Need some advice...

so yesterday was my first visit to the RE after being on clomid with my gyn for the last 2 months...we went to RSONY and met with Dr. San Roman who was really funny and nice...well I brought all my test results and he said that everything looked great with both DH and I...he said we have 2 options since we are young and "healthy"...we can do TI with 100 mg of clomid, which is a bump up from the 50 mg I was taking, or we can do IUI...he said based on my LEEP and CRYO procedures on my cervix could be potentially the cause for me to not get pregnant....the RE suggested we go with IUI but would be ok if we did TI...now I am up for the IUI but DH said that we have only been trying for 2 months and we should try one more time with TI before we move to IUI....the RE said he would want to do 6 IUI's before moving to IVF so potentially I could be on clomid for 9 cycles I am so torn...I know DH wants this to happen "naturally" but I tried explaining that we are beyond that point since I have issues...we have a couple of weeks to decide since I am waiting for AF to come and start another cycle of clomid next week...I want this to be our decision but honestly I feel that I am the one with most of the burden...DH is not the one who has to be monitored or take meds or become crazy in the 2 WW its me...can anyone offer me some advice???

Re: Need some advice...

Sorry you are going through this. From what I understand, it is not recommended that a person does not exceed 6 months of clomid. So if the IUI's with Clomid don't work, they can switch you to Femara and/or injections with IUI. I hope this is not the case and you do get your BFP before then.

My husband struggled at first with the idea of moving foward with an IUI, the concept "artificial" was not appealing at all. But I gave him the same argument you did, it would be me going through all the tests, blood work, medication, etc. Eventually he understood and came on board. I think if you continue to talk to him and just assure him that it is still your baby, just a different method of conceiving him/her, he'll come around.

Good luck!!

Re: Need some advice...

I would want to go with the doctor's suggestion, but it is important to have DH on board. I hope you guys figure it out!

Re: Need some advice...

My RE told me TI is a waste of time. I think he's right.

DH and I are totally totally normal and healthy, we've gotten all kinds of testing done, and I've even had a chemical. It's just that when they time everything perfectly and put the boys up where they're supposed to go, it increases your cvhances and reduces your stress a bit.

My husband would not even consider IUI or IVF a year ago. He was not on board. We fought and argued (which is so unlike us) and I had to go see a therapist. She gave me the tools to tell him what I needed and have the patience to wait for him to board the ship. He finally agreed in July.

Do you know what he told his best friend who just started to TTC? "Dude you're 36, give up now. You'll end up where I am anyway" He meant it in the nicest way possible.

I wish you patience, luck, and love!

Re: Need some advice...

My DH wasn't on board with moving forward either....even though its not them going thru all the monitoring and procedures its still a big step to make. A lot of times I think us women are always ready before the men. After talking about it with my DH a few times I decided to wait a few months to try on our own, then for some reason that was all he needed to be on board! I think its important to have ur DH 100% okay with it all. He will be your rock during the ups and downs and if he needs one more month before going to IUI I would do it BUT I wouldn't wait too long...hopefully he will come around

Re: Need some advice...

Thank you guys...I think we are going to have some more conversations and see how we will proceed...I dont want to go ahead with something DH is not comfy with right now but I want to express to him my concerns.

Re: Need some advice...

we were in a similar boat at the beginning of our journey. i wasnt super into IUI and neither was DH. we did a few TI cycles. i got pregnant one time but it was chemical. then i wanted to do IUI and DH still did not. we were told our odds increased 7% with IUI over TI. we were having fun BDing and decided (although i was somewhat reluctant) to stay "natural" with ovulation induction and TI. i was on SOOOO many meds but we kept doing TI. i got pregnant again and again it was chemical. eventually we, together with our RE, decided that IVF was the best route. it was hard for me to let go of any natural part of this journey, but that IVF cycle led to my 4 month old DD. in the end it really didnt matter how we got here. but i wouldn't change anything about the journey.

you have to do what the BOTH of you decide is best. good luck!!

Message edited 10/4/2011 6:24:53 PM.

Re: Need some advice...

Before seeking out an RE I wasted 7 months with an OB who "claimed" to specialize in IF.....

He had us do TI for 7 cycles with Clomid....Needless to say, we finally moved on to an RE (ironically RSOFNY )

What I didn't know about Clomid and TI is that Clomid has a tendency to dry out CM hence making it hard for the swimmers to get where they need to go....They also dont reccomend being on Cloid for more than 12 cycles (because it can eventually thin out the cervix)

We went to Clomid/IUI and I was very fortunate to conceive DS1 on IUI #3...

(DD and DS 2 were IVF and FET)

One month isnt going to kill you to try TI , if your DH feels strongly about it, but if it were me (and I had the insurance) , I'd go for the IUI


Best of luck !!!

Re: Need some advice...

it can be hard for the guys..

i would suggest a good old fashioned talking..explain how yes,we would love to be able to do this naturally..but sometimes it just does not happen that way

explain to him that the biggest enemy against IF is time..

maybe show him on theinternet or on you tube videos of success stories

good luck to you guys

Re: Need some advice...

I think we are going to sitdown and have a heart to heart...so that we can both understand eachothers position and come up with a course of action for both of us. This journey is ours so we both need to be ok with the decision.