Temperment - Inherited or Learned..

Hi,

This might be easier answered by those of you with more than one child. I am beginning to wonder if my childs temperment is inherited of if I in some way have maybe taught her to be the way she is...

She is only 4mths old so I could just be expecting too much...but she has a very short attention span when she plays on her own...she will do less than 10 mins in the bouncy chair, swing, playmat but if I play with her or talk to her while she is in the chair she is happy to sit there for much longer.....she also needs to be stimulated at all times - she gets bored very easily with things and I find that I spend my entire day moving from one thing to the next to keep her amused.

I know you can overstimulate babies so I have tried to let her have some quiet time but she will have none of it.

She is also a very bad napper and fights it all the time.

My mom thinks that I may have overstimulated her when she was very little - I used to spend hours with her in the first few weeks talking, reading and playing with her...do you think I taught her to need stimulation or are some babies just more needy than others?

I noticed over this past weekend when we were out with parents of babies similar in age to her that they were happy just sitting in their strollers while my little miss had to be entertained the whole time.

What do you think?

Re: Temperment - Inherited or Learned..

Right...I could have written this. I just think that some babies are needier than others!

I think its inherent. My 5 month old baby is very similar, only is happy when he is riding my hip all over the place. He cries in the stroller (well moans, not really cries) and is very random with what he will be happy playing with. He might be happy in the exersaucer for 5 minutes one day, 30 minutes the next day, scream in it another day. Same with the playmat etc etc.

Personally, I would not say that you overstimulated her when she was a baby...this is just her personality and she is probably very bright! Thats why her attention span is so short (at least thats what I tell myself about Noah) He too doesn't nap, and I think this probably leads to his irritiability...he is very tired a lot of the time.

When I spent some time with my mother recently I said to her that it made me feel bad because I thought Noah was unhappy, she said that (and I agree with her) that he is perfectly happy...this is just his personality and that I kind of had to learn to deal with it...so I have. I have had to learn what his cries really mean...so if he is crying in his stroller in the mall, he is really just kind of talking to himself...he wants to be picked up, but guess what...I can't hold him all day long, so he has got to moan sometimes!

I think its important to find one thing that she likes...for instance, Noah likes mirrors so I went out and bought a playmat with a mirror on top, this can sometimes keep him occupied for up to 40 minutes...he likes the exersaucer so we keep that handy!

Believe you me, I spend sometimes 12 hours a day holding this kid....and it is exhausting, but I look at it this way, I don't know any 18 year olds who have to be held all the time, so I think he will grow out of this!!! Just keep your pecker up!!!

Re: Temperment - Inherited or Learned..

I think that your mom may have overstimulated you as a baby, causing your evil tendencies, so she is to blame for your daughter doing what babies do.

PUH--lease....

Give yourself a break. Your baby is totally normal and you are a great mom. Temperment (outside of serious neglect) is not something you create.

Re: Temperment - Inherited or Learned..

Posted by Calla

I think that your mom may have overstimulated you as a baby, causing your evil tendencies, so she is to blame for your daughter doing what babies do.

PUH--lease....

Give yourself a break. Your baby is totally normal and you are a great mom. Temperment (outside of serious neglect) is not something you create.

Re: Temperment - Inherited or Learned..

That sounds like normal infant behavior to me!!

Re: Temperment - Inherited or Learned..

Thanks Everyone...think I might be overstressing as I work from home as well as taking care of my baby so I feel like I am chasing my tail every day....

Re: Temperment - Inherited or Learned..

I just read this post out loud to DH because I could have written this word for frickin word!!!!!!! I also go through the questions of "maybe I overstimulated her?". I talked to her alllll the time and one book I read said to act interested in what they are playing with so I really never gave her too much alone time so I always felt that I taught her to be the way she is today (which can be very hard to handle).

Makes me feel so much better that I'm not alone. Hopefully it is inherited. But I have to say that the days when she actually gets a good amount of sleep she is a much more laid back baby.

You are not alone...