So angry

AF is due Tuesday and I'm breaking out today which is a sure sign she's on her way. And I am SO angry. Not sad. Angry.

I am so sick of this. It just doesn't make sense. Why the heck isn't this happening???? Egg? Check. Sperm? Check. What's the deal?????

I'm so tired of people asking "when are you having another? Aren't you going to have another?" And every time I see a child my son's age, I scan to see if they have little siblings. I'm constantly looking at siblings around me and calculating how far apart they are and then getting upset because I would have to be pregnant by now for them to be that close. I feel like a crazy person.

Sorry for the vent, but I just don't know how to cope anymore. And I'm sorry to those of you that have been dealing with this for so much longer than me (it's been 13 months for me). My heart goes out to you.

I just keep feeling so defective.

Re: So angry

I know it's not what you want to hear, but AF isn't here yet....did you test yet or is it still too early? Breaking out means nothing. AF & pregnancy have almost identical symptoms!

On another note. I know exactly how you feel. For some reason, I think when you have 1 DC already, the need to give them a sibling is something that really weighs on you. It's that not only do you want another child, you don't want the one you have to be alone.

All I can say is don't give up, it will happen! Try to stay positive!!

Re: So angry

Re: So angry

Thanks for the support, ladies. It helps to know I'm not the only one feeling this way!

No, I didn't have trouble with DS. We were "not not trying" for 9 months. I wasn't even paying attention to my cycle. I always kept a journal of my period, and when I looked back, out of the 9 months we didn't use birth control, we only BD'd TWICE when I was ovulating and one of those times I conceived. I just don't get it!

Anyway, I'm here for you ladies, too!!! And thanks again!

Message edited 6/10/2011 8:32:54 PM.

Re: So angry

I know how you feel. We got pregnant with my son on the 2nd cycle, so i assumed it would be that easy with #2. It wasn't. I had hoped to have them 3 years apart and i was getting frustrated that it wasn't happening that way.

Then you get everyone asking when you're next is coming and my response has always been "when that stick gives me two lines." And then everyone else around was announcing their pregnancy and i kept staring at blank sticks. And many times with those who announced pregnancies, i thought "but my kid is older. It should be me first."

So i know how you feel as well. I wasn't trying as long as you, but i completely get it.

Have you been to an RE?

Re: So angry

Thanks and

Yes, I started going to an RE in April. We did timed intercourse the past two cycles with Clomid and a trigger shot. Next cycle will be IUI.

Thanks again for the support. It means so much!!!