How do i get dh to be more positive?

This is killing me..
dh is really reluctant to be positive about anything we're doing now.
he's got one or two friends he can talk to about this, but its not that frequent and probably not as in depth as it should be

i really wish he had an outlet like this board because he needs it

I just shared some positive news with him and his immediate response was that he wouldn't believe it until it happens (i'll give you guys details on this later).

I know its a defense mechanism for him now.. he's trying to prevent another colossal disappointment, but i really just don't know how to deal with his negativity and maintain my own positive outlook on things.

Re: How do i get dh to be more positive?

i have no advice bc dh and i went thru the same exact issue.. even after i found out i was pregnant dh wouldnt even acknowledge it until i was over 20 weeks and he saw the baby on the sono.
Granted we had 2 mc prior so he did have reluctance to accept something actually good was happening but like u said its a defense mechanism..

dont give up and keep the positive outlook for urself and ur dh.. an old couple once told me the secret to making a marriage work is sometimes u each put in 50% but sometimes one of u guys is putting in 95% and the other only 5%..

Re: How do i get dh to be more positive?

It must be so hard to have to be the positive one all the time. I understand why your DH is discouraged, but it certainly isn't emotionally healthy, or helpful for either of you if he can't get past each month's upset.

I think one of the specific things about this board is knowing that I'm not alone in this, and that there are others who are going through this, have had much longer roads, and have had successful pregnancies. It always reminds me that no matter how bleak things seem, there is hope.

I would imagine that on one of the fertility-specific websites, there must be a board for the husbands to chat on. Do you think your DH would use something like that for support?

I think that it's very hard for guys to talk to their friends about this stuff. I know that my DH has a hard time even having a serious conversation with me about how he's feeling. He'll talk about the protocol and the biological stuff, but it's very tough for him to express his emotions. I get the feeling that even when our DHs have chatted, they haven't gotten too in depth...it's not easy for them, and they've been friends for most of their lives! I keep encouraging my DH to talk with yours, but it seems hard for him to initiate.

I want to know what your good news is....

Re: How do i get dh to be more positive?

Re: How do i get dh to be more positive?

i would also suggest looking into therapy. It helps a lot