I could just use a vent/whine/pity party

I could use a good vent...........or whine, depending upon how you look at it!

I am depressed today. I am 11DPIUI today and for the first time since my IUI I sorta feel totally normal today, no symptoms like the past 11 days. I took a cheapie test yesterday, BFN. Resolved not to test again until Wednesday and with a good, reliable test..........FRER. (and yes, I've been good........did NOT test today at all)

I'm SO nervous to test tomorrow. I don't know if I can emotionally handle the BFN. All of the other times my IUI failed it was "ok" because I knew I would be off and running with another cycle and I'd be back in the game but this time it's different. Since we paid out of pocket because we have no IF coverage this was a one shot deal. Pay and pray!!! Right now with all of our other expenses and debt I just don't think we have another $1400 to spend on an IUI cycle if this one fails. It's breaking my heart and it's just so depressing.

I'm trying to stay positive but at the same time I'm trying to prepare myself for the letdown. And I know it's still early and I know I still have a chance but I am just not feeling too positive today. I pray I am wrong but the fact that I am feeling ok today is really throwing me.

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble and rant. I just needed to feel bad for myself for a minute. This TTC thing sux!! It's so frustrating...........how could something that is suppose to be so "natural" be so hard??!! It makes me sad that I'm not one of those people that can just get pregnant when I want............no stress, financial concerns, no meds, no doctors, no monitoring. I hate that this is my lot in life. It just blows.

Re: I could just use a vent/whine/pity party

First of all .. one MASSIVE for holding out till tomorrow to use the FRER ...

Anyway.. for how you're feeling right now. I have NO idea why any of us on this board have to go through any of this garbage. The emotional, physical, and financial strain is just NOT fair.. There's no other way to put it. Nobody deserves this.


Lately I find myself constantly chasing away sadness by reminding myself how fortunate I am to have other things in my life.. my DH .. my parents.. etc. but it still doesn't fill the very natural desire to have a baby. I wish I had something inspiring to say here, but I don't. All I can offer is a sympathetic hand because I totally feel for you.

Oh and lastly- You never know what tomorrow may bring!!

Re: I could just use a vent/whine/pity party

Thank you!! Your words mean a lot. And you're right, I should always try to find happiness in the things I have instead on focusing on what I am missing.

And first and foremost, I am SOOOOOOO thankful and SOOOOOO blessed to have my DD and I thank my lucky stars every day for her. Something in the universe must have been aligned just right and some miracle brought her to me. And I know how fortunate I am and I feel bad sometimes for complaining when I at least have her but I think that want and desire for children is always there, even if you already have one. KWIM?

And you're right, who knows what tomorrow will bring. I am trying to not focus on it and trying to just be positive but as you know, always easier said then done.

Anyway, thank you again!!! xoxo

Re: I could just use a vent/whine/pity party

I agree with Penny Cat, you never know what tomorrow can bring.

It sucks, this whole thing. TTC should be like getting a flu shot, it should not be this hard.

However, I am starting to feel we were put on this journey for a reason. I know you don't know the reason yet nor do I, but we will find out one day.

I am hopeful for you tomorrow!

Re: I could just use a vent/whine/pity party

Posted by 2BirdsofaFeather

I agree with Penny Cat, you never know what tomorrow can bring.

It sucks, this whole thing. TTC should be like getting a flu shot, it should not be this hard.

However, I am starting to feel we were put on this journey for a reason. I know you don't know the reason yet nor do I, but we will find out one day.

I am hopeful for you tomorrow!

Re: I could just use a vent/whine/pity party

i hope you get your bfp!

Re: I could just use a vent/whine/pity party

It's just the process, ya know? I agree to hold on to hope because a day makes a huge difference in this game!!
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