Any advice or helpful hints on dealing with my worst enemy...

That would be me by the way.

I truly am my own worst enemy.

I read WAY too much into everything.

Like SIL's status on FB "happier than ever" and automatically assume its b/c she is PG. I know through other people that they started TTCing in Jan. other than my insane thoughts I have no evidence that she is PG.

I also have deleted a few acquaintances on FB b/c they are PG with their 2nd or 3rd.

We've been TTCin for 14 months with only 1 chemical (in July).

I just don't know how to deal with these thoughts & feelings

I know others aren't going to put their lives on hold just because I can't conceive.

But I can't fight the feelings- I try not to show it but it's difficult.

I try talking to DH, but he doesn't get it. He says "we'll get PG. don't worry"

I do worry. I'm 37

Re: Any advice or helpful hints on dealing with my worst enemy...

It was like that for me alittle over a year ago before I had my son, it seemed like my cousins, friends, coworkers were all getting pg at the same time it was so frustrating because you want to be happy for them but then you feel like why not me. I had a pity party than you just have to convince yourself the time will come being sad and down is not going to help your chances so I would just try to stay positive.

Re: Any advice or helpful hints on dealing with my worst enemy...

Thank you for responding. I think I will try and find positive reinforcements- be it thru books or meditation or something

That's my goal or the weekend

Re: Any advice or helpful hints on dealing with my worst enemy...

Yes def do that and good luck with everything

Re: Any advice or helpful hints on dealing with my worst enemy...

i don't have any helpful hints, but just wanted to offer
i know i haven't been through close what most of the women on here have been through, so i don't post often - but we started TTC 14 months ago, with 1 miscarriage at 10.5 weeks basically right in the middle of that time period.
i am surrounded by people who get pregnant on their 1st try, pregnant on accident, or even friends who are TTC - and it's like torture trying to display happiness for them, when all i really feel is overwhelming disappointment for myself. the reality is we know no one can put their lives on hold while we are on this journey, but i know it feels like you just want to pause life that goes on around us, until we can join in.

Re: Any advice or helpful hints on dealing with my worst enemy...

first

second...i have been there..i was there for a long time..when i hated everyone on fb,wanted to block people etc etc

then one day i just said to myself..stop..this is their time..idk how they got there..if i posted i am 12 weeks preggo on fb right now people would have no idea it took over 2 years ivf;s 3 losses etc...i have no idea how they got there

and also they should be happy..they should post on fb..i cannot wait to do that...if anything all us IF girls have earned it...have earned that right to shout from the roof tops i am pregnant!

do not get me wrong..everything u feel is validated justified and understandable..it suucks..really no other way to put it...it is a horrible feeling and i wish nobody could ever experience it.

i think what made me realize was once when we were out a mutual friend wanted to tell the group of friends we were out with that she was pregnant but felt bad doing it in front of me....it shook me...why should she have to walk on eggshells around me...this is great news for her


do i have my days..of course..i have cried myself to sleep more times that i could tell you....i have never gone through anything as hard as IF.

but u know whe it does happen i want those people to be happy for me like i was for them...even if i faked it lol

now after al lthat....the ones on fb who complain all day about being pregnant...esp when i had to hear how hard ttc was..u knwo those 4 long months....those get blocked


feel better!!!!!!!!

Re: Any advice or helpful hints on dealing with my worst enemy...

Posted by gina409


now after al lthat....the ones on fb who complain all day about being pregnant...esp when i had to hear how hard ttc was..u knwo those 4 long months....those get blocked

Re: Any advice or helpful hints on dealing with my worst enemy...

Distraction.

I have completely failed at finding a good way to think about this.

So I fill my life with things that make me happy, which have nothing to do with being pregnant, which (in some cases) pregnant people can't do. The busier I stay, the smaller space in my brain IF occupies, but it's always a process of keeping it at bay.

Go try to have fun. If there's one thing IF has taught me it's that you can only do what you do do, and worrying about your age or who will get preggers before you or whatever timeline you've set for yourself is so irrelevant to what actually happens. What's that expression? We make plans and God laughs? You go through the motions of the treatments in hopes that one of these times it works out, and spend the rest of your energy living your life.

Message edited 2/5/2012 7:28:04 AM.