For those who ever looked into or considered a surrogate...

Give it to me straight.. what are the costs? How does it work? Where do you even start?

We aren't up to this yet, I just want to be informed of all my options. I can't believe I'm even asking about this I'm just looking to be informed at this point.


I'll update at some point soon when I feel less drained.

Re: For those who ever looked into or considered a surrogate...

i don't know but i want to give you we've been talking A LOT about adoption and i know the fees are very high for it. i think surrogacy is on par with adoption as far as costs go

Re: For those who ever looked into or considered a surrogate...

I've head anywhere from $60K up to over $100K. Depends on who is doing it... also it's illegal in NY to my knowledge. You can have someone offer to carry for you (Dr. B said a lawyer gets involved and draws up some paperwork) but you can't pay anyone in the state of NY to be a surrogate for you. I believe NJ, CT and MA are all states that it's legal to pay a surrogate. That's all I know about it. Dr. B. mentioned it to me and my face paled... needless to say he quickly said we're "no where" near that point, but that he just wanted to put it out there in case I had someone who had offered...

Re: For those who ever looked into or considered a surrogate...

i was looking into it before and yes its illegal in ny. i think its okay if a sib etc offered and you didnt pay but there are still no legal rights to the bio parents if sib wanted to keep in in ny.
i think nj is legal for all types of surrogacy.
cost wise depends greatly on if you are paying the surrogate etc...but i know over 50k.

Re: For those who ever looked into or considered a surrogate...

I had asked my doctor about it awhile back. It is illegal in New York but my RE works together with one in Connecticut and New Jersey. There are legal issues with birth rights but I heard you can get your name on the birth certificate without going through adoption. There are ways around it with a lawyer. Don't know specifics though but it can be done.

Re: For those who ever looked into or considered a surrogate...

Do you have any close friends or family that would be willing to do it for you? Praying for you!!

Re: For those who ever looked into or considered a surrogate...

Basically, NY State courts haven't clarified the issue regarding "birth mother" and "genetic mother" of which would be the "legal mother" in surrogacy and parenting contracts. My understanding is that if non-compensated then you're not subject to any civil or criminal penalties. Unfortunately, none of NYS' statutes address IVF and NY does not have a pre-birth order. Many clinics work with surrogates via a surrogate agency. I know there is a surrogacy support group/ board on line too. Just google and you'll find it. I'm sure the ladies there are a wealth of information.

Re: For those who ever looked into or considered a surrogate...

I have a friend who has a 9mth old from a surrogate. She lives in NY, her surrogate was from PA and they did the transaction in NJ. She transferred her embys to the facility in NJ. She financed the transaction so she didn't have to pay out all at once. Her name is on the birth certificate and they did some paperwork prior to the birth so she didn't have to go through adoption stuff. I don't know the exact cost, as I felt odd coming out and asking...but I know it range closer to $100k. But, if you already have the embryos, that probably shaves about $15-20k off the price.

But, hopefully you wont have to go there!!!