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I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

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Jenbug927
LIF Infant

Member since 3/10

280 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

I'm curious to know if I'm just overly strict or completely crazy... but my 13 yr old SD is running around like a chicken w/out a head today for riding and then dance until 9pm tonight and then she comes outside earlier today to ask if she can go to a 1a.m. showing of the new Twilight movie making it so she wouldn't get home until after 3a.m.!!! And then she has another activity tomorrow morning at 8a.m. and then a pool party at noon... is it just me, or is allowing my SD to go to a 1a.m. movie a little extreme?!?!?!?! Would any mother's allow your children at 13 years old to go to a 1a.m.?????? Just curious b/c in my head and the life I grew up with, you weren't going to the movies after 8p.m. I got so upset that her BM said yes to it after all the other activities she's running around doing... but then again her BM says YES to everything b/c she just doesn't want to deal with the aggravation that goes along with saying NO... I personally have no problems saying no and just closing my ears to the whining! LOL... Please tell me if I'm crazy or overly strict. TIA

Posted 6/29/10 3:27 PM
 

Lucky2008
LIF Adult

Member since 5/08

1005 total posts

Name:
Chris

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

you are not crazy and no you are not overly strict. While I think it is great for children to be involved in activities and to keep busy and have so many interests, they also do need time to rest and get proper sleep. If she has to be up so early for more activities, then I would not think it is a good idea to go to the 1am movie. Can't she go another night/day to the movie?

Posted 6/29/10 3:50 PM
 

Jenbug927
LIF Infant

Member since 3/10

280 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

Believe me, that was my suggestion too... what's wrong with tomorrow afternoon; not even a full 24 hours later? But her mother didn't see a problem with only 4 hours of sleep if she even gets that many b/c she then agreed to let her sleep at a friends house instead of coming home! There's so many things I just can't understand and how you could allow your child to get away with or do. She's only 13; its not like she's 16 or older to where they're starting to understand what they need; she's only 13 and just turned 13 less than 2 weeks ago. I don't get it.

Posted 6/29/10 4:18 PM
 

Mom2010
LIF Toddler

Member since 3/10

384 total posts

Name:
Eclaire Lover

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

Is she living with you or with BM? If she's not living with BM currently (even if she's on vacation at your home), it's your house, your rules. NO WAY would my Mom allow me to go to a 1:00 a.m. movie at 13! Let alone all the other stuff she's engaged with. She needs to learn that your lives do not revolve around hers. Yes, activities are good for children but at a limit. It's not fair that you have to run crazy for this kid.

Posted 6/30/10 9:07 AM
 

Jenbug927
LIF Infant

Member since 3/10

280 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

We split the time 4 days with my DH and I and 3 days with her BM and it happened to be that one of our days was the day her BM made the decision for us which is why I got so mad... she didn't even ask my DH. My SD tried asking but my DH can't be bothered at work so he said it will have to wait until he got home but apparently that was too late for an answer and the BM just made the decision for him. I was so beside myself b/c all I can think about is the wellbeing of my SD and how 3 hours sleep is not enough to then go and do a run around again the next day... and the other fact that she is only 13 and a 1am movie is just absurd! She's not 18 yet!!!! UGH...

Posted 6/30/10 10:32 AM
 

JennasMom
?**?

Member since 11/05

3463 total posts

Name:
does it matter

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

IMHO 1am is wayyy to late for a 13 yo to go to a movie. My DS is 17 and he doesn't even go to the movies that late.

Posted 7/1/10 2:01 PM
 

Jenbug927
LIF Infant

Member since 3/10

280 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

I completely agree with you... I would never even think to ask my parents, at 13 to leave the house to go see a 1am movie. I had a curfew of 11:30 until I was 18 so to even consider a 1am movie is beyond my comprehension.

Posted 7/1/10 3:11 PM
 

luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses

Member since 5/05

8135 total posts

Name:
Kim

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

If she had no other activities to do for the whole weekend...I still wouldn't let a 13 year old go to a 1 am movie Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/1/10 4:28 PM
 

Jenbug927
LIF Infant

Member since 3/10

280 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

So I guess I'm not crazy... thank you ladies for making me feel like I didn't get upset over nothing. I appreciate your input!

Posted 7/1/10 8:55 PM
 

mom2b
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

1072 total posts

Name:
x

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

Posted by luvsun27

If she had no other activities to do for the whole weekend...I still wouldn't let a 13 year old go to a 1 am movie Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

\

Exactly...I have 13y/o son and He wouldn't be allowed to go to a 1am movie thats insane

Posted 7/7/10 11:51 PM
 

dfw343
LIF Infant

Member since 7/10

246 total posts

Name:

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

It's very hard when there are two households with different rules. Just make sure you and DH are same page. You can;t control what goes on at other house, unfortunately.

*I don't have that problem personally.

Message edited 7/8/2010 1:08:24 PM.

Posted 7/8/10 1:06 PM
 

Jenbug927
LIF Infant

Member since 3/10

280 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

That's exactly the problem; she was staying with us so I don't think her BM should've made the decision.

Posted 7/8/10 3:33 PM
 

dfw343
LIF Infant

Member since 7/10

246 total posts

Name:

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

what does your DH say about all of this?
In your house it should be your rules.
Your Dh really needs to step up and take care of it.
Cuz of course if you do, you will be the wicked SMChat Icon

Posted 7/8/10 5:28 PM
 

Jenbug927
LIF Infant

Member since 3/10

280 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

Oh I'm sure I'm already the wicked SM!! LOL... I'm just a much more disciplined person in general which my DH and SD question all the time. But my DH did agree with me on this one and he did speak to the BM about it but at the same time, he's not a forceful person. He avoids confrontation at all costs which is probably why it ends up going exactly opposite of what he originally says. He always says that if no one's getting hurt, then why waste the energy? Where I look at it as my SD is being hurt; in the long run, she is not learning important discipline lessons.

Posted 7/10/10 8:32 AM
 

dfw343
LIF Infant

Member since 7/10

246 total posts

Name:

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

well do you think it would be different if you had a bio?
Bring that up to him.

Posted 7/12/10 10:43 AM
 

RGEC47
Feeling blessed!

Member since 11/09

3039 total posts

Name:
Rosa

Re: I Have to Ask & Please tell me if I'm crazy!

Posted by luvsun27

If she had no other activities to do for the whole weekend...I still wouldn't let a 13 year old go to a 1 am movie Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



ITA! It is too late, expecially that she has been running around all day and will be just as busy the following day. The simple fact that she asked to go at that time is an indicator that she does not see how wrong it is for her age to be out that late. Hope it all worked out.

Posted 7/12/10 3:08 PM
 
 

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