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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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The joys of MIL
DH & I were talking about my MIL this morning since I am still upset about what happened. For those of you who didn't seem my post, she called the other day and was complaining to DH about the fact that I am not working full time. She has made some hurtful comments about me continuosly throughout our marriage. DH said his mother is the type to snap and then flip out and say hurtful things. He says he just takes it, is mad for a day, then gets over it. They never talk about it and just let it go. He says it is how she is, and I have to learn to deal with it. I said, I am sorry, I will NEVER learn to deal with someone saying hurtful and disrepectful things to or about me, no matter who that person is. I am really upset about this.
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Posted 4/7/06 9:01 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: The joys of MIL
It's always difficult for anyone to hear not so nice things being said about their mom. MIL issues ****. I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time.
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| Posted 4/7/06 9:04 AM |
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Pumpkin
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3353 total posts
Name:
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Re: The joys of MIL
I am sorry Daniela. First of all I read your post about finding a part time job and a sub position so congratulations.
MILS are PIA's I have one that doesnt speak, but when she does it is usually something dumb and hurtful. I also have a DH that will not open his mouth. He makes excuses too. It is not her business why you are not working. First of all it isnt like you are not trying. I mean you are not sitting home refusing to work. Does she not understand that?
Do you guys complain or ask her to borrow money? I tell my DH all the time unless my hand is out to these people they have no say and i wont listen.
I am sorry if you want to talk FM me. Try not to let it bother you. You have to focus on yourself right now and trying to find a position that you will be happy in.
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| Posted 4/7/06 9:05 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: The joys of MIL
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this right now. The hurt is always so much deeper when it comes from someone you really do want to get along with. It sounds like your DH knows that it's wrong - hence coming right out and telling you what she has said - but it also seems like after years of dealing with her his own way he doesn't quite understand how to deal with it any other way.
Let me know if you need to talk - I'm always here for you girlie!!!
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| Posted 4/7/06 9:08 AM |
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Re: The joys of MIL
That's very upsetting.
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| Posted 4/7/06 9:12 AM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: The joys of MIL
D, my MIL is the same way. SHe flips out says nasty things and expects everyone to forgive & forget. I am at a point where I will not let it go & I will not pretend like some things never happened. I am being cold and distant from her, maybe she will learn her lesson. After almost 8 years of this DH finally stepped up to the plate and pointed out that she needs to grow up & learn to applologize when she says nasty things. The best way for me is to stay away from her & not to let her moddiness get to me!!! 
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| Posted 4/7/06 9:19 AM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: The joys of MIL
Thank you all for your understanding It is tough with my MIL. She always remembers my birthday, she gave me a gift when I graduated, she can be thoughtful. The problem is that she just SNAPS and I cannot handle being the victim of her wrath.
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| Posted 4/7/06 9:32 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: The joys of MIL
No one has the right to treat you like that. I don't care who is she. My MIL and I have an extremely strained relationship. I am an open target to her comments. I had not spoke to her in 3 years, she came to the city last Saturday for a few hours. DH begged me to go see her with him. I agreed and said I would put my best foot forward, again, for him.
So we met and go out to eat. Me, Leo, MIL, and uncle. Starts instantly. "Jan are you cooking PR food for my son?"
after that I tuned out.....then left.
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| Posted 4/7/06 9:41 AM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: The joys of MIL
"Jan are you cooking PR food for my son?"
what?????
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| Posted 4/7/06 9:44 AM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
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Re: The joys of MIL
Posted by Janice
. "Jan are you cooking PR food for my son?"
MIL, are you cooking any irish food for Jan? 
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| Posted 4/7/06 9:45 AM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: The joys of MIL
Seriously
Sorry Jan
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| Posted 4/7/06 9:51 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: The joys of MIL
Posted by DMcK
Seriously
Sorry Jan
 rebecca you are too funny. I am okay with it though. i am not 16 anymore and distressed over her not liking me. I was so worried about winning them over and being respectful, that now I just don't care......
I think it is a mutual thing. If you show her respect, she should give it to you. If she is snapping, then she should expect to be snapped. In all honesty, I already had a 350.00 chip on my shoulder. MIL is unemployed, and we were asked to pay for her plane ticket.....and pick up lunch, apps, entree, dessert, coffee, it was LUNCH!! who does that?
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| Posted 4/7/06 9:57 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: The joys of MIL
Posted by LadyLainez
"Jan are you cooking PR food for my son?"
what?????
 
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| Posted 4/7/06 9:59 AM |
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BMonster
:)
Member since 2/06 2959 total posts
Name:
Denise
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Re: The joys of MIL
I had to seriously talk to DH about how much what his Mom said about me hurt & bothered me and how important it is for him to stick up for me. I hope you can get Rob to understand he needs to do that too, Daniela
Message edited 4/7/2006 10:41:32 AM.
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| Posted 4/7/06 10:40 AM |
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jersee3380
He's here!!
Member since 5/05 1372 total posts
Name:
caroline
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Re: The joys of MIL
ugh MIL! dont get me started! sounds like we've got the same one! she says stupid insensitive things ALL the time, and constantly talks about the past and it just makes me sick. DH finally stood up and put her in her place and we have not spoken since January -- and it has been GREAT!! no drama!
can you talk to her? tell her you don't appreciate her tone sometimes? DH sounds like he is used to how she is and probably doesn't "hear" things like you do b/c he's heard them all his life
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| Posted 4/7/06 10:56 AM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: The joys of MIL
Augghhh!!
I would seriously go directly to your MIL and tell her you don't appreciate her talking bad about you to your dh. Furthermore, it's none of her business nor should she be concerned about your job. I don't think telling your DH will do anything because his way of dealing with his mom is to ignore her....not good for you.
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| Posted 4/7/06 12:05 PM |
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bklyngirl
COULD THIS BE MY YEAR??
Member since 6/05 15758 total posts
Name:
Gail
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Re: The joys of MIL
i'm sorry your going through this maybe have your dh sit down and talk to his mom about this. he should tell her how hurt u r.
u know where to find me if u want to talk. you've been helping me the past few days. it will get better
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| Posted 4/7/06 1:54 PM |
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