How did you get past it?

i'm not a big poster on this board - because just thinking of the word pets brings me back to my angel poodle Jeffrey who died suddenly 3 years ago.

i'm STILL not over it... how can i get past it? when will it get easier? i hear the song i used to sing to him (you are my sunshine) and i weep like a baby, i see photos of him and i cry because my little girl Emma will never be able to meet her brother....

will there ever be a time that this gets easier? i'm at a loss & in tears because i just saw a few pics of him in my photo editing program...

two of my favorite photos of the best dog in the universe...





(please don't move to bereavement, i specifically want to speak about DOG loss and in most cases, that can be worse than human..i know that sounds terrible but it's true - thank you)

Re: How did you get past it?

Really, it's just time ...

Re: How did you get past it?

It's funny you should post this.
My cat passed away almost a year ago - it's coming up on the anniversary and I have been thinking a lot about it lately.
It was exactly one week after my b-day- and this year on my b-day it was all I could think about- how last year at this time I had her and then she was taken away so suddenly.
I don't think I'll ever get over the suddeness of it- that definitely makes it so much worse!

I thought I was ok with it lately- until the anniversary started coming up.
I realize now I might never be 100% ok with it- but that's normal too.
Our pets are members of our family- it's the same as losing a family member in my mind.
You never really get over it... you move on, but it's always with you.

For us, getting 2 kittens really helped ease the pain. If only to take our mind off it in the beginning. It was hard to be sad with those 2 monkies making us smile everyday.
They also filled the void in our house- it was the hardest thing in the world to come home to an empty silent house, or to wake up in the morning and not have her waiting for me.
So for us- the new cats were part of our healing process- not a replacement of course- but a new chapter.
I dont' know what I'd do without them.

All I can tell you is what you are feeling is normal and hurt like this is a part of life-it stinks and it hurts so bad.
But the other alternative is never having had your dog in your life and never experiencing all the joy he brought you. So in the long run- I think the good times outweigh the pain- no matter how bad it is...

Message edited 3/11/2010 12:46:20 PM.

Re: How did you get past it?

Posted by Wendy

Really, it's just time ...

Re: How did you get past it?

My dog passed 4 years ago and I don't think I will ever be past it. The thing helped me the most honestly was getting a puppy a few months ago. But that won't work for everyone...

Re: How did you get past it?

My dog suddenly passed a few years ago at age 7 and I was devastated. I will always love him, but honestly, getting another dog that needed a home and someone to love her really helped me.

If you think you may be ready to love another dog, I'd recommend looking at some shelters (online or in person) and see if you find a good match for your family. It will never be a replacement, but you obviously have some some love to give, and there are plenty of dogs in shelters that would love to have a family.

x

Message edited 7/15/2010 8:43:19 PM.

Re: How did you get past it?

Just time. Maybe giving all that love to a new pup. I love my boy so much I know it would be a shame to not share our family with a new Poodle when he's passed.

*Edit* I love being a Poodle Mom. I was hesitant to get another dog because I know he won't live forever & the loss is devastating. It's better to love a dog/ be loved back & say goodbye some day then to never have loved at all.

Message edited 3/11/2010 9:35:58 PM.

Re: How did you get past it?

I know it's so hard. We put Figaro to sleep a little over a year ago and I'm still upset about it. However, I have 3 other furbabies to give my love to.

What kills me the most though is when my son asks for Figaro and when he is coming back. He's only 4 but he remembers him and misses him too.

Re: How did you get past it?

I wish I knew. I don't know if I will ever get over losing Kasey. It was a really traumatic 7 weeks watching die of Cancer. There has not been a day that has gone by that I have not cried.

I can't imagine having another dog. I know eventually I will get one, but I don't know when my heart will be ready.

Re: How did you get past it?

it really is just time that will help you get past the pain. you'll never stop thinking about them and you'll always miss them...

Re: How did you get past it?

thank you so much for all of the replies everyone...really. i'm just so surprised that it's still so 'raw' for me. i can't talk about him vocally - because i'll lose it and it's just so hard....

i can't get a dog right now, because we are renting an apartment and honestly, the thought of having another dog right now is not where i am at mentally...it KILLS me to see other poodles...and then i cry...

Re: How did you get past it?

I just cant imagine how I m going to live my life. I have no answer for this

Re: How did you get past it?

For me it took time, and then frequent visits to North Shore, and then getting another dog. My dog died in July 2007 at 14 and broke my heart, and I got my puppy the first week of December 2007 when I was "ready"... it made all the difference in the world. I still miss my dog that died but that daily sadness has gone away. Still get sad that she is gone and think of her often but it does get better, I promise

Re: How did you get past it?

Lost my darling bunny dec 19th and i'm still taking it day by day. i'm better, but i think its because i'm actively trying not to think about him because it hurts too much. Easter is comming and i'm dying because of all the bunny stuff. My screen saver is the My Pictures folder and occasionally he pops up and i have to look away.

Its so hard. sending to you. we know your pain

Re: How did you get past it?

I have lost a few cats in my life and one of the only things that helps is time. I had three cats and I lost the first one 11 years ago. However I had two more living after this and that really helped. I then lost a cat in December 2005 and then the last one in January 2006. Because they were so close together it was really hard. I didn't have any pets for the next 9 months and I think that made it worse. I then got two cats and it has really helped.

While the new cats do not replace the old ones, for some reason having them has helped a lot.

Re: How did you get past it?

my sister's dog died suddenly of a heart attack about 7 months ago. she still cries sometimes when she passes by the animal hospital she brought him to.

when i lost my childhood dog I would look at photos of his breed online and it would make me feel better sometimes. i started volunteering with a rescue group. this helped me a little too. i still miss him and it's been many years, but i do more smiling than crying now.

don't be hard on yourself. you'll get past the pain.

Re: How did you get past it?

I can't believe you are posting this! I lost my dog 3 years ago too, and still miss her terribly, and am still not over losing her. She was my baby, my everything and losing her was the most devastating thing. So sorry you are going through this too.

Re: How did you get past it?

Still not over it. I get said thinking about both of my boys.

One we had to put down and the other was sick for a while and we didn't know it.

I have such guilt about that.

Re: How did you get past it?

I think it takes time. I still cry every now and then when I think of Buddy and how we had to make the decision to put him to sleep.

What helped me was fostering dogs. We fostered two dogs and we fell in love with one. The foster group actually gave her to us and I have to say she really helped. It was nice to have a dog around and she did not take the place of Buddy but I think of them as siblings.

I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about him.