opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

My mom smokes and is always saying she is going to quit and in all honesty she doenst smoke that much maybe a 1/2 pack a day ( not thast its good at all) but we went to a child care classs the other night and it was saying that being in a smokers house increases SIDS by 2.5 times. Now my Dh said he is tellig my mom either she quits by december or she is not watching the baby on fridays. Thats when i go back to work december so she has til then. Is he being unreasonable? i mean i want her to quit more than anyone but i also know you cant force anyone until they are ready and is giving an ultimatium goign to make her stop???

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

I think its fair enough! I think here in the UK there is an 84% higher rate of SIDS in homes of smokers than in non smokers. I think that the baby should be a catalyst for her to stop smoking.

Thats my two cents!

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

In my experience giving someone an ultimatum to stop doesn't always work -- I think it all has to be in how you present it to her. If yuo go in there armed with the statistics and information -- and say it from a caring point of view, that not only will it be better for her immediate health, but you'd like to see her around to see the baby grow -- that might make more of an impact then just giving her an ultimatum.

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

thanks girls. You are right its all about approach in this case.

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

Not true. When a smoker comes back in the carcinogen is on their clothes, hands, & breath.

Here's some info from the Mayo Clinic:

Children's health threats from secondhand smoke
Secondhand smoke has a marked effect on the health of infants and children. They're more vulnerable than adults because they're still developing physically and generally have higher breathing rates, which means they may inhale greater quantities of secondhand smoke than do adults.

For children who live in households where someone smokes, the effects are worst during the child's first five years, since the child may spend the bulk of that time with a smoking parent or guardian. Ironically, infants are at the highest risk of secondhand smoke from their own mothers. A child who spends just one hour in a very smoky room is inhaling as many dangerous chemicals as if he or she smoked 10 or more cigarettes.

Here's a look at some of the main health problems in infants and children associated with secondhand smoke.

Growth and development
Women who are exposed to secondhand smoke during pregnancy are at higher risk of having babies of slightly lower birth weight. This can cause a host of health problems for the baby, such as cerebral palsy or learning disabilities. Women who actively smoke during pregnancy expose their developing baby to passive smoke — the chemicals may pass through the placenta — and put them at risk of lower birth weight. Scientists are studying the link between secondhand smoke and growth delays and congenital malformations.

A developing fetus exposed to secondhand smoke may also be at an increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). But evidence that post-birth exposure to secondhand smoke increases the risk of SIDS is inconclusive.

Asthma and other respiratory problems
Secondhand smoke may cause asthma in children. In children who already have asthma, secondhand smoke can make episodes more frequent and more severe.

Secondhand smoke is also tied to lower respiratory infections, such as bronchitis and pneumonia, especially in those younger than 6. It's also associated with irritation of the upper respiratory tract and a small reduction in lung function.

Middle ear conditions
Children living in households with smokers are more likely to have a buildup of fluid in their middle ear, which is an indication of chronic middle ear disease (otitis media).

Source

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

Honestly - I think that is so harsh to say to your Mom. I would never do that to my mother. My Mother smokes too and I would love her to quit. She has cut back a lot. My Mom lives with us and ever since I was pregnant with Ryan she hasn't smoked in the house. She never smokes in the House and she won't smoke around Ryan - even outside. My Mom would love to quit and I'm sure your Mom would like to too but it's not that easy.

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

I just read something on this the other day. MY MIL smokes so much and you go in her house for 5 minutes and you REAK of of smoke. Im so scared to take my boys over tehre when they are born. I know she will NOT smoke outside...it is her house, but she will move to another room, but you still can smell it

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

She will smoke outside in the back when the baby is over but the smell is in her house already and will take quite a long time to get out. She is not goign to to goutside when the baby isnt there so it will still smell like smoke.We are going to tell her she can still watch the baby but she will have to come here thats all.

As far as helping her quit.. she is soo stuborn she says that the patch an all that stuff raises your blood preasure and she is already on meds for that ( like smoking helps that anyway UGH) anyway so she says she isnt going on the patch b/c it will raise her BP ok so have good blood preasure but get cancer????

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

My FIL had whatever surgery it is where the take a vein from your leg & put it in your heart. That new section is now completely clogged. His cardiologist said it was the smoking.

For me, it was an issue because Joseph was born at 34 weeks. Preemies have a hard enough time with lung issues. For others, it may not be a big deal. I've done a lot of research on SIDS. For me, I wasn't taking any chances.

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

I would feel the same way as your DH and I would not let my child stay in a smoker's home. I had a hard enough time letting my dad touch her because he smoked. I made him smoke outside and wash his hands all day when he came to visit.

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

Give her the facts and let her know that she cannot smoke when she has the baby. Period. I wouldnt bring the baby to her house if she smokes in the house though. My Dad smokes and he knows I will never bring Katie to his house. When he's at my house he smokes outside only and never around Katie.

Just ask yourself - is it worth the risk of your baby possibly dying from SIDS?

I'm sure your Mom can give up one day of smoking to see her grandbaby.

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

Luckily, nobody on either side that watches Christopher smokes. If they did though, I would have huge issues and while I wouldn't force them to quit, I wouldn't let them watch him if they did. It's one thing to not care about their own health, but I'm not going to let them harm my child's health and that's that.

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

Posted by Diane

I just read something on this the other day. MY MIL smokes so much and you go in her house for 5 minutes and you REAK of of smoke. Im so scared to take my boys over tehre when they are born. I know she will NOT smoke outside...it is her house, but she will move to another room, but you still can smell it

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

Posted by 04bride

She will smoke outside in the back when the baby is over but the smell is in her house already and will take quite a long time to get out. She is not goign to to goutside when the baby isnt there so it will still smell like smoke.We are going to tell her she can still watch the baby but she will have to come here thats all.

As far as helping her quit.. she is soo stuborn she says that the patch an all that stuff raises your blood preasure and she is already on meds for that ( like smoking helps that anyway UGH) anyway so she says she isnt going on the patch b/c it will raise her BP ok so have good blood preasure but get cancer????

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

I understand it is hard to quit...I did it 6 years ago and DH quit cold turkey when I got pregnant. But you are the protector of this child. You are his/her advocate. You are his/her voice.

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

I think that he is being harsh as well. I'm guessing that the increased risk of her spending one day a week in the house is no worse than putting in crib bumpers which lots of people here do.

I trust that your mom wouldn't actually smoke in the same area as the baby, so we are talking only about exposure to whats left on her clothes, etc for 1/20 of the week. The study was assuming the baby spending all the time around smokers. Even with being in a smokers house full time, 2.5 times the risk means a probability that 2 out of 1000 babies would have an issue (998 would be just fine!).

I think your hubby may seriously alienate your mom, which you'll regret down the line. I'm guessing she's babysitting for free? I'd rather the slight risk to have the baby with someone loving that I trust instead of a stranger! (Is a stranger 2.5 times more likely to be negligent than your mother? I'd guess so.)

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

My mom smokes in her house and i HATE it!
My dd is a little older now, but i still hate it.

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

I do not allow Molly to go into smoker's homes or in their cars. I made an except for Scott's father (who I have met 3x and who met Molly once) and that will NEVER happen again. Scott agrees. Her eyes were red and she was coughing. My FIL did NOT smoke while we were in the house but the stench and smoke was everywhere. We had to strip her and give her a bath, wash all of our jackets, take showers etc...Never.ever.again. Her health is more important that anyone's feelings.
My mom smokes but never in my presence. Molly will not be at her home or in her car. It is sad but again, my daughter's health means more to me and is the #1 priority.

Also, make sure ANY smoker washes their hands before holding your baby or feeding them. Everyone should do that for an infant but I require that even at 2.5years old.

About babysitting...I would not allow it. JMO, but your baby would not be with a stranger. She/he would be with someone you chose- you are not leaving the baby at the bus stop.

Message edited 7/12/2006 1:43:08 PM.

Re: opinions on this please.. Re: Smoking

i am leabving her 4 days a week with a babysitterw ho i snot starnger she is a fmaily friuend and she doenst SMOKE. I would of course love for er to spend time at grandmas and growe liking goign there my mom already has a room for her an all.

My mom is not like that in teh sense that my Dh will cause a big fight by saying this to her my mom is not like that. she is morte the type to say i know i know youare right but its hard to quit and so on. We'll see what happens illkeep you posted