how do you deal with people's pg news?

Feel like a real witch. My cousin announced that they are pg last night, I guessed it at Christmas. I had a meltdown. They got married during the summer and were just winging it. This is 3rd couple that was just winging it and are due this summer. Dh was a great comfort but I lost it. Makes it harder that there are very few people I will talk to this about bc I'm generally a very private person and it feels wrong to be like oh yay you are pg but I'm going through xyz let's talk about that instead of you. Don't need the pity card or that look people give you when you say you are having problems like its all in your head.

Re: how do you deal with people's pg news?

I am the EXACT SAME WAY!!!! A few of us here have said lately that all of this feels like our own "dirty little secret." I don't want to get that pity look either, it would just add insult to injury.

I suppose I get through it because I remind myself that those people deserve to be happy just as much as I do. Even if your cousin was not preggo, it wouldn't change your situation at all. I'm not saying that it won't sting or even make us a bit jealous, but in the end, their blessing does not take away from our situation in any way. It's really hard and I TOTALLY get it!! I'm actually having a horrible week and got some devastating news last week which still has me reeling so believe me, I feel your pain. I wish we could all have it so easy as those who just "wing it" and get lucky. Such is life, I guess.

Re: how do you deal with people's pg news?

Its hard... most of my family knows what im going through so it makes it a little easier because i have people i can go to...

Re: how do you deal with people's pg news?

I just found out that my close friend is pregnant and I am happy for them...I have not told any friends about our IF but she asked about us and I finally told her that we have been trying and I am seeing an RE...she understands since her SIL and other friends have gone thru this so it wasnt something she didnt know about...we didnt go into details but at least one other person knows...

Re: how do you deal with people's pg news?

i feel like a total b!tch...last night my SIL told us she was preggo with her second child. While I am happy for her, all I want to do is cry

Re: how do you deal with people's pg news?

Lol, not well.

I try to muster the fakest congratulation I can since it's not their fault I'm miserable. Then I cry a lot and wallow in self pity for a bit. Then I avoid them like lepers.

Re: how do you deal with people's pg news?

I've already told some friends that if they get pregnant to just text me the info. I don't want to be a part of their grand announcement. I can cry it out on my own and then get over it and be happy for them later.

I also told one of my pregnant friends that I didn't want to hang out with her (this was after my ectopic) and I would let her know when I was ready.

It may sound f-ed up, but they respect me and my request.

Also seeing a therapist unbelievably helps.

Re: how do you deal with people's pg news?

it depends on who is telling me they are pregnant ----as awful as that sounds.

one friend just had a baby but she has had a rough few year -- lost her mom, ect so I was really happy for her

another friend of a friend is due next month and can't afford to pay her cell phone bill -- this one not happy about

Re: how do you deal with people's pg news?

It's hard! I've been trying to just keep in mind that their pregnancy = a baby that's meant to be in this world in 9 months and that hopefully sooner than later we will have a baby that's meant for the same It doesn't always work but I try.

Re: how do you deal with people's pg news?

I prepare my smile and answer ahead of time. 4 cousins my age recently announced their 2nd pregnancies within 6 months. Deep breath, smile, awesome news.

then head home, cry, eat, repeat. that's how I deal with it. you're not alone. we all melt down.

Re: how do you deal with people's pg news?

is it hard..yes..do i cry yes..

but as time has gone on i have come to reailze i cannot stop life..people have to live and do what they want and should

i do not know why some have it harder than others..i wish i did

but i do know that this is my way of getting there and we wont give up until we do and i want those people to be just as happy for me as i was for them

now after that that sti does not mean i do not have a snickers or too or give the evil eye to the girl behind me in line saying she is getting so big and gained 5 lbs this month and she wants a drink etc etc


it is a real real sucky thing to go through...but if it was not worth trying we would all give up

Re: how do you deal with people's pg news?

Re: how do you deal with people's pg news?

I think I've gtten much better with separating peoples pg news from my own. It always stung but honestly, their journey has nothing to do with mine and just because they're pregnant, doesnt mean Im any further away from my dream of being a mom.. it just means they got there first.
I dont know if that makes sense.. but yes it always bothers me a little but I try to remember that I am genuinely happy for these people and that usually takes the sting out (a little lol)