Please tell me I'm being ridiculous UPDATED

We've had DD's name picked out since mid-December. I have only shared with a few people though on the offchance that we will change our minds ... I don't want anyone giving us anything personalized with a name maybe we decide not to use ... and plus I just feel funny. I've told a few people here and there but unfortunately I don't remember whether I've explicitly told them to keep it quiet.

I found out today that my mom told MIL when they were discussing my shower. I hadn't told MIL yet. So I said, "Gee, I hope she's not upset." And my mom said "No, just surprised." Which I'M SURE means she is upset but she doesn't want to make a fuss out of it.

So I asked my mother who else she told ... and she gave me a literal LIST of people. Aunts, uncles, cousins, co-workers ... I haven't told ANY of these people. I just feel sort of deflated and upset about it. I mean, if I didn't make her sign a confidentiality agreement I can't be upset, right? I know she's just excited ... but I feel like it's MY info to share, when I want to ...

Am I being stupid? I feel like I am. I don't want to make a big thing out of it but I just feel sad about it.

UPDATE:

Thanks so much girls. I was so upset about this earlier I sat at my desk crying, wondering whether I was justified in being upset at all.

I spoke with my mom and basically told her that while I know she meant no harm and that she's just excited, we would prefer it from now on if she would assume that whatever we tell her about the baby (and us in general) is not common knowledge. That way, we can avoid similar situations in the future. We feel so terribly that MIL found out this way and we are planning to call her tonight to talk it out and hope she is understanding (she generally is). She seemed very receptive and understood that maybe she shouldn't have shared with everyone, despite me not explicitly telling her "don't tell anyone."

My feelings are still a bit hurt and DH is super pizzed off, but what can you do ... can't undo something that's already been done. Just try to move on from here and avoid the situation happening again!

Message edited 2/16/2011 3:20:47 PM.

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous

aww u can feel upset about it and try to tell your mom to please refrain from mentioning the name again, some people may not remeber and if u decide to change you can say we fell in love with a different name or we chose a different name when we saw her, my sister did that she told everyone she was naming her son matteo, my dad had a motorcylce accident in april leaving her babyshower and she dediced to name the baby carlos after him! its your daughter and whatever name you pick will be great!

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous

I would be furious if my mom did that. We are not telliing anyone (including my mom), partially for this reason. Even if you didn't tell her not to tell (which I assume you did), it is not her place to go telling people. She is your mother, so not much you can do about it, but sorry - I don't think you are being ridiculous.

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous

I am sorry that happened - I think you have a right to be upset - you know she did it cause she is so happy but it is your baby and your news to share
I think just ask her to stop telling people and if anyone she told brings it up to tell them you are not def on that name

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous

I would ask her to please not mention it to anyone else. That you weren't 100% decided and you were looking forward to sharing it with people. I don't think you are being ridiculous, I'd be upset too.

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous

I don't think you're being ridiculous at all. My mom has a very big mouth, which is why we waited to even tell her we were expecting. I'm sure your mom is just excited, but I would be upset if I were you too. I agree with the PP & I'd ask her not to tell anyone else, although it's impossible to keep the people she's already told from telling more people.

Now, won't she be surprised if you change your mind after all?

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous

honestly. . I would be really bummed too. I'm sorry that happened - it feels like she should have known not to tell people even if it came from a place of excitement for you - it still feels like it should be your announcement and moment to share with people. .

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous

I would be really bummed. I told my mom I was PG when I was around 8 weeks, and I made her swear up and down that she wouldn't tell anyone except for her boyfriend. I didn't want to tell almost anyone until I was 14 weeks (my mom had a few miscarriages, all at 13 weeks--so 14w was my comfort zone. I visited my mom when I was 12 weeks, and she said to me as I was pulling up in her driveway "Just to let you know, I told..." and she told all the neighbors! Even worse, my siblings--WHO LIVE WITH HER--still have no clue! I was so mad, and my siblings were really hurt that Tommy down the block knew before they did. Having your mom tell any sort of baby-related news before you get the chance to do so really deflates some of the excitement for you. It's not something that would ruin a relationship obviously, but I totally get it .

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous

not ridiculous at ALL - I'd feel exactly the same way - but I am with you regarding feeling like youi can't really be mad since you didn't tell her NOT to tell anyone -

Lesson learned, explicitly tell her NOT to open her yap !!!

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous

I feel for you! I would be frustrated if my mom did that. But know that your mom didn't do it out of anything else but excitement. It's also hard to be mad at her when you didn't specifically say to not tell anyone. But I would have wanted to be the one to tell people myself!

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous UPDATED

Bump for update up top ...

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous UPDATED

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous UPDATED

This sounds like my mom
We told her the name we liked best but said it wasn't 100% yet ... she was telling EVERYONE & even put his name on gifts at Christmas. My Grandma & Aunts were at Christmas & it made me uncomfortable. I was very upset. We did end up keeping that as his name but that wasn't the point.
Glad you were able to talk with her about it. I hope your MIL isn't too upset. If she is I'm sure she will forget all about it once baby arrives

Re: Please tell me I'm being ridiculous UPDATED

You handled that well. My mom is the same way. I can't tell her things until I want them to be public knowledge because she has NO filter. I only told her the baby's name 2 weeks ago....ILs have known for much longer.