DH having issues

Hi Girls


I was hoping maybe you can point us in the right direction. I had an m/c over the summer and we are now back to ttc. There is obvioulsy a lot of pressure on both DH and myself because of course we want to get pregnant again as soon as possible.

Dh works 2 jobs and by night time he is exhausted and barely wants to BD. Of course I have my calendar and I tell him when we have to bd. So recently DH has been having issues keeping an erection once we start BD. It is so strange because he can hold and complete and erection if I give oral, or if we do other stuff....but not when we have sex. This is adding even more pressure and stress to the situtation. I feel terrible for him and we can't figure out what it may be.

At first we thought, well maybe it is because we are having sex much more often than normal, or that he feels very stressed that he has to release inside of me in order to make this baby that we want so bad. But like I said he can hold and complete an erection in other ways just not during sex! He goes soft within 2 minutes and can't get it hard again unless I do oral !

He doesnt' have health insurance at the moment, so that is a factor. What I really want to know is what kind of doctor should he see? A regular physician, a urologist ? an RE? I have no idea. It's all very frustrating because he is only 28. This has only started happening this past month. Please let me know if you have experience with this or where you think he should seek help! TIA !

Re: DH having issues

imo it sound psychological... if he can keep it and finish any other time then regular sex...

id start with a urologist though just to be sure

Re: DH having issues

I agree with Ang, it sounds psychological to me too. I would have him see either a urologist or primary care.

Message edited 10/5/2011 9:29:58 AM.

Re: DH having issues

I agree with Ang. This journey is stressful that it will take its toll on you and your husband. Try to talk to him and try not to show him how stressed you are, that will then hopefully rub off on him and in turn things will get better. Edwin and I ran into something similar when we started seeing the RE. Our s e x life went from enjoyable to something that we just HAD to do. We talked about it and little by little it got better. Good luck!

Re: DH having issues

I agree with the other ladies that it sounds like a mental thing. Its a lot of pressure for our DHs to perform on demand...maybe there can be a way to make it less stressful? if you want him to see a specialist I would say either a Urologist or if your RE.

Re: DH having issues

It could be all the pressure...it can be overwhelming to have to "perform". Maybe just talking and let him know that this is a journey.

Re: DH having issues

When my hubby had trouble performing on demand or for iui my dr gave my hubby a few viagra. We used it once and then never needed to again bc dh felt more at ease knowing there was help there if he needed it kwim? Maybe ur dr can do this? I bet its emotional and not physical since he can get erect other ways. Poor dudes can't handle the stress lol. Gl