For those not having a shower

Do you find that people actually get insulted when you tell them that you dont want one? My feeling is that 8 days after the baby is born we will have a Briss and celebrate then. We registered for people who want to buy us gifts beforehand. Its a religious thing and a superstitious thing but my family and coworkers are like "what? how could you not want a shower?" Is there really something odd about this?

Re: For those not having a shower

I'm with you Genna! I never felt as though it was "odd" to not want a shower.. but ever since becoming pregnant, I do feel like people think I'm nuts when I tell them I did not want one!

I did NOT want a shower, and will not have one. After some resistance from my immediate family who thought "I had to have one", they have since abided by my wishes. I'm not sure if people get insulted when I express my feelings, but I get a lot of questions and raised eyebrows when I tell people that I did not want a shower ...(personal choice in my case, not religious reasons..)

I did register, though, since despite not having the shower I knew that our immediate families and friends wanted to get us some things, and I appreciate that so much. Plus I know both my coworkes and DH's office will give us some things as well, so it was better to have a registry in place and get things we wanted rather than things that we might not have bought ourselves...

It's just another personal decision that we make during this process.. but you're right, for some reason people seem to think its 'strange' when you do not have a baby shower for some reason

Message edited 8/24/2006 4:58:58 PM.

Re: For those not having a shower

Im Jewish too. I dont want a shower when I am pregnant. Most people in my family and circle of friends know I am too superstitious to bring anything baby related into my home before it is born In that case, I know that they wouldnt make me one. If anything, people at work take collections and either give money or clothing. If that is the case, I will simply give the gifts to someone else to hold until the baby is born.

If we are blessed with a boy, then we, like you, will have a bris and people can give gifts then. If we are blessed with a girl, we shall have a baby naming as soon as things settle down and people can give gifts then as well.

Bottom line is that people need to respect what you want and stop imposing their beliefs and traditions on to you.

Re: For those not having a shower

I just feel uncomfortable about the whole thing. When I told people, no I don't want one, they looked at me like I was unsocial.

First, I would be flying in just for the shower...I don't like how that feels. Second, DH's family is horrible in that department. I don't want him feeling like his family is sh!t because they don't buy anything or rsvp. My wedding shower wasn't worth it to me at the end of the day...sure I had a lot to open, and my fam is great, but to see his face at the end of the day...knowing people were invited from his side and did not even rsvp...not worth it.

I registered. I know people want to get me stuff, since I went to so many showers in the past.

Re: For those not having a shower

I don't think it is just a Jewish thing. I know a lot of people want to wait until the baby is home safe and sound. It sounds nice and if you can get the essentials you need to get home from the hospital the rest can be obtained later.

Re: For those not having a shower

I'm on the fence. DH is Jewish but his family is non-religious and both of his sisters had showers so that's not an issue.

First, I hate to be surprised. I told my BF, who lives in MA and has a 2 year old, that I must know about my shower. My life is way too busy for me and I need to know when it is so I can plan around it. I can't just clear every weekend. Doing that for my bridal shower was a nightmare and I hated it.

Second, I'll be doing it . BF and 2 SIL's all live OOS and have their own families. I can't ask MIL for another thing. Since it's twins, it will have to be early as typical gestation is no longer than 37 weeks. Probably late January just so I'm not super huge.

Third, we would probably have to have it at our house. I don't want to go to the added expense of having it at a restaurant when we are having twins and we need to buy double of a lot of things. DH's family is very generous but, as I learned from my wedding, my extended family are sooooo CHEAP. If I had it out, trust me we'd be in the hole financially.

I'm hoping to register early and maybe get some things for Christmas as well.

Re: For those not having a shower

It is so funny that you posted about not having a shower because I was going to post the exact same thing yesterday.

I did not have a bridal shower and I am not having a baby shower. I do not like having parties where people have to bring a gift and being the center of attention.

My thought on all of this is that if someone really wants to buy my husband and I something, they will, whether there is a shower or not.

I don't think anyone should be insulted. It is my personal decision and people should be ok with that.

Re: For those not having a shower

I think in some ways, people from my work are a bit relieved! There were 3 of us pregnant at the same time with me being the last. Although they all want to buy me something, I just let them know that for religous reasons, they can hold onto their gift until after the baby is born. Also, since we did not find out the sex of the baby, they can then buy us something gender specific.
Yes, at first people thought it was a bit strange that I felt this way but once I explained that for religious reasons, we do not bring anything into the house before the baby comes, they all understood. People really should respect your wishes, regardless of why they are.

Re: For those not having a shower

Thank you all soo much..you dont know how much better I feel! Besides being superstitious and not wanting one for religious reasons there are other reasons as well and in every response that I read to my post, I saw that someone else felt the same way! There was a drama in my family when it came to my bridal shower (that I didnt even want) and I cannot deal with more drama over something that is not important in the big picture. I just feel that we can all celebrate at the Bris when the baby is home and all is well. We registered and are having everything shipped to my dad's and anything that people gave us already is also at my dad's house. People just dont understand and look at me like I have 10 heads when they ask if I want a shower and I tell them no...you girls made me feel so much better! Thank you!!

Re: For those not having a shower

I don't really want one. I hate being the center of attention and at my bridal shower I was at least able to pound a few glasses of wine to take the edge off.

I'd INSIST, really, on not having one, but this is my parents' first grandchild. I am also my parents' only daughter, so I would be made to feel guilty if I didn't let my mom do this for me. I am hoping to have something very small and low-key.