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MrsBurtch525
Year for change!
Member since 1/09 6017 total posts
Name:
Taryn
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so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....UPDATED
My MIL emailed my aunt (who raised me) and asked baout a shower. My aunt was unde the impression i wasn't having one since i had one with DD, everyone she brought it up to didn't agree with a 2nd shower, they said something along the lines of "one shower for all babies". SIL is also pregnant with her first baby due 6 weeks after me so she will have a shower and then MIL's father has stage 4 brain cancer and doesn't have long left (we will be lucky if he makes it to see my DS and SIL's baby). My family doesnt really agree with a 2nd shower, i emailed MIl and told her we shouldn;'t do a shower for this baby and concentrate on SIL's shower and things with her father. I told her i have a small Amazon registry if anyone wants to get something for the baby. Im a little bummed, i was looking forward to having one but maybe it's for the best.
UPDATE:
SIL moved into her new house Saturday and afterwards MIL pulled me aside, apparatly she had spoken with her mother and her 5 sisters as well and they all thought it wasn't right to not do anything and all wanted to do a little something for me because they all had "sprinkles" with kids after their first and felt i should too so apparantly they are planning a little "sprinkle" for June 25th, It will be just that side of the family, not mine since they do not agree with "sprinkles" after the first baby which is fine. It touched me that they took the initative to set this up, it will be nice to get everyone together. My aunt said if anyone asks about getting anything for the baby she will direct them to my Amazon registry. So nice of them to do this for me....
Message edited 5/11/2011 9:42:06 AM.
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Posted 5/4/11 4:10 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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kelkel09
Love my twins!!!
Member since 6/10 5183 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
i am sorry! could your MIL still do a small gathering with her family?
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| Posted 5/4/11 5:04 PM |
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Nayia
<3 <3 <3
Member since 10/07 1824 total posts
Name:
Penny
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
aww Im so sorry!!! u never know they might still surprise you with something really small.
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| Posted 5/4/11 8:55 PM |
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EckoRed81504
We are complete <3
Member since 12/07 6299 total posts
Name:
April
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
I have to agree with your aunt. You just had your dd in 09 (I think) and it's not a long time between pregnancies. Had it been a few years between kids-and you were out of the loop with baby things, I could understand a sprinkle but they will be just about 2 years apart.
For myself, I had dd Dec 09 and I'm due in June and wouldn't even think to have anything. How many gifts can someone expect from the same people-especially when they just gave you one 2 years ago.
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| Posted 5/5/11 8:23 AM |
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MrsBurtch525
Year for change!
Member since 1/09 6017 total posts
Name:
Taryn
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
Posted by EckoRed81504
I have to agree with your aunt. You just had your dd in 09 (I think) and it's not a long time between pregnancies. Had it been a few years between kids-and you were out of the loop with baby things, I could understand a sprinkle but they will be just about 2 years apart.
For myself, I had dd Dec 09 and I'm due in June and wouldn't even think to have anything. How many gifts can someone expect from the same people-especially when they just gave you one 2 years ago.
If i were having a girl, i wouldn't have asked or wanted a shower, we are having a boy this time around and i never asked for a shower with this one either. MIL said she had one with all her kids and her mother said she had one with all 7 of hers. Most of my stuff was recalled after DD but i went through craigslist and replaced it all. My registry only had about 30 items on it. I never asked nor planned a shower so when MIl asked if i wanted one i took the hint that she didn't want to do one and told her not to worry about even though we probably will not be able to afford to get anything for the baby, thankfully people have been nice and passed along some nice boy clothes.
It is not about the gifts, i see a baby shower as a celebration of the baby not just to receieve gifts, i could care less if gifts were there, it would have been nice to get the family together and have a get together and celebrate the little boy that is coming into this family like we did with DD. A friend of mine just had a baby shower for the little boy she is about to have 18 months after she just had a little boy, that i can see as being too much. I don't expect gifts, i just wanted to celebrate the birth of this baby with family and friends.
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| Posted 5/5/11 8:40 AM |
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LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
Posted by EckoRed81504
I have to agree with your aunt. You just had your dd in 09 (I think) and it's not a long time between pregnancies. Had it been a few years between kids-and you were out of the loop with baby things, I could understand a sprinkle but they will be just about 2 years apart.
For myself, I had dd Dec 09 and I'm due in June and wouldn't even think to have anything. How many gifts can someone expect from the same people-especially when they just gave you one 2 years ago.
I agree with you, I would celebrate after the baby is born and I am sure people will give diapers or gift cards or whatever, I would feel funny if someone threw another shower for me for the 2nd baby if the kids were that close age wise, gifts or no gifts. I registered for all neutral stuff in case the next ones a boy....
Just my opinion, I am sure some people think they should be for every child, I personally do not unless they are a born a good number of years apart.
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| Posted 5/5/11 8:47 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
I never have a problem with sprinkles, it's a party to celebrate a baby, who care?
I didn't/won't have one for myself, but I never mind going and I also never think of it as people hitting me up for "another" gift. It's about the excitement of a new baby. I can understand why you are bummed!
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| Posted 5/5/11 8:52 AM |
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jax1
Love my baby girl!!!
Member since 3/09 3405 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
I'm sorry!
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| Posted 5/5/11 9:06 AM |
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EckoRed81504
We are complete <3
Member since 12/07 6299 total posts
Name:
April
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
Posted by MrsBurtch525
Posted by EckoRed81504
I have to agree with your aunt. You just had your dd in 09 (I think) and it's not a long time between pregnancies. Had it been a few years between kids-and you were out of the loop with baby things, I could understand a sprinkle but they will be just about 2 years apart.
For myself, I had dd Dec 09 and I'm due in June and wouldn't even think to have anything. How many gifts can someone expect from the same people-especially when they just gave you one 2 years ago.
If i were having a girl, i wouldn't have asked or wanted a shower, we are having a boy this time around and i never asked for a shower with this one either. MIL said she had one with all her kids and her mother said she had one with all 7 of hers. Most of my stuff was recalled after DD but i went through craigslist and replaced it all. My registry only had about 30 items on it. I never asked nor planned a shower so when MIl asked if i wanted one i took the hint that she didn't want to do one and told her not to worry about even though we probably will not be able to afford to get anything for the baby, thankfully people have been nice and passed along some nice boy clothes.
It is not about the gifts, i see a baby shower as a celebration of the baby not just to receieve gifts, i could care less if gifts were there, it would have been nice to get the family together and have a get together and celebrate the little boy that is coming into this family like we did with DD. A friend of mine just had a baby shower for the little boy she is about to have 18 months after she just had a little boy, that i can see as being too much. I don't expect gifts, i just wanted to celebrate the birth of this baby with family and friends.
I see where you're coming from, but I still agree with your aunt about not having anything. Even if your mil had one for every kid and her mother did as well, that was (I'm assuming) well over 30 years ago. Things have changed. We're too are having a boy this time around but when I was pregnant with dd we bought all neutral stuff for the purpose of when we have more kids, I didn't have to worry about buying "boy" stuff. If there is still more stuff that you need, look into the free stuff on Craigslist, or get things little by little.
If you want to celebrate with your family and friends then do it. Just have a gtg at your house. Nobody is stopping you from doing that. I think the words "shower or sprinkle" will turn people off (like your aunt). If you just saying I'm having a few people over before the baby comes, people will be more inclined to come without feeling obligated to bring something.
You have me a little confused though. You said when your mil asked you if you wanted a shower, you took the hint that she didn't want to do one? But you were going to have one anyway? So is your mil relieved you're not having anything or wishes you would?
If you don't want the gifts, then just have everyone over. Everyone loves a good celebration.
ETA: Congrats on the baby. Babies are very celebration worthy.
Message edited 5/5/2011 9:13:08 AM.
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| Posted 5/5/11 9:07 AM |
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buttercup
St. Jude pray for us...
Member since 1/11 2951 total posts
Name:
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
 I'm sorry.. it was very selfless of you do this and plan one for SIL
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| Posted 5/5/11 9:18 AM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
Posted by EckoRed81504
I have to agree with your aunt. You just had your dd in 09 (I think) and it's not a long time between pregnancies. Had it been a few years between kids-and you were out of the loop with baby things, I could understand a sprinkle but they will be just about 2 years apart.
For myself, I had dd Dec 09 and I'm due in June and wouldn't even think to have anything. How many gifts can someone expect from the same people-especially when they just gave you one 2 years ago.
ITA with this.
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| Posted 5/5/11 9:31 AM |
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memi7206
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2355 total posts
Name:
Due Dec 29th!!!!!
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
I dont see why she needs to be debriefed on the "etiquette" of a sprinkle....she was having one, was excited about it, it was cancelled and now she is bummed.
Just bc you dont think a sprinkle is appropriate, doesnt mean everyone does and she is in need of a lecture about it.
Im sorry youre not getting your sprinkle. Like a PP mentioned, get everyone together after the birth!
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| Posted 5/5/11 9:37 AM |
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MrsBurtch525
Year for change!
Member since 1/09 6017 total posts
Name:
Taryn
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
Posted by memi7206
I dont see why she needs to be debriefed on the "etiquette" of a sprinkle....she was having one, was excited about it, it was cancelled and now she is bummed.
Just bc you dont think a sprinkle is appropriate, doesnt mean everyone does and she is in need of a lecture about it.
Im sorry youre not getting your sprinkle. Like a PP mentioned, get everyone together after the birth!
Thank you, that is exactly how i felt. I was just excited to get everyone together and celebrate the little boy that is coming. We are hoping to have a little get together before the baby comes, there are still family that haven't seen our new house and we have been here over a year now!
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| Posted 5/5/11 9:43 AM |
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EckoRed81504
We are complete <3
Member since 12/07 6299 total posts
Name:
April
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
Posted by MrsBurtch525
Posted by memi7206
I dont see why she needs to be debriefed on the "etiquette" of a sprinkle....she was having one, was excited about it, it was cancelled and now she is bummed.
Just bc you dont think a sprinkle is appropriate, doesnt mean everyone does and she is in need of a lecture about it.
Im sorry youre not getting your sprinkle. Like a PP mentioned, get everyone together after the birth!
Thank you, that is exactly how i felt. I was just excited to get everyone together and celebrate the little boy that is coming. We are hoping to have a little get together before the baby comes, there are still family that haven't seen our new house and we have been here over a year now!
I wasn't saying not to be bummed that you weren't having one-nobody likes to be excited about something and then be let down. I was just saying that I agreed with her aunt about not having one.
I also did suggest having everyone over to get together before the baby comes (or after) to celebrate-so I don't get where the lecture came in? She said it's not about the gifts so why not just have everyone over?
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| Posted 5/5/11 9:51 AM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
Posted by CrankyPants
I never have a problem with sprinkles, it's a party to celebrate a baby, who care?
I didn't/won't have one for myself, but I never mind going and I also never think of it as people hitting me up for "another" gift. It's about the excitement of a new baby. I can understand why you are bummed!
ITA. If one of my friends had a sprinkle I would go in a heartbeat. I see no harm in them. Sprinkles are intimate and fun. Now, am I having one? No idea, nor do I really care to be honest b/c I don't really need anything but I will say I've had many of my friends ask me if I am having one and when I said no, they were bummed.
This debate always happens on this board though.
I'm sorry you are bummed but plenty of people will be there to celebrate after he is here! 
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| Posted 5/5/11 9:56 AM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
Posted by EckoRed81504
I think the words "shower or sprinkle" will turn people off
I agree with what April said, but mostly this line. If you want to celebrate the baby, just have a party but leave out the words sprinkle.
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| Posted 5/5/11 10:11 AM |
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EckoRed81504
We are complete <3
Member since 12/07 6299 total posts
Name:
April
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
Posted by LightUpOurLife
Posted by EckoRed81504
I think the words "shower or sprinkle" will turn people off
I agree with what April said, but mostly this line. If you want to celebrate the baby, just have a party but leave out the words sprinkle.
Exactly what I mean.
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| Posted 5/5/11 10:15 AM |
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maybemommy10
Big Brothers to Be !
Member since 2/10 3868 total posts
Name:
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
I have said this before in response to these types of posts on here. But *my opinion* is, I like babies, I like parties, I am going to give a gift anyway, might as well get a free sandwich and some punch ! To me every single birth is a miracle and every mom (1st time or 9th time) deserves to be celebrated.
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| Posted 5/5/11 10:33 AM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....
I'm sorry you cancelled. I'm in the same boat and I feel very strange, b/c my mom and DH's aunt both asked about a sprinkle for me. I always thought it was a no-no, but they have many people asking them for one. I thought my mom would say never, but I guess it's a nice way to get together and since people are asking her for one, she is on board.
(although this is my third child - 6 years after my first - different gender)
What about a fourth of July BBQ sprinkle?
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| Posted 5/5/11 4:00 PM |
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MrsBurtch525
Year for change!
Member since 1/09 6017 total posts
Name:
Taryn
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....UPDATED
bump for update
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| Posted 5/11/11 9:40 AM |
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kelkel09
Love my twins!!!
Member since 6/10 5183 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....UPDATED
that's great! I had a feeling MIL would still do a little something with just her side. Glad she is doing that for you!!
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| Posted 5/11/11 9:42 AM |
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Tiggeruth
I am a mom :-)
Member since 6/06 3433 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....UPDATED
that is really sweet and nice of them to do something for you
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| Posted 5/11/11 9:45 AM |
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blustar214
So in love with my little girl
Member since 1/10 2471 total posts
Name:
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....UPDATED
Such a great update! So nice of your MIL to oganize everything!!
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| Posted 5/11/11 10:07 AM |
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Nayia
<3 <3 <3
Member since 10/07 1824 total posts
Name:
Penny
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....UPDATED
awwwww see I told u they might still plan something. Thats great news!!
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| Posted 5/11/11 10:12 AM |
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TripMom2B
LIF Infant
Member since 3/11 143 total posts
Name:
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Re: so i just cancelled my "sprinkle"....UPDATED
That is so sweet.
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| Posted 5/11/11 10:31 AM |
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