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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
I have a friend who is a preschool teacher that I hang out with pretty frequently. Her son is exactly my 3yo's age and they play well together. My kids adore her. Her DH is an elementary school teacher. She is off for the summer. He tutors on the side. I know they could use the extra money.
Would she be offended if I asked her to occasionally babysit for us?
DH goes to conferences, continuing education, is on call frequently. We usually pay our nanny hundreds of dollars of overtime to help me out when DH is unavailable or out of town. We plan to get rid of our nanny. (see other thread)
DH thinks it would be offensive to pay our friend to watch our kids and/or hang out with me when he is unavailable. I think it could be win win.
Will it be weird because I would want to hang out with her sometimes without paying her and other times I would want her to basically have a playdate without me and I would pay her.
Message edited 7/23/2012 9:28:19 PM.
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Posted 7/23/12 9:27 PM  |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
I think you should probably approach her honestly. Tell her that you have decided to let your nanny go and you're in a bind. Explain that since she's so great with your kids that you were wondering if she would be interested in making some extra money helping you out. If she agrees, come up with a set schedule for her to eliminate the weirdness of some days you pay her, some days you don't.
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| Posted 7/23/12 9:32 PM |
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If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
You could be honest with her but if she sees you as being in a friend situation, she might not want money..we have friends that watch DD sometimes and they refuse to take money..we buy things for their kids in lieu of that since we feel terrible that they are doing us a favor and refuse any payment!
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| Posted 7/23/12 9:42 PM |
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KwaaksNest
Love my boys!
Member since 6/10 2825 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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Re: If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
Posted by nferrandi
I think you should probably approach her honestly. Tell her that you have decided to let your nanny go and you're in a bind. Explain that since she's so great with your kids that you were wondering if she would be interested in making some extra money helping you out. If she agrees, come up with a set schedule for her to eliminate the weirdness of some days you pay her, some days you don't.
ITA....i think it would be good for both of you if you could come to an agreement
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| Posted 7/23/12 9:44 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
Posted by TheDivaBrideandTeddyFrog
You could be honest with her but if she sees you as being in a friend situation, she might not want money..we have friends that watch DD sometimes and they refuse to take money..we buy things for their kids in lieu of that since we feel terrible that they are doing us a favor and refuse any payment!
She watched our kids once for 3 hours. Ironically it was to attend our nanny's daughter's wedding. She refused payment. I ended up taking their family out to lunch, gifting her DS a $50 gift certificate to TRU plus a normal ~$20 birthday present. They did not have a party for their DS.
Since I struggle when I am out alone with the 2 boys, she always lends a helping hand. She genuinely seems to love holding DS#2. She always asks if it is ok to hold him and how she misses the baby/toddler phase. This is also when my DH and her DH are around too.
I get the feeling that she feels burdened because I usually pay for everything. I always buy her DS lunch along with my DS. I think if we could work something out, she could pick up a few hundred dollars while her DS plays with my DS. Unlike me, she is used to a room full of preschoolers so 3 kids should be pretty easy for her to manage.
Message edited 7/23/2012 9:52:50 PM.
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| Posted 7/23/12 9:50 PM |
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If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
We do the same thing with our friends...we've had the discussion and they just won't take money..they, too, love our DD...have the discussion..even if it comes out that you will just take care of her kids...I know me personally, I am more touched when people remember DD than if they even give me anything anymore..
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| Posted 7/23/12 9:58 PM |
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Jacksmommy
My love muffin!
Member since 1/07 5819 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
As a teacher that is off this summer, I have watched a few friends kids this summer. Of course I do, but I would never take money for it. Its actually easier for me b/c DS has a playmate and doesn't have to bother me!
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| Posted 7/23/12 10:10 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
I just wanted to add, if it was a once in a while thing, I think she would likely decline payment. That's why you should have a set schedule and payment plan worked out.
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| Posted 7/23/12 10:14 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
Posted by nferrandi
I just wanted to add, if it was a once in a while thing, I think she would likely decline payment. That's why you should have a set schedule and payment plan worked out.
DH is on call about one weekend a month and then he goes to conferences or courses once a month. We basically need 2 weekends per month. I usually have my nanny come on both Saturday and Sunday for a few hours.
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| Posted 7/23/12 10:20 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
Honestly - I wouldn't set up that kind of arrangement with a friend b/c I thnk it could easily get uncomfortable - for you and/or her.
I think you should keep your friendship separate, solicit her help, as your friend, only when you're really in a bind, and find another arrangement for your sitter.
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| Posted 7/24/12 9:45 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
Posted by MarisaK
Honestly - I wouldn't set up that kind of arrangement with a friend b/c I thnk it could easily get uncomfortable - for you and/or her.
I think you should keep your friendship separate, solicit her help, as your friend, only when you're really in a bind, and find another arrangement for your sitter.
Should I ask her for "help" and offer to pay for outings? I would totally pay for meals and tickets for anything. It is really hard for me to go out with the 2 kids alone. In NY, I had lots of childless friends who would often hang out with me when DH was at work. Now I only have mommy friends and most can't help me because they are busy enough with their own kid(s).
Since she has only one 3yo, it is perfect when we go out together but I don't want her to think I am taking advantage of her.
DH thinks I am totally overthinking this.
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| Posted 7/24/12 10:48 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by MarisaK
Honestly - I wouldn't set up that kind of arrangement with a friend b/c I thnk it could easily get uncomfortable - for you and/or her.
I think you should keep your friendship separate, solicit her help, as your friend, only when you're really in a bind, and find another arrangement for your sitter.
Should I ask her for "help" and offer to pay for outings? I would totally pay for meals and tickets for anything. It is really hard for me to go out with the 2 kids alone. In NY, I had lots of childless friends who would often hang out with me when DH was at work. Now I only have mommy friends and most can't help me because they are busy enough with their own kid(s).
Since she has only one 3yo, it is perfect when we go out together but I don't want her to think I am taking advantage of her.
DH thinks I am totally overthinking this.
I think you are overthinking as well. - You seem to have the money and are very generous in spirt - however, she IS your friend. And friends help each other out -
I'm sure she would appreciate you treating her to lunch ONCE IN A WHILE - but I personally would feel terrible if my friend was picking up the bill every time we went out - I would never let her - evern if she hit lotto for $200 million !!
Mahybe you could just tell her straight out - I want to pay today b/c you help me SO much - KWIM? That was it's kind of a "thank you" instead of I don't know ......an obligation?
I realize you are trying to do what's right b/c you don't want to seem like your're taking advantage of her - but again, she's your friend. You don't have to pay your friend especially if you're hanging out with her !!
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| Posted 7/24/12 11:08 AM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
how many hours on the weekend would you need her for? is it like a full 8 hour day? or 4 hours? will she be running around doing errands with you or hanging out at the house?
I would be totally honest to her of your intentions. tell her everything you said in your post.
" look, you are a great friend of mine, so please dont be insulted by this...
dh is away twice a month and wondering if you think you can lend me a hand. you may not agree to this, but i want to pay you for your time. right now we pay our nanny over time but we are looking to get rid of her.
do you think you can watch the kids ( whatever days you had in mind)? some days i will be around, and we can go on outtings etc.
clearly, she will say that she does not want you to pay her but its ok to insist. you respect and value her time.
if this is going to be reoccurring "job"draw up terms, if its an outting, then you pay for tickets etc. if she is watching your kids and you are out running errands, than pay her.
otherwise, if its sporadic, it would be silly to pay her b.c then it is more of a favor and i doubt she will want to be paid.
but it is nice of you to offer and i am sure she will appreciate the sentiment.
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| Posted 7/25/12 2:35 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
personally I would talk to her and say, that you are letting go your nanny but could really use some help and wanted to know if she might be interested. Tell her you were going to look for a babysitter but was trying to think of someone who you knew and trusted and thought because your boys know her she might be interested.
Also if she says yes, tell her that you want to pay her.
I am a sahm, and started babysitting for a neighbor. A few months later a friend decided she wanted to go back to work pt and asked VIA email (she said she didnt want to put me on the spot) if I might be interested in watching her daughter. She explained about how many hours, what she was looking for etc adn said flat out, she would only be willing to do this if I will okay with her paying me.
I watched her DD for about a year until we both had our #2's. We are still really good friends and hang out regularly.
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| Posted 7/25/12 3:33 PM |
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08BabySurprise
My Life. My Everything.
Member since 10/07 9151 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you are a teacher, would you be insulted if your friend asked you to babysit?
Posted by nferrandi
I think you should probably approach her honestly. Tell her that you have decided to let your nanny go and you're in a bind. Explain that since she's so great with your kids that you were wondering if she would be interested in making some extra money helping you out. If she agrees, come up with a set schedule for her to eliminate the weirdness of some days you pay her, some days you don't.
!00% agree with this approach.
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| Posted 7/25/12 4:45 PM |
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