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JenMarie
One day at a time
Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
I spent all night and morning in L&D because I had been having really bad cramps throughout the week and then the light spotting I had became a little heavier. Baby is fine, cervix is closed and long, I'm not having contractions, and my UA came back negative for a UTI - all good things. Problem is we're still not sure what the issue is. The OB thinks I could be having issues with my cervix and might need a cerclage.
Anyway, as we're getting ready to leave we're going over with the nurse what warrants a call to the OB and what doesn't. She says to me "well, 17 weeks isn't really a viable gestational age so there's not much we can do." I didn't even know what to say. I have a follow-up appointment with the OB on Monday and am going to mention it to him. I KNOW he completely disagrees. I don't understand how you say that to someone who is bleeding and cramping with no known cause as of right now. So comforting. At least the nurse I had for the overnight shift was incredible and couldn't have been more comforting.
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Posted 2/12/11 11:32 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MrsFein09
We are so in Love with you!!!
Member since 10/09 2470 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
I am so sorry!!!! I really wish people would think before they speak. I get the point of being honest but there should be a little sensitivity. 
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| Posted 2/12/11 11:35 AM |
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mrsprop
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/09 768 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
OMG! What a nasty woman!
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| Posted 2/12/11 11:35 AM |
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
that was really stupid. . I'm sure what she meant was if you delivered now it wasn't viable but that DOES NOT mean that there aren't a million things to do to make sure that doesn't happen. . just seems like she wasn't thinking and was tactless . sorry you had to experience that and hope your Dr gives you more concrete and supportive info. .
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| Posted 2/12/11 11:36 AM |
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babyonboard11
In love with my little man!!
Member since 8/10 1841 total posts
Name:
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
I am sorry they said that to you, unfortunately I had the same experience with an ER dr. It is def something that should not be said outloud. I would talk to your OB - they know best
Hope you feel better!
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| Posted 2/12/11 11:40 AM |
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sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
WHAT is that supposed to mean!? They said you aren't having contractions which means you aren't in labor...therefore not "delivering".
Wow, I would have flipped out. Definitely mention it to the OB when you see him although I'm sure he is going to say just ignore that comment. 
Message edited 2/12/2011 11:43:02 AM.
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| Posted 2/12/11 11:42 AM |
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Dream426
DD: July 11, 2011!!
Member since 6/08 1859 total posts
Name:
Gina Marie
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
I don't get people's bedside manner sometimes. Is it that hard to try and make the patient feel a little better. I understand sometimes you need to be realistic but there is a way to put it that isn't harsh. I am sorry she was so rude to you.
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| Posted 2/12/11 11:43 AM |
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MayAngels
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/10 406 total posts
Name:
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
I am sorry that you too had a bad hospital experience. People don't think before they speak and tend to forget theres an actual person standing there with feelings!!
I just went through the same thing this week at Good Sam. SOme schmo who wasn't even training in teh Ob field comes into my room and wants to "confirm" all the questions I have already answered a billion times that day by every other nurse and resident. He was a complete moron. Honestly I felt like I am more qualified to be in the medical field right now than him! AT one point he tells me "let's talk about this abortion you had" I flipped out. I lost a set of twins at 15-16 weeks Mothers Day weekend no less in 2010. I DID NOT HAVE ANY ABORTION!!!! I do not care what their text book terminology is I am a human being who suffered a HUGE loss and at no time ever do I want to hear terminology that implies that I wanted that pregnancy terminated in any way shape or form! Then he asked me if I had any blood conditions and when I answered him and told him what I have he looked at me and said "Is that an actual diagnosis??!" NO you MORON I made it up!!! I seriously wanted to slap him silly. Needless to say I was crying about the abortion thing when my nurse came in and asked what was wrong so I told her and she went and got the Resident who ripped him a new one! Turns out there was absolutely NO reason at all for him to be in my room to begin with. He is studying medicine and nothing at all to do with Obstetrics. The Resident in no uncertain terms told him to stay the hell away from me and my room! So unfortunately I can relate to how you feel. Some people are complete @SSES!!
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| Posted 2/12/11 12:24 PM |
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kostena
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 242 total posts
Name:
Anastasia
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
I have been in the hospital for almost a week now and if I had a dollar for every stupid thing that each person said I would be rich. sometimes people just don't think...I don't get it. the best is when someone will say something as if I'm still carrying twins...as if I haven't been through enough...get it right people. I stopped getting upset. everyday it's somthing else that someone will say....brush it off and ignore the stupidity and arrogance of people. 
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| Posted 2/12/11 1:22 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
oh no 
I'm sorry you were in the hospital, I hope you're feeling better now!
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| Posted 2/12/11 2:07 PM |
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littlebeanz
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1667 total posts
Name:
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
Posted by JenMarie
I spent all night and morning in L&D because I had been having really bad cramps throughout the week and then the light spotting I had became a little heavier. Baby is fine, cervix is closed and long, I'm not having contractions, and my UA came back negative for a UTI - all good things. Problem is we're still not sure what the issue is. The OB thinks I could be having issues with my cervix and might need a cerclage.
Anyway, as we're getting ready to leave we're going over with the nurse what warrants a call to the OB and what doesn't. She says to me "well, 17 weeks isn't really a viable gestational age so there's not much we can do." I didn't even know what to say. I have a follow-up appointment with the OB on Monday and am going to mention it to him. I KNOW he completely disagrees. I don't understand how you say that to someone who is bleeding and cramping with no known cause as of right now. So comforting. At least the nurse I had for the overnight shift was incredible and couldn't have been more comforting.
I would call and speak with her supervisor...beotch!
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| Posted 2/12/11 2:54 PM |
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windest
LIF Adult
Member since 8/10 1064 total posts
Name:
Windy
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
So rude!
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| Posted 2/12/11 6:43 PM |
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LuLu2260
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 1647 total posts
Name:
Mich
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
I would have said something! Sorry you had to go through this! I am happy the baby and you are ok. :)
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| Posted 2/12/11 7:14 PM |
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sweetie101
you make me smile :o)
Member since 5/08 4419 total posts
Name:
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
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| Posted 2/12/11 9:53 PM |
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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
what a terrible thing to say.
Hope you're feeling better!
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| Posted 2/13/11 12:02 AM |
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carlowlou
loving my babies!
Member since 4/08 4594 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
that is terrible! hope everything is ok!
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| Posted 2/13/11 10:41 AM |
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
When I was pg with Emmy I had a few scares at 20wks. My nurse AND OB said that to me and as much as it p*ssed me off it also put it into perspective for me. It is a HORRIBLE thing to hear, but the reality is it's true. I called my OB out on it and she said calmly that there is only so much you can do and that in the end it's up to whatever higher power you believe in. To rest, relax, and pamper myself until 24wks and THEN they could do more to help the baby if she came. It's a horrible truth. I remember laying in L&D SCREAMING for them to do something to help her and the reality is they could just give fluids and meds to try and stop labor. It worked and I delivered at 36wks.
I guess my point it while it is a harsh thing to say it IS true. I don't think ANY mother wants to even go there, but that is the medical staff's job. To explain ALL risks. I'm sorry if this seems bad, but I have a hard time with people getting mad at medical people who are doing there job. I'm not saying you are doing anything, I'm just saying it WAS her job to inform you no matter how much you don't want to hear it.
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| Posted 2/13/11 11:09 AM |
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kostena
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 242 total posts
Name:
Anastasia
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
I agree that they must tell you all risks...but the truth of the matter is that some things should be left to the doctors to say and some things should be said with sensitivity when it comes to these type of situations.
Like in any profession...some nurses and doctors are better at their jobs than others...and some will have better bedside manner than others. It's unfortunate that some of us that have very hard, emotionally draining, and just difficult pregnancies have to run into people like this.
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| Posted 2/13/11 11:18 AM |
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
Posted by kostena
I agree that they must tell you all risks...but the truth of the matter is that some things should be left to the doctors to say and some things should be said with sensitivity when it comes to these type of situations.
Like in any profession...some nurses and doctors are better at their jobs than others...and some will have better bedside manner than others. It's unfortunate that some of us that have very hard, emotionally draining, and just difficult pregnancies have to run into people like this.
I 100% agree with you, but we also don't know the way in which this was said or what they were discussing. I know when they said it to me I asked what the next step was and they explained stopping the labor and If she was born what would happen. I found them to be rude and heartless, but my husband, who was with me, explained they were just matter of fact about it. I saw it a totally different way BECAUSE it was my child.
All i'm saying is that it is their job to explain this stuff, and while it's HORRIBLE to hear it doesn't make it any less true or make this nurse a b*tch. Up until my nurse and OB said this to me I had NEVER even thought about it, and the fact is I had to at least know what the facts were. Horrible yes, scary yes, wanting to kill them for saying it yes, but it doesn't make it less of the truth, or them jerks for telling me.
The other reason i'm responding is because there is clearly a different opinion to be heard, and while the nurse said this to her the OP stated the doctor disagreed. The doc and nurses need to be on the same page, and this to me, is the bigger issue. Viability is 24wks or MAYBE 23 depending on the NICU staff and doctors.
Message edited 2/13/2011 11:29:18 AM.
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| Posted 2/13/11 11:25 AM |
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kostena
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 242 total posts
Name:
Anastasia
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
Posted by medic6809
Posted by kostena
I agree that they must tell you all risks...but the truth of the matter is that some things should be left to the doctors to say and some things should be said with sensitivity when it comes to these type of situations.
Like in any profession...some nurses and doctors are better at their jobs than others...and some will have better bedside manner than others. It's unfortunate that some of us that have very hard, emotionally draining, and just difficult pregnancies have to run into people like this.
I 100% agree with you, but we also don't know the way in which this was said or what they were discussing. I know when they said it to me I asked what the next step was and they explained stopping the labor and If she was born what would happen. I found them to be rude and heartless, but my husband, who was with me, explained they were just matter of fact about it. I saw it a totally different way BECAUSE it was my child.
All i'm saying is that it is their job to explain this stuff, and while it's HORRIBLE to hear it doesn't make it any less true or make this nurse a b*tch. Up until my nurse and OB said this to me I had NEVER even thought about it, and the fact is I had to at least know what the facts were. Horrible yes, scary yes, wanting to kill them for saying it yes, but it doesn't make it less of the truth, or them jerks for telling me.
The other reason i'm responding is because there is clearly a different opinion to be heard, and while the nurse said this to her the OP stated the doctor disagreed. The doc and nurses need to be on the same page, and this to me, is the bigger issue. Viability is 24wks or MAYBE 23 depending on the NICU staff and doctors.
sure. i wasn't really talking about one scenario. just in general.
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| Posted 2/13/11 11:32 AM |
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JenMarie
One day at a time
Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
Posted by medic6809
When I was pg with Emmy I had a few scares at 20wks. My nurse AND OB said that to me and as much as it p*ssed me off it also put it into perspective for me. It is a HORRIBLE thing to hear, but the reality is it's true. I called my OB out on it and she said calmly that there is only so much you can do and that in the end it's up to whatever higher power you believe in. To rest, relax, and pamper myself until 24wks and THEN they could do more to help the baby if she came. It's a horrible truth. I remember laying in L&D SCREAMING for them to do something to help her and the reality is they could just give fluids and meds to try and stop labor. It worked and I delivered at 36wks.
I guess my point it while it is a harsh thing to say it IS true. I don't think ANY mother wants to even go there, but that is the medical staff's job. To explain ALL risks. I'm sorry if this seems bad, but I have a hard time with people getting mad at medical people who are doing there job. I'm not saying you are doing anything, I'm just saying it WAS her job to inform you no matter how much you don't want to hear it.
You're absolutely right - if something had been wrong and we thought I was going to deliver I would have expected them to tell me this. I know it's true, but it was how and when she said it that took me by surprise. Everything was fine and I was leaving the hospital. She was telling me that if I had more bleeding that is like a period I should call the OB. I asked about cramps and she said yes, to call the OB. THEN she said that 17 weeks isn't a viable gestational age - kind of like saying why bother coming back here because we're not going to help you.
My doc wasn't there whens he said it. When I said he disagrees I meant that I know he'll do whatever he can to get this baby to full term. He's not just going to shrug his shoulders and move on like she was implying.
It wasn't just that one comment with the nurse that had me irritated with her. When she first came in and introduced herself she asked if I was still bleeding because the nurses overnight didn't see it, almost implying I was lying. She wanted me to go to the bathroom and show her the toilet paper, which the overnight nurse never asked me to do. Blood was on every instrument they used on me and they saw it when they looked inside. Then we were waiting for maternal fetal medicine to come up to scan me. She told me I would probably be there until 6pm (it was only 10am) because they had to squeeze me in between other patients. We felt like she pushed us out. It just seemed like she didn't think we belonged there.
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| Posted 2/13/11 12:22 PM |
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Re: Nurse in L&D made a really stupid comment
Posted by JenMarie
Posted by medic6809
When I was pg with Emmy I had a few scares at 20wks. My nurse AND OB said that to me and as much as it p*ssed me off it also put it into perspective for me. It is a HORRIBLE thing to hear, but the reality is it's true. I called my OB out on it and she said calmly that there is only so much you can do and that in the end it's up to whatever higher power you believe in. To rest, relax, and pamper myself until 24wks and THEN they could do more to help the baby if she came. It's a horrible truth. I remember laying in L&D SCREAMING for them to do something to help her and the reality is they could just give fluids and meds to try and stop labor. It worked and I delivered at 36wks.
I guess my point it while it is a harsh thing to say it IS true. I don't think ANY mother wants to even go there, but that is the medical staff's job. To explain ALL risks. I'm sorry if this seems bad, but I have a hard time with people getting mad at medical people who are doing there job. I'm not saying you are doing anything, I'm just saying it WAS her job to inform you no matter how much you don't want to hear it.
You're absolutely right - if something had been wrong and we thought I was going to deliver I would have expected them to tell me this. I know it's true, but it was how and when she said it that took me by surprise. Everything was fine and I was leaving the hospital. She was telling me that if I had more bleeding that is like a period I should call the OB. I asked about cramps and she said yes, to call the OB. THEN she said that 17 weeks isn't a viable gestational age - kind of like saying why bother coming back here because we're not going to help you.
My doc wasn't there whens he said it. When I said he disagrees I meant that I know he'll do whatever he can to get this baby to full term. He's not just going to shrug his shoulders and move on like she was implying.
It wasn't just that one comment with the nurse that had me irritated with her. When she first came in and introduced herself she asked if I was still bleeding because the nurses overnight didn't see it, almost implying I was lying. She wanted me to go to the bathroom and show her the toilet paper, which the overnight nurse never asked me to do. Blood was on every instrument they used on me and they saw it when they looked inside. Then we were waiting for maternal fetal medicine to come up to scan me. She told me I would probably be there until 6pm (it was only 10am) because they had to squeeze me in between other patients. We felt like she pushed us out. It just seemed like she didn't think we belonged there.
See this changes it. I am very sorry that you had that experience. I also had similar experiences like this and am now gun shy to use the same hospital. If it wasn't for the NICU and my less then pleasent uterous(?) I would never go back. I think it's hard to remember that what is an everyday job for her is a very new thing to you. Sometimes people need to be put back into perspective.
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| Posted 2/13/11 6:52 PM |
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