its normal to have ZERO hope after a loss right?

hi all. in the 2ww now. i have zero hope for this cycle.

this is my first post loss.
i care but dont care. i wanna drink heavily and smoke dope all day cause it seems if you dont care..thats when you get pg okay not going to of course...but thats how i feel!

just tell me its normal cause i feel like a serious debbie downer! ty v much

Re: its normal to have ZERO hope after a loss right?

i go back and forth... where i think i will never have a successful pregnancy and other times i think im gonna have like 10 kids lol..(i might have to rob a bank at some point for that... lol)

Re: its normal to have ZERO hope after a loss right?

I think it is.

I was drinking wine and smoking cigarettes the other day because I swore I'd never get pregnant again. I also ate tuna fish and shrimp. Joke was on me when I realized I was pregnant.

When I first started trying again I was really cautious just like the way I was the first time around. No smoking, drinking, took it easy with exercise, wouldn't eat seafood or have caffeine but then I realized I did everything right with that pregnancy and I still lost the baby so why was I driving myself crazy this time? I stopped depriving myself and stopped worrying and just did what I wanted and figured I'd give up any vices when I got pregnant. Which I did.

Now that I'm recently pregnant I still don't have much hope. I'm waiting for my second beta result today and feel worried. I'm trying to stay calm but I just can't have a great feeling about it.

I told my husband that I don't know how I'm going to do this. How can I be hopefully and not worry? It feels impossible.

I felt hopeless and still feel hopeless. It sucks.

Message edited 6/20/2011 3:25:18 PM.

Re: its normal to have ZERO hope after a loss right?

I have no hope...I mean some days I am hopeful but really I just feel like something WILL go wrong again. Ugh. I hate this hole I am in, I want to dig out and be positive again.

Re: its normal to have ZERO hope after a loss right?

I know that it's hard to have hope and to be optimistic.. but I have lots of hope and prayers for all of you

Re: its normal to have ZERO hope after a loss right?

This is exactly how I feel. I feel like all hope is gone and infertility/loss is just something that's become a part of my life.

It feels like this is the way it will always be

I was actually tempted to ask Dr.B at my last appt if we could schedule the D&C in advance this time so I could get a morning appointment

I feel like I'm going to go through torture again for no reason. A part of me also feels like I'm being irresponsible trying to get pregnant again since my babies never make it anyway Yea I can go on and on .......