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An oldie but a goodie

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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre

Member since 5/05

9320 total posts

Name:
Mrs. B

An oldie but a goodie


What Pets Write IN THEIR DIARIES.........

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......


8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary..


Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now................




Posted 11/19/09 10:01 AM
 
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MeeshMosh
last month on leave!

Member since 6/08

4551 total posts

Name:

Re: An oldie but a goodie

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i love that!!!!!

Posted 11/19/09 10:47 AM
 

DonnaJoe708
Hello

Member since 5/05

4002 total posts

Name:

Re: An oldie but a goodie

Love this!

Posted 11/19/09 10:50 AM
 

CallaLily
Thank you, Saint Gerard!

Member since 10/07

4937 total posts

Name:

Re: An oldie but a goodie

Makes me laugh every time!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 11/19/09 12:45 PM
 

DayDay
Livin' the Good Life....

Member since 9/06

5939 total posts

Name:
Dayna

Re: An oldie but a goodie

So Cute!!! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 11/19/09 12:55 PM
 

JoesWife628
Our family is complete :)

Member since 8/08

3934 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: An oldie but a goodie

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Posted 11/19/09 2:02 PM
 
 

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