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PrettyPeonies
GAW my baby boy <3
Member since 8/10 3874 total posts
Name:
Pino
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How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
You are preggo w/your 1st child. This is also your parents & IL's 1st Grandchild.
One day your MIL gives you a gift. You read the card and its written as if its from your child (that is in utero) to you and your DH. The card states that "Uncle John" (DH's brother) has said its ok for me to borrow HIS Christening blanket for my special day (your DH did not have a Christening blanket) and that Grandma has decided she is going to design a Christening outfit for me, using her Wedding dress as material.
So basically your MIL has taken it upon herself to completely design and decide what your child is going to wear on his/her Christening w/out discussing it w/you.
I hope I didnt confuse you.
Also, if this bothered you, how would you handle it?
FTR....this happened to my friend and not me. I think it comes from a good place, a tad presumptuous, but not a horrid thing to do to someone. I told my friend, who already had a Christening blanket from her Grandmother to kindly return the blanket saying that she was planning on using the one from her Grandma. I also suggested she say that she didnt feel right using it b/c it should be saved for BIL's future children. Regarding the designing the actual outfit, I suggested she allow MIL to use her wedding dress material but explain that she and the God Mother will be designing it but she is more than welcome to be involved too.
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Posted 6/26/12 2:28 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
id say i already have something that the baby will wear.
As far as BIL, just because she borrows BILs blanket doesnt mean she will keep it.
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| Posted 6/26/12 2:30 PM |
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Re: How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
I would borrow the blanket because to me that isn't such a big deal. but i would pass on the outfit, because that would be important to me and I would want to buy it or design it myself. I would have my DH discuss it with her and would not even try to attempt that conversation on my own though.
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| Posted 6/26/12 2:35 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
as long as i had a say in the design of the gown, i'd be ok with it. if that wasnt working out, i'd do what ang says.
what's a christening blanket 
eta i feel like that gown would have more meaning than a store bought one, kwim?
Message edited 6/26/2012 2:36:47 PM.
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| Posted 6/26/12 2:36 PM |
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PrettyPeonies
GAW my baby boy <3
Member since 8/10 3874 total posts
Name:
Pino
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Re: How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
Posted by cateyemm
what's a christening blanket
eta i feel like that gown would have more meaning than a store bought one, kwim?
HAHAHA i asked the same thing...its just a blanket the baby uses on its christening day. My friend said it usually matches the outfit.
I agree w/your point on the outfit.
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| Posted 6/26/12 2:39 PM |
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Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
hahaha my MIL told me she still had DH's christening outfit and asked me if I would want it for our baby to wear. I told her NO THANKS. DH is 31 years old and i'm sure it's way outdated lol. It's your baby....Who cares what she thinks! Do what you want lol
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| Posted 6/26/12 2:42 PM |
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MrsRapz
mahna mahna!
Member since 2/12 1952 total posts
Name:
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How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
as you said, it's coming from a good place but is very presumptuous and i wouldn't be ok with it.
i'd find a way to decline the offer.
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| Posted 6/26/12 2:44 PM |
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PhillyGirl
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/09 890 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
OMG, what is with IL's? I would politely decline. Speaking from experience, this may be just a sign of things to come, and if limits aren't set early and often, ILs may intrude on your friend's life for years to come.
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| Posted 6/26/12 2:58 PM |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
I would borrow the blanket and snap a few pics of baby on it. Done.
As far as the outfit, I would be honest and say though the idea is thoughtful and lovely, I really had my heart set on picking out an outfit for baby's christening. I'd follow that with a bunch of thank you for your thoughtfulness kind of comments, I hope you understand, blah blah blah, lots of hugs and I'm done.
If they are still upset, well, I guess that's their issue to get over.
People need to realize when they're being presumptuous and overbearing, so as awkward as it might be, you're going to have school them a bit.
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| Posted 6/26/12 4:01 PM |
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Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
I think you gave her good advice. It can be difficult because everyone is excited but you don't want to hurt feelings.
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| Posted 6/26/12 4:44 PM |
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WinterBaby13
LIF Infant
Member since 6/12 213 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
I dislike my MIL and loath my BIL so I would probably tell her although the gesture is so kind of her the god parents have already offered to provide the blanket/outfit. I mean how old is this stuff and how well has it been preserved??
It is super nice of her but I hate when people just assume that is what you would want for your baby.
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| Posted 6/26/12 4:52 PM |
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PrettyPeonies
GAW my baby boy <3
Member since 8/10 3874 total posts
Name:
Pino
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Re: How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
Posted by WinterBaby13
I dislike my MIL and loath my BIL so I would probably tell her although the gesture is so kind of her the god parents have already offered to provide the blanket/outfit. I mean how old is this stuff and how well has it been preserved??
It is super nice of her but I hate when people just assume that is what you would want for your baby.
yeah, that was my ques to her too. what kind of shape is the wedding dress in? I mean it is apparently 35 + yrs old. She loves her MIL but I think its obvious that her MIL is very overbearing. Mine is the exact same way, so we have a lot in common. Both of them dont ever take into consideration what we (the Moms) would want. Its very annoying. I feel bad b/c apparently my friend's Mother constantly feels like she is ignored and the MIL is always acting like she doesnt exist. I dont have a Mom so thats not an issue for me but I def feel for my friend.
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| Posted 6/26/12 5:03 PM |
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WinterBaby13
LIF Infant
Member since 6/12 213 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
Posted by MrsJFG
Posted by WinterBaby13
I dislike my MIL and loath my BIL so I would probably tell her although the gesture is so kind of her the god parents have already offered to provide the blanket/outfit. I mean how old is this stuff and how well has it been preserved??
It is super nice of her but I hate when people just assume that is what you would want for your baby.
yeah, that was my ques to her too. what kind of shape is the wedding dress in? I mean it is apparently 35 + yrs old. She loves her MIL but I think its obvious that her MIL is very overbearing. Mine is the exact same way, so we have a lot in common. Both of them dont ever take into consideration what we (the Moms) would want. Its very annoying. I feel bad b/c apparently my friend's Mother constantly feels like she is ignored and the MIL is always acting like she doesnt exist. I dont have a Mom so thats not an issue for me but I def feel for my friend.
It would have been so much MORE thoughtful had her MIL just said to her, "how would you feel about designing a Christening outfit? And if you like the material of my wedding gown I would love for you to use it" I don't like the whole letter from your baby written by someone else thing, it just seems a little manipulative.
I can see how she is probably completely overbearing and it cannot be fun to deal with 
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| Posted 6/26/12 5:08 PM |
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BeachGrl
LIF Adult
Member since 10/11 2140 total posts
Name:
Kristy
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Re: How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
I would probably flat out say no thank you, and that I want to pick out the outfit myself
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| Posted 6/26/12 6:45 PM |
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labonnevie
sometimes 1+1= 4 <3
Member since 8/09 3869 total posts
Name:
the lucky one
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How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
I'd tell her to thank her for the gesture, but tell her you and DH have your heart set on picking out the outfit themselves. I do think the outfit made with her dress would have meaning to it, but what if she wants it made from her own wedding dress? Maybe that's what I would say- that I was thinking of having it made from my dress. I would 'borrow' the blanket and do what someone said, snap some pictures in it and move on.
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| Posted 6/26/12 7:15 PM |
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BeachGal
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 2827 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
My ds's christening was last fall and I didn't care about the outfit at all. I'm just not into that stuff so I bought the least expensive one I could find ($30) and he looked perfect in it. If someone wanted to make me one for free I would be all for it as long as it wasn't yellowed or too girly looking. I'm due with #2 and if it's a boy he will be wearing the same outfit, lol.
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| Posted 6/27/12 7:35 AM |
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Melmel821
Love being a mom!
Member since 5/08 2776 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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Re: How would you feel about this & how would you handle it
While I think it's a nice gesture and all, personally I wound want to pick out the outfit and blanket. You can't keep a borrowed blanket... it would be nice to have your own. KWIM. Also, it's her first grandchild and it doesn't sound to me like she was trying to be a pest. I think it sounds like she was truly trying to be nice. I'd look into designing the outfit together and getting my own blanket.
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| Posted 6/27/12 9:35 AM |
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