DH Involvement

OK another post from me!

What does your DH do to get involved with your treatments, and the whole process? Do you feel able to talk to him about every step? How does he react? Is he wanting to know every detail or does he listen in a "data gathering" manner? Has he expressed frustration or any other feelings to you during the process?

Re: DH Involvement

in the beginning he wasnt really involved. he just showed up to the appointments where he was needed for procedures. after a few months, i was getting tired of doing it on my own so i started asking him to come with me. he was never against coming, we just werent the type to accompany each other on appointments. now he comes with me on as many as he can.

when he did my shots, he was very involved in the protocol and knew it better than me. now i do my own shots, he doesnt really pay attention even though i tell him (not such a big deal though).

we definitely discuss every aspect of it all, especially lately the emitional toll its taking. actually, we often discuss it and sometimes we have to take breaks from it because it's just too much.

i realized that i needed to outrite tell him that i needed him to be more involved because i felt like it was all on me to remember appointments, ask the right questions, etc. The onus is still mostly on me but at least i dont feel like im flying solo.

Re: DH Involvement

My dh was as involved as he could be during the process. I'm not sure he understood the whole process but he tried. He would come to all the appointments he could make. I tried to schedule appointments as early as I could so it didn't affect his job. He did all the testing he needed to do without complaint. He injected me with needles when I couldn't bare to do it.

He was very open about talking about it, and when months would pass without a bfp he understood why I would cry. He comforted me and was always the posisitive one.

Even when I had an early loss we grieved togeother. When he was ready to try again and I wasn't he was supportive of me. Its a really hard road to travel. Emotionally and physcially draining on both partners. I felt bad for DH at times because I was a crazy nut on the meds. Financially it can be a hardship as well. Had our last iui not worked we were going to be paying out of pocket for IVF. I think men get really stressed about money, well my DH was at least. He worried about things like what if we spend the money and it doesn't work.

My Dh was a little more prepared than most becaause he knew before we got married that we would need IF treatments to get pg so I think that helped alot.

Message edited 2/19/2012 5:23:15 PM.

Re: DH Involvement

I tell DH all the details and I'm pretty sure he still doesn't really get it. I just tell him when and where to be and what's needed of him and he does it. If he gives me flack, he gets a detailed earfull of what I have been through in this process and he shuts up.

ETA, he never came in with me to apts. Sometimes he goes to apts and waits in the waiting room though. He really only comes with me if he's needed.

Message edited 2/19/2012 5:17:59 PM.