Having a super sad day

Next month it will be 2 years (and 3 losses) since we started TTC. This was our first month trying again after consulting with Dr. B and for some reason I had high hopes. Last night I took a test and of course BFN. AF is due any MINUTE now and I'm feeling so sad about it. Dr. B told us to just "have fun" and call him when I'm pregnant but NOTHING about this is fun anymore. It stopped being fun a long time ago.

Sorry for the vent and the whining. I just have to get this out and I know you girls will understand. i'm sitting at work SO unable to concentrate on anything else. Any hugs you can send to get me through my terrible mood today would be awesome.

Re: Having a super sad day

I am sorry you are having a bad day. I am not sure about your history but I do hope that there is a plan other than "Just have fun".

Re: Having a super sad day

i am so sorry you feel down was it a medicated cycle? at how many dpo did you take the test?

Re: Having a super sad day

Posted by RGEC47

I am sorry you are having a bad day. I am not sure about your history but I do hope that there is a plan other than "Just have fun".

Re: Having a super sad day

Posted by curiousO

i am so sorry you feel down was it a medicated cycle? at how many dpo did you take the test?

Re: Having a super sad day

Posted by keepingsecrets

Posted by RGEC47

I am sorry you are having a bad day. I am not sure about your history but I do hope that there is a plan other than "Just have fun".

Thanks for the hugs Yeah, that is the frustrating part. That pretty much is the plan. Dr. B did a TON of testing and the only thing that came back is a slight clotting issue for which I'm on baby aspirin and insulin resistance for which I'm on Metformin. Other than that, literally he said to "have fun". I totally trust Dr. B but it is frustrating to know that this is our plan. He did say that if nothing happens in the next couple of months then we can discuss being more aggressive but a couple of months seems a lifetime away Since I have been able to get pregnant I guess there is no need for anything more aggressive right now. Ugghh.

Message edited 3/22/2011 3:44:15 PM.

Re: Having a super sad day

I agree with pp, I would request a more aggressive treatment. RE's start treating patients after a year, and you are now on almost 2, so it should not be a surprise that you want a more aggressive treatment. Also, you should go for a 2nd opinion, there are many wonderful RE's out there and one that will hopefully give you better advice than just have fun. Good luck!

Re: Having a super sad day

i'm so sorry

i agree that after 2 years (we are over 2 years now) it's just not fun anymore!

if you want to be more aggressive and increase your chances, talk to him about doing medicated cycles and maybe IUIs. that will increase your chances each cycle. you would produce several eggs each cycle which would increase your odds that one will stick.

i'm sorry to say, i would not be able to just wait it out if i was in your shoes. i would want a more aggressive approach at this point. you have been through enough.

Re: Having a super sad day

you girls are the best i'm sorry, i didn't go into the whole story.....i don't have IF per se. i've been pregnant 3 times since 2009.....the first the baby had severe abnormalities and we had to terminate for medical reasons at 12 weeks , the second was an ectopic where i lost my right tube, and the 3rd was a chemical.

so.....in Dr. B's mind.....we actually only had one miscarriage (the chemical) and i can obviously get pregnant. he believes it could just be bad luck (like the WORST ever) or it could have to do with the insulin issue which is being treated.

he said that he'd get as aggressive as we want and trust me, i'm about ready to ask him to start IUI's but then i second guess myself because in the past i have gotten pregnant so it seems irrational. sigh. this is why i feel so confused and sad. i'm so not a typical case. yes, i don't have IF, but then again, who the heck has "luck" this bad.

Re: Having a super sad day

i totally understand where you are coming from. you need to do what you are comfortable with. meds can help you ovulate on both sides each month to increase your chances to where they would normally be if you had both tubes. i am guessing you ovulated on your good side this month? you may want to consider this for next month.



i'm so sorry for your losses. i think we all kind of feel like we are on a long string of bad luck.

Re: Having a super sad day

Hmm, that's odd that he didn't put you on meds. I had only been trying for 3 months after my lap. and he put me right on meds (my regular GYN was going to do this also and this is pretty much the norm). Then he left it up to me if I wanted to do iui also. I have a totally different issue though. Never been pregnant and have endometriosis. I would ask if you could do meds at least. Good luck!

Re: Having a super sad day

Posted by bringonthebaby

Hmm, that's odd that he didn't put you on meds. I had only been trying for 3 months after my lap. and he put me right on meds (my regular GYN was going to do this also and this is pretty much the norm). Then he left it up to me if I wanted to do iui also. I have a totally different issue though. Never been pregnant and have endometriosis. I would ask if you could do meds at least. Good luck!

Re: Having a super sad day

Posted by BlueDiamonds

i totally understand where you are coming from. you need to do what you are comfortable with. meds can help you ovulate on both sides each month to increase your chances to where they would normally be if you had both tubes. i am guessing you ovulated on your good side this month? you may want to consider this for next month.



i'm so sorry for your losses. i think we all kind of feel like we are on a long string of bad luck.

Re: Having a super sad day

Posted by keepingsecrets

Posted by bringonthebaby

Hmm, that's odd that he didn't put you on meds. I had only been trying for 3 months after my lap. and he put me right on meds (my regular GYN was going to do this also and this is pretty much the norm). Then he left it up to me if I wanted to do iui also. I have a totally different issue though. Never been pregnant and have endometriosis. I would ask if you could do meds at least. Good luck!

thanks do you mind me asking what meds you are on? are they meds to help with ovulation?

Message edited 3/22/2011 5:02:33 PM.

Re: Having a super sad day

Posted by bringonthebaby

Posted by keepingsecrets

Posted by bringonthebaby

Hmm, that's odd that he didn't put you on meds. I had only been trying for 3 months after my lap. and he put me right on meds (my regular GYN was going to do this also and this is pretty much the norm). Then he left it up to me if I wanted to do iui also. I have a totally different issue though. Never been pregnant and have endometriosis. I would ask if you could do meds at least. Good luck!

thanks do you mind me asking what meds you are on? are they meds to help with ovulation?

Yes, clomid. They started me on 100mg (typical), but I had a 40mm cyst by CD10 so it was way too much. Then they lowered it to 50mg and I had a 25 and 24mm follie on CD10. Apparently I respond well to meds

He prefers Femara which does the same thing. My insurance just didn't cover it. It's better b/c it doesnt thin your lining like clomid. I also did ovidrel/trigger shot to guarantee ovulation although I feel O pains every month and I'm pretty sure I O on my own. They just wanted to guarantee everything is in the right place at the right time.

They never ran a workup on me which I thought was weird. Even after I had a chemical last month, he said it could just be a fluke and to wait and see if I have another before having further testing. I'm going to do the workup anyway b/c I don't want to chance another chemical.

ETA- I feel like a pita too when I call or email, but that's what they are there for.

Also, no one ever checked my follies without meds, not Dr. B, not my regular OBGYN. I found this nweird since I'm very regular and seem to O on my own. Like dont they want to know if my follies are normal on my own before meds. I'm impatient though so I took the meds

Re: Having a super sad day

thank you for sharing this. i'm such a baby when it comes to meds. i'm so scared of everything is there any adverse side effects to taking femara or clomid? did it hurt when your follicles got that big? did that mean you couldn't try that cycle? i guess because i've always O'd on my own, i didn't think meds were an option for me. but maybe they are? thanks SO much for answering all my questions


Yes, the 40mm hurt like heck! But I proceeded b/c I also had a 17mm that month. I didnt get pregnant that month though. Clomid can give you hot flashes, but I never got them. It just made me pmsy at the end of the 5 days. From what I hear, Femara doesn't have as bad side effects as Clomid. I'll be moving to Femara next cycle. He said there is a better pregnancy rate with Femara.

Re: Having a super sad day

I am so sorry.

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Re: Having a super sad day

i would def insist on more agressive approach ( IUI). I am sure dr B will be open to it once you communicate your desire to him