IVF and Work

those that did IVF cycles, did you tell your bosses? if so what was the situation?

i work for a really small startup company. i have been there since its inception, just over 5 months ago. we have 9 people working there now (soon to be 11), but i am the only person that does what i do.

all of that being said i kinda want to tell my bosses that i am going to be going through IVF. we arent super close, but when i needed to take a day off to do a hysteroscopy a few months ago, i told them i was having a medical procedure done, and when i returned they kept asking me if i felt OK . most of the reason i want to tell them is so that i can specifically take off the day of ER and ET (not sure if thats even necessary but i want to have the option) and not have any questions asked...

i also feel weird giving away my hand that i am even TTC in the first place. i feel like they will automatically assume i am going to leave or start thinking of people who can take my place. am i just being paranoid?? they are both young, family men, one has 3 kids (1 3month old) and the other has 1 baby thats almost 1. but i still feel like they will feel like i am less committed if i am pregnant and starting a family. is that crazy??

anyway im just wondering what peoples experiences are with this. thanks!!

Message edited 8/30/2010 9:54:44 PM.

Re: IVF and Work

I kind of had the same situation, my company went Chapter 11 and my boss at the time knew however, I was only doing IUI's at that point so I was coming in late and what not. When I decided to do IVF I told him and he was completely on board. Then the companies split, a new one was formed with a new boss... I didn't know him well enough to tell him so I ended up confiding in HR so that I wouldn't have trouble taking days off. I still have not told my boss that I did IVF, he just thinks I had crazy medical procedures that are done in shifts! He probably thinks I am dying or something but at least he leaves me alone! I would say you will definitely need the day of retrieval off but they say you can go in if your comfortable to do so after ET. I stayed home both times, the last because I was so bloated. Good Luck!

Message edited 8/30/2010 9:58:28 PM.

Re: IVF and Work

Re: IVF and Work

it was my first year at a new school so i did not mention anything... luckily for me LI IVF have very early monitoring hours so it made it easy to get to work on time, and i took off the necessary days i needed and got a note from them... no questions asked... DH on the other hand, told his boss ( i worked at his school for a while also) because he took me to every single procedure, ER, transfer I had... she was very understanding

Re: IVF and Work

i just finished a fresh cycle. i work at a pretty big company. i did not tell anyone i was doing IVF. i was able to do all monitoring before work and still get in on time. when it came time for ER and ET, i took vacation time. my dr gave me a calendar at the start of my cycle and i took the whole week off from the day before ER to about 5 days following ET, just in case I stimmed longer. i know that not everyone can do this but if you can, i think it's a great option.

Re: IVF and Work

I told my boss and the person covering me.

They both are totally cool with it although my boss does think I'm dying of something. Hard to believe all of the hoops I had to jump through.

...and still not pregnant.

damn, I can't even get a few freakin eggs.

Re: IVF and Work

I confided in my manager from the start of my fertility cycles and she was very understanding. It made the whole process less stressful. I also work for a big company so it's easy to sneak out without getting noticed.

Sometimes people can be more understanding than you think and you never know who may have been down this road before since infertility is rarely talked about.

Hope this helps.

Re: IVF and Work

I work for a very small company too, so its hard not to notice when someone is coming in late once a week for months. I tried really hard not to tell anyone, thinking why bother im going to get knocked up any day now ! But after 4 IUIs, the stress of making up excuse after excuse got to be too much. When I started IVF I told my immediate boss', and they were great about it. It was a giant weight lifted off my back.

I don't think you necessarily have to tell them details or even its IVF, but I would tell them something medical is going on that you need time off to take care off. IVF is stressful enough, the less you have to worry about other things the better.

Re: IVF and Work

I work for a big company and I told my immediate supervisor. She was fine with it and very supportive. I was not going to tell her at first but it was easier then making the excuses. Most of the time when I was late it would be maybe a half an hour or leaving a half an hour early so it was not too bad. Some things can be done on the weekends so that does make it easier. Now we are most likely going to do our first IVF cycle it may be harder since I work in Manhattan and live on Long Island and pretty East. I know it will be hard going everyday for sonograms and other things but I guess it will have to work somehow.

Re: IVF and Work

i have to give at least a little info away to my boss because i'm going to need a little time off here and there. however, i teach so that means i have to ask for special permission to get the time i need. it also means that i am protected by a union and in a position that lends itself to family planning.

i might be more nervous in a small private sector company like that. it makes sense to keep it as close to the vest as possible, i think.

Re: IVF and Work

I haven't told anyone. Monitoring hours are 7-8:30am so I am always at my desk by 9.

Re: IVF and Work

I haven't told anyone at work about it. I'm a very private person in general and I always feel more stressed out when people know about my business... but then again that's just me. It all depends on your personality and what makes you feel more comfortable. So far, for whatever appointments I've had I either try to schedule around lunch time or after work ( I leave about 15 minutes earlier to get there on time). If I'll need to go more often during the last week of stimming I'll just tell my boss that I need to go for a couple of doctor's visits and I'm sorry but they don't have late hours and end it at that. I wouldn't be able to handle the pressure of feeling that I had to fill him in with the progress I'm making....Infertility is a personal matter and if you don't feel comfortable sharing it with someone I don't see why you should... just make sure that you put in your time and that should make up for it.