weeks.) I think to myself, sure, let her come. What harm can it do?
I just got off the phone with my husband. Apparently he told her that Im having a scheduled C-sections and they dont allow anyone extra to be in the delivery room.
 WHAT?
Im not having a scheduled section. It's always a possibility with me. But it's never scheduled and Ive given birth vaginally twice before.
He said "that's probably why she wants to go to the drs with you, so she can double check with them that no one else is allowed in"
Im going to kill him.
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Posted 8/1/12 10:04 AM  |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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My husband is going to be the death of me
lol omg!!! Thats totally something Shaun would do too... he would tell an outrageous lie because he has no balls to tell the truth!!!
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| Posted 8/1/12 10:07 AM |
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mommyof3girls
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2773 total posts
Name:
Sue
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
I'm sorry to  but men always do this.
What are you going to do now?
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| Posted 8/1/12 10:10 AM |
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
Oh Boy!! 
So what are you going to do now?
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| Posted 8/1/12 10:12 AM |
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IAMMRSBROWN
3 under 2!!!
Member since 10/10 2476 total posts
Name:
Carey
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
Can you just say he misunderstood what you were saying adn you said IF you have one then no one will be allowed in anyway. Then tell him that its his responsibilty to take care of this right now. If you dont want her in there (I would NEVER) then he needs to just say that, its no one elses decision but yours, thats crazy.
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| Posted 8/1/12 10:12 AM |
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BabyA
LIF Infant
Member since 12/10 103 total posts
Name:
Nina24
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
OMG!!!!! She's too much!!!
Someone get her a copy of 50 shades ASAP so she can calm down and let you give birth....LMAO!!!!!
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| Posted 8/1/12 10:22 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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My husband is going to be the death of me
I think you need to tell her flat out she will not be in the room...what the worst that can happen, she might get mad...oh well it will pass.
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| Posted 8/1/12 10:24 AM |
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jennarose023
Jack's gonna be a big brother!
Member since 11/08 7769 total posts
Name:
Jenna
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
Posted by IAMMRSBROWN
Can you just say he misunderstood what you were saying adn you said IF you have one then no one will be allowed in anyway. Then tell him that its his responsibilty to take care of this right now. If you dont want her in there (I would NEVER) then he needs to just say that, its no one elses decision but yours, thats crazy.
ITA
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| Posted 8/1/12 10:26 AM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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My husband is going to be the death of me
hahah omg that is terrible!!! i would kill my DH if he did that...dont lie about a surgery just tell her she cannot come in
MEN!
Message edited 8/1/2012 10:31:35 AM.
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| Posted 8/1/12 10:31 AM |
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JackiePags
They're the love of my life
Member since 8/10 1299 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
OMG! Boys and their mother's. I can sympathize...sorry!
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| Posted 8/1/12 10:36 AM |
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babylove26
LIF Adult
Member since 8/10 987 total posts
Name:
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
Posted by alli3131
I think you need to tell her flat out she will not be in the room...what the worst that can happen, she might get mad...oh well it will pass.
I agree, tell her you just want dh in the room. Let dh deal with the lie he told....men!!!
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| Posted 8/1/12 10:44 AM |
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moonmist09
Thank you, St. Gerard!
Member since 2/11 5043 total posts
Name:
Antonella
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My husband is going to be the death of me
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i would KILL my DH if he pulled something like this!
I would just tell her that you would rather her not come to the appointment and make it very clear that she will not be allowed in to the delivery room.
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| Posted 8/1/12 10:59 AM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
Well if she does inquire about the c-section with the doctor, and he says it's always a possibility but not scheduled....
I'd be brutally honest and say that your DH just told her that to get her to back off. She's not going to be in the delivery room and that's that. Because of how SHE is acting, her SON had to make up a lie. Blame it on HER.
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| Posted 8/1/12 11:01 AM |
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DopeysMama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/12 218 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
Posted by BaysideForever
Oh Boy!!
So what are you going to do now?
I have no idea. I think Im going to call her and tell her that Im not having a sonogram.
My husband said. "Let her go, she's not going to ask IF you're having a scheduled C-section. She's going to ask if grandparents are allowed in during it"
My husband pointed out that she might be coming along, because she wants to the sex of the baby. She doesnt agree with our being Team Green.
Im considering calling my doctor and telling him about the situation.
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| Posted 8/1/12 11:38 AM |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
OMG! This woman enrages me. I don't understand why you can't just tell her that you only want you and your husband in the room for the delivery. These are very personal, intimate experiences and you're well within your right to demand your privacy if someone is threatening to invade it. I think she is being very disrespectful and needs to know where the boundaries are.
As far as her going to my doc appt., well, that wouldn't be happening either.
Unless you learn to communicate your needs and your boundaries to her, you're going to have a lifetime of this!
Good luck!
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| Posted 8/1/12 12:09 PM |
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MrsKelly
just hangin' around...
Member since 11/06 6305 total posts
Name:
Krista
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
Posted by AngnShaun
lol omg!!! Thats totally something Shaun would do too... he would tell an outrageous lie because he has no balls to tell the truth!!!
my dh would do the same
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| Posted 8/1/12 1:08 PM |
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wo0shply
LIF Adult
Member since 11/08 2702 total posts
Name:
Tass
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My husband is going to be the death of me
OMG i think my DH would do the same thing!
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| Posted 8/1/12 1:12 PM |
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OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!
Member since 6/08 5172 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
Oh no, I would kill him!!!
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| Posted 8/1/12 2:15 PM |
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td123
LIF Infant
Member since 3/10 294 total posts
Name:
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
For what its worth, I believe that instances like these have potential to create ill feelings that people hold onto for a long time. So, instead of being brutally honest here, I would call the doctor's office, explainthe situation and find a way for them to respond to her in a polite manor that they do not recommend more than the father in the delivery room bc things can get very hectic and crazy.
I know it sounds like the chicken way out of it, but I truly feel that brutal honesty here could create tension in your relationship with your MIL that may take a long tiem to go away and truthfully, who really wants that?
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| Posted 8/1/12 3:56 PM |
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Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
X
Message edited 8/1/2012 7:18:01 PM.
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| Posted 8/1/12 3:59 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
He kind of painted you into a corner.....You could always ask your doctor to get on board with "only one coach in the room with you" regrdless of whether you push or have surgery - ......some DOCTORS or hospitals don't want 500 people in there, even if it WAS ok with you - KWIM?
And I completely disagree with the poster telling you to basically tread lightly re: your MIL's feelings being hurt. - You're not telling her to stay away from the hospital or that she can't hold the baby - SHE is completely overstepping by pushing to be in that delivery room - She has NO business there UNLESS by explicit invitation !!
my MIL tried that crap - I laughed in her face and said she obviously didn't know me at ALL .......the last thing I wanted in the delivery room was an audience !!
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| Posted 8/1/12 4:12 PM |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
Posted by td123
I know it sounds like the chicken way out of it, but I truly feel that brutal honesty here could create tension in your relationship with your MIL that may take a long tiem to go away and truthfully, who really wants that?
Why does the honesty have to be brutal? It can be said in a loving, but firm this-is-what-I-need and these-are-my-boundaries manner.
I truly believe that 99.9% of family conflict could be avoided with simple and calm direct communication! Lies and made-up excuses are only going to cause more drama in the end.
Message edited 8/2/2012 10:50:11 AM.
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| Posted 8/2/12 10:46 AM |
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td123
LIF Infant
Member since 3/10 294 total posts
Name:
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Re: My husband is going to be the death of me
Posted by evenedan
Posted by td123
I know it sounds like the chicken way out of it, but I truly feel that brutal honesty here could create tension in your relationship with your MIL that may take a long tiem to go away and truthfully, who really wants that?
Why does the honesty have to be brutal? It can be said in a loving, but firm this-is-what-I-need and these-are-my-boundaries manner.
I truly believe that 99.9% of family conflict could be avoided with simple and calm direct communication! Lies and made-up excuses are only going to cause more drama in the end.
While I agree with you when you are dealing with normal level headed people, I dont here. The OP said MIL is a loon and she lets her DH deal with her. Clearly, her DH doesnt want controversy and he feels that being honest with his own mother would create controversy otherwise he wouldnt have made up a c-section story. So, imho, for everyone involved, it may be easier and cause less tension in the end if the doctor just helps her out here. I know out of principle it seems ridiculous to not be able to say, listen I dont want you in the room, but sometimes taking a stand really just isnt worth it in the end if you have another way of getting what you want (ie doctor's office helping her out). It is very likely in a situation like this a loony MIL will hold a grudge (even though she has no reason to) and it could cause tension on her and her DH.
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| Posted 8/2/12 11:24 AM |
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