Question about where I stand with TTC....

Just wondering how this works now with TTC. As of DH's biopsy, the Dr. said he couldn't find anything so technically I know that 'no sperm = no baby.' However, DH is 22 months out from his last round of chemo. Dr. is saying that 'you never know' because it can take up to 5 years for sperm production to resume after taking cytoxan (if it comes back) and he wants to start DH on Chlomid next month to see if he can start up any production. After my pity posts and all the crying i've been doing, I feel like it's stupid to even be hopeful. I don't want to be crying every month when AF arrives but I can't get it out of my head that infertility is not ALWAYS permanent (although probably likely). Ughghhgghgh I am so frustrated. What do you ladies think? Would you be hopeful? Would you be a little anxious each month wondering 'what if?' of would you be able to put it out of your head completely......

Anyone have any experience with this by the way? Just a thought.

Re: Question about where I stand with TTC....

I'm really sorry...you guys have been through so much already, but it sounds like you're really at the beginning of this journey. I think right now you have to take things one step at a time, see how the clomid works and if there's anything the doctors can do to get their hands on some sperm.

And if they can't, then you evaluate your options again at that point Whether you want to wait to see if he'll start producing sperm in a couple years might depend on your age and your reproductive health. Or you can take some time to digest the idea of donor sperm and whether or not it's for you.

I know when bad news comes down there's this feeling of urgency to figure things out, but if there's one thing this rollercoaster ride has taught me, it's that IF is a process.

Sending you lost of good vibes

Re: Question about where I stand with TTC....

I agree with the PP. This is going to be a long journey and you should try to accept that. You can't live month to month at this point because it will make you nuts. If your husband tries Clomid that will be at least another 3-4 months before they test him again.

I think it's really helpful now to start thinking about all of your options - donor sperm, adoption, no children, etc. Just be prepared. There are going to be a lot of twists and turns and you just can't predict now how your story will end. There are still plenty of options for you to choose from, so start researching and talking about them now.

From personal experience, I think the more you talk about your options now, the easier decisions will be down the road. We just went through mTESE and IVF to try to have DH's biological child. It failed, unfortunately, so now we know our 'plan C' is IUI with donor sperm. Life keeps throwing us loops but we had 9 months to prepare for this decision and we're ready to move on...as soon as the dr gives us the go ahead.

Re: Question about where I stand with TTC....

My DH went through chemotherapy and unfortunately, after almost 7 years, his sperm production didn't come back. Luckily, we had 3 vials of sperm he saved before chemo. It could go either way with your DH. We were told to keep checking his SA for 5 years... It has only been 2 for you!

I would start preparing yourself for other options, but hope for the best. No one can know what road you will end up on. It is too soon to tell.

Re: Question about where I stand with TTC....

Well, our issues are very different so I can't exactly say I relate to what you're going through.. but I CAN relate to wanting a baby more than ANYTHING while having to deal with the unknown and the possibility that things may not ever repair themselves. I always told myself that no matter what, I will be a mom... Whether it was through surrogacy... adoption ... etc... It may not happen the way you expected it to, but in the end, I believe you will be a mom too! Sorry if this doesn't help much... Maybe it would be better to focus on baby steps along the way rather than the bigger picture which can be so overwhelming...