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It really hit me today

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monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

It really hit me today

I think today it really hit me that we may not have another child. Again I have to say I know I have so much to be thankful for and I am. I adore my two children beyond words but I can promise you the ache for another child is really no less than it is for your first. I never thought it would feel this strong but it is and I am not really sure how I will come to terms with it.
This month is out (short of a miracle) b/c I didn't call my RE and I'm already CD 4. I just felt like I couldn't deal this month. I don't know where DH and I will go from here.
I guess the hardest part is that I feel like a decision is being made for me...KWIM? If we decided we were done with two that's one thing but now it's almost like an outside force is making the decision for us and it's opposite of what we want.
I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow but for some reason today has been really, really hard.
It still amazes me that we got pregnant with DD on our first try. Holy cow did I take that for granted.

Posted 1/29/11 7:32 PM
 
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curiousO
he is here.. thank you God

Member since 10/07

2344 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: It really hit me today

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon i am sure it will work outChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/29/11 9:48 PM
 

Goldi0218
My miracles!

Member since 12/05

23902 total posts

Name:
Leslie

Re: It really hit me today

When I had been trying to get PG with our second with our RE, someone in the lobby had told me "at least you have one already". It hurt - a lot. It hurt because having a second child wasn't only to fulfill our dreams of having two children, but to give Abby a sibling and a best friend and so she would not be alone. DH and I both have multiple siblings and we wanted it to be for her as well - though we are stopping at two kids. Yes, you can and should be grateful for the children you have, but if you are still feeling as if it hurts, then it hurts and don't let anyone take that away from you. Chat Icon

Posted 1/29/11 10:50 PM
 

DRMom
Two in Blue

Member since 5/05

20223 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: It really hit me today

I'm sorry and just want to say don't lose hope. Hey I went to a reproductive immunologist Dr right outside of Chicago...Dr Kwak-Kim have you heard of her? She is at Rosalind Franklin and handles my protocol for meds during IVF and pregnancy

Posted 1/30/11 12:11 AM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

Thanks guys. It's definitely a raw feeling.
Melissa-I'm in Colorado...I haven't heard of her.
IUI is about as far as we can go and it appears that our issues are pretty much MF. Not sure if we got lucky the first time or it's just come with age for him.

Posted 1/30/11 12:22 AM
 

maybemommy10
Big Brothers to Be !

Member since 2/10

3868 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

Posted by monkeybride

Thanks guys. It's definitely a raw feeling.
Melissa-I'm in Colorado...I haven't heard of her.
IUI is about as far as we can go and it appears that our issues are pretty much MF. Not sure if we got lucky the first time or it's just come with age for him.



If i was in Colorado i would RUN not walk to CCRM. They have the best stats in the country.

HA, im in NY and i STILL might be going thereChat Icon

Posted 1/30/11 8:47 AM
 

ODonnell
.

Member since 9/05

5983 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

I'm sorrylChat Icon Sometimes taking a break is the best thing for you mentally. Even just for one cycle.

I agree about CCRM - they are the best in the country. They are in the forefront for using new procedures.

Posted 1/30/11 9:37 AM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

Thanks. I didn't know about CCRM. I'm going to google them.

ETA: CCRM doesn't take my insurance Chat Icon We don't have great coverage but at least my consults and ultrasounds and stuff are covered.

Message edited 1/30/2011 10:28:41 AM.

Posted 1/30/11 10:25 AM
 

Irishgrl1017
It happened :)

Member since 9/08

1872 total posts

Name:
Colleen

Re: It really hit me today

Im sorryChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/30/11 11:05 AM
 

bookworm
Two Little Rosebuds

Member since 8/09

2106 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/30/11 11:27 AM
 

DaisyGirl
LIF Adult

Member since 2/08

1650 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

I'm sorry Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/30/11 12:05 PM
 

LoLaBlue
PARTY OF 5

Member since 6/10

6900 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/30/11 12:35 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9511 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

I'm not really sure of your situation but we have MF issues as well. Can you try a natural IVF cycle with ICSI? I think it is a lot less money than regular IVF because there are no meds and the monitoring is similar to an IUI.

Posted 1/30/11 1:08 PM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

Posted by lululu

I'm not really sure of your situation but we have MF issues as well. Can you try a natural IVF cycle with ICSI? I think it is a lot less money than regular IVF because there are no meds and the monitoring is similar to an IUI.




Do you have any idea what the ball park range might be for that?

Posted 1/30/11 1:19 PM
 

keepingsecrets
ridiculously blessed!!

Member since 7/09

1912 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

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Posted 1/30/11 2:43 PM
 

DRMom
Two in Blue

Member since 5/05

20223 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: It really hit me today

Posted by monkeybride

Thanks guys. It's definitely a raw feeling.
Melissa-I'm in Colorado...I haven't heard of her.
IUI is about as far as we can go and it appears that our issues are pretty much MF. Not sure if we got lucky the first time or it's just come with age for him.



Oh for some reason I thought you were in Chicago...Have you tried the natural route for MF? Vitamins, acu, diet etc?

Posted 1/31/11 12:38 AM
 

DRMom
Two in Blue

Member since 5/05

20223 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: It really hit me today

Posted by monkeybride

Posted by lululu

I'm not really sure of your situation but we have MF issues as well. Can you try a natural IVF cycle with ICSI? I think it is a lot less money than regular IVF because there are no meds and the monitoring is similar to an IUI.




Do you have any idea what the ball park range might be for that?



I think I read about this when I was trying to fgure out what we would do and thought it was somehwre in the 4-5k range...hang on let me look

here it is in NY but I bet CCRM might do something like this

New Hope

Posted 1/31/11 12:40 AM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

Posted by DRMom

Posted by monkeybride

Thanks guys. It's definitely a raw feeling.
Melissa-I'm in Colorado...I haven't heard of her.
IUI is about as far as we can go and it appears that our issues are pretty much MF. Not sure if we got lucky the first time or it's just come with age for him.



Oh for some reason I thought you were in Chicago...Have you tried the natural route for MF? Vitamins, acu, diet etc?



His issue is morphology only. He's taking FertilAid.
Part of me wonders if this is a new issue or if he always had it. Chat Icon Sometimes I almost wish we didn't know and just kept trying without that in the back of our minds.

Posted 1/31/11 11:06 AM
 

beanie571
:-P

Member since 5/07

2509 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

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Posted 1/31/11 11:25 AM
 

jellybean78
:)

Member since 8/06

13103 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: It really hit me today

Posted by monkeybride

Posted by DRMom

Posted by monkeybride

Thanks guys. It's definitely a raw feeling.
Melissa-I'm in Colorado...I haven't heard of her.
IUI is about as far as we can go and it appears that our issues are pretty much MF. Not sure if we got lucky the first time or it's just come with age for him.



Oh for some reason I thought you were in Chicago...Have you tried the natural route for MF? Vitamins, acu, diet etc?



His issue is morphology only. He's taking FertilAid.
Part of me wonders if this is a new issue or if he always had it. Chat Icon Sometimes I almost wish we didn't know and just kept trying without that in the back of our minds.



Is he taking Pycnogenol or COQ10? That is supposed to help with morphology. Also vegetables...any kind of antioxidants. Try a natural diet first. Good Luck. I'm sorry you are feeling down but I wouldn't give up yet. It could happen. The website www.fertilichat.com has a MFI section and a guy named Rich that has some good info on MF infertility and natural treatments. Good LuckChat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/31/11 11:48 AM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

Posted by jacquig

Posted by monkeybride

Posted by DRMom

Posted by monkeybride

Thanks guys. It's definitely a raw feeling.
Melissa-I'm in Colorado...I haven't heard of her.
IUI is about as far as we can go and it appears that our issues are pretty much MF. Not sure if we got lucky the first time or it's just come with age for him.



Oh for some reason I thought you were in Chicago...Have you tried the natural route for MF? Vitamins, acu, diet etc?



His issue is morphology only. He's taking FertilAid.
Part of me wonders if this is a new issue or if he always had it. Chat Icon Sometimes I almost wish we didn't know and just kept trying without that in the back of our minds.



Is he taking Pycnogenol or COQ10? That is supposed to help with morphology. Also vegetables...any kind of antioxidants. Try a natural diet first. Good Luck. I'm sorry you are feeling down but I wouldn't give up yet. It could happen. The website www.fertilichat.com has a MFI section and a guy named Rich that has some good info on MF infertility and natural treatments. Good LuckChat Icon Chat Icon



I will check the bottle and see if those are in the Fertil Aid. If not I will get them.
His diet SUCKS!! He is not a veggie eater so we need to anti oxidants from other sources.
I will check out that website too.


Thank all you girls so much for being so supportive. I know a lot of you have been on this journey longer than me and I feel bad venting and complaining. You all are wonderful and I'm so glad to have this board.

Posted 1/31/11 11:59 AM
 

RGEC47
Feeling blessed!

Member since 11/09

3039 total posts

Name:
Rosa

Re: It really hit me today

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Posted 1/31/11 12:38 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9511 total posts

Name:

Re: It really hit me today

Like the PP said - you can do it at New Hope and it costs about $4k. I know I asked NSLIJ about it and they wouldn't do it. I think that you have to find an RE that is willing to go the less traditional route. This procedure doesn't involve meds on your part though so it's much easier than traditional IVF. It is a great option if you only have MF issues.

Posted 1/31/11 1:33 PM
 
 

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