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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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2 years today
Today marks the 2nd anniversary of my mom's death. I can remember every detail of her last moments.
My sister and I had spent the night at the hospice facility... the nurses had been telling us the end was near for a few days, and mom hadn't opened her eyes or made a sound in 2 days. It was about 8:30 when the nurses said she was stable for the moment but they thought it would be a good idea for us to have my brother come up today, they said no rush but come soon. I passed the message on to my brother who had a work meeting and I told him to come up after his meeting. My sister took a shower, I did some school work on my laptop. The sister came in and said some prayers. Just then my aunt barged in, in tears. My aunt and mother had worked together, and my aunt being at work felt something was going to happen and she neededd to come here immediately to say something to my mom. This was her SIL. She said something along the lines of promising to always look out for us (the kids). Just then moms breathing became very labored. The nurse said, this is it... where is Jimmy? It was around 8:45. I texted my brother and said get here now! My sister and I each held one of her hands, said we loved her, it was ok to go, etc. The time between breaths got longer and longer. Just when we would think, its over, another shallow breath would come. It was a horrible sound that I will never forget. I kept sneaking text to my brother...hurry! Our favorite nurse was there with us also. Then at 9 am, mom took her last breath. I looked at my sister, both relieved it was over and at the same time thinking this can't be real... a minute later my brother walks in. Its been 2 yrs and I've felt guilty about this since then. My mom wanted her 3 kids with her and she made this known to everyone... I should have told my brother to skip work and to come in asap. If there was anything that was keeping my mom here, it was my brother. He was 23 at the time,but very much like a 14 yr old. He had never done his own laundry, cooked his own food, nothing! My mom babied him and he was one of those guys who never grew up. Since we lost mom, I "adopted" my brother and followed strict instructions my mom left me for him... he gets to stay him her house for at least a year, all home expenses taken care of, etc. I am proud to say that 2 yrs later, jim now lives on his own and is successfully back in college. I know this sounds stupid, but my mom would be really really proud. My mom now has 3 new granchildren she never had a chance to meet, and so much good happening with her kids and grandchildren. She would have been so happy, and I feel like my kids were cheated out of the best most fun grandmother ever.
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Posted 5/29/11 9:08 AM  |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: 2 years today
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| Posted 5/29/11 10:44 AM |
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BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here
Member since 5/07 8274 total posts
Name:
BunnyWife
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Re: 2 years today
God bless you and your family. I know your mom is smiling down on you
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| Posted 5/29/11 12:08 PM |
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mrsdukes
LIF Adult
Member since 1/09 943 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: 2 years today
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| Posted 5/29/11 9:13 PM |
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Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!
Member since 9/05 7919 total posts
Name:
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Re: 2 years today
Jul, I honesltly think she waited for Jim to NOT be there. Think of how much time we were all there for days, saying "what is she waiting for?"
She knew we could handle it. I truly believe that she chose that moment. Dont feel guilty about it - there was nothing you could have done differently.
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| Posted 5/30/11 10:43 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: 2 years today
Oh Julie, thank you for sharing. I am so sorry for your loss but please, don't bear the burden of your brother not being there. It's not your fault at all. Please let go of that guilt and forgive yourself. Your mom would want you to, I'm sure. You girls are so strong and your mom would be so proud of all of her children! She is with her grandbabies every moment of their lives! So many hugs to you guys!!!!! 
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| Posted 5/30/11 11:37 AM |
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AidansArmy
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 1292 total posts
Name:
Suzanne
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Re: 2 years today
So sorry for your loss. We experienced the very same thing with my father in September. My brother missed it by minutes. I'm not sure he will ever get over it. I tell him sometimes I secretly wish it was me that wasn't there. Watching those final breaths was torture and I replay it over and over again.
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| Posted 5/31/11 10:51 AM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: 2 years today
wow...i can't believe it is 2 years 
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| Posted 6/1/11 4:31 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: 2 years today
You are so brave and your mother would be so proud of you and your siblings!! Lots of good things for you guys!
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| Posted 6/1/11 6:45 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: 2 years today
Oh Julie
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| Posted 6/3/11 10:48 AM |
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LI-Joy
Member since 10/07 2910 total posts
Name:
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Re: 2 years today
I'm so sorry. I know its so hard. I'm going on 24 years (I was 19) that my mom passed away. Although with time it gets easier to handle, the sadness never goes away. You've done alot to make your Mom proud. She is watching you from above.
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| Posted 6/4/11 8:52 PM |
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Re: 2 years today
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| Posted 6/4/11 11:57 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: 2 years today
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| Posted 6/6/11 10:10 PM |
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LDrinkh20
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1820 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: 2 years today
Wow..I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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| Posted 6/15/11 9:43 PM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: 2 years today
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| Posted 6/20/11 9:02 PM |
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