Is there any hope? UPDATE 2

Hi All. I haven’t posted until now because I have been lurking and learning, but I really could use some support right now from people who’ve been there. Since I’m a newbie, background first so you have a sense of what my experience is. Please bear with me, I will get to my question! I had a MC about 18 months ago when I was in my 6th week, and at age 35. This was my first pregnancy. DH and I weren’t “seriously” trying, but it was definitely desired. We had hoped getting pregnant could be a casual thing. After MC was complete, I switched to a new ob/gyn. I had moved, wanted someone closer, and had never really liked my old ob practice anyway. DH and I continued ttc with no success, but I also think we were being a bit lax with the “schedule.” Last summer, my cycles became irregular, and I started getting AF early. Went to see doc, she wasn’t too concerned but was open to doing some preliminary testing. She suggests SA for DH, and sono and HSG for me. I held off on the HSG, I figured do the sono first and see if HSG was really needed, and DH did SA. My sono looked fine, his SA came back with a few issues, not overall terrible, but slightly low volume, low normal forms, count fine. We repeated SA and came back with similar issues. Doc recommended he see urologist, and because my cycle still irregular, we decided to meet with RE. I had learned more about some of the things the RE’s do on this site, and I figured why bounce around to a bunch of random docs when we could get things done with one. This January, we had our consult with RSofNY (Dr. Stelling/Stonybrook). They recommended a urologist for DH, and would of course do BW on me. The plan, if we wanted to, would be to start with Clomid and IUI. I finally went for HSG (ouch!), and DH consulted with uro. DH has variocele, and will have procedure in May to get rid of. My HSG results were perfect, tubes, uterus ok. We were away in February, so my first cycle with RSof NY was March. Got AF on 3/7. Since so far my testing was ok, we opted to monitoring and timed intercourse to start. I wanted a baseline first before starting and meds or procedures, because I figured once you start, you don’t go back! All early BW was good, no problems with FSH or other hormones. Since AF was coming early, they thought maybe I had issues with luteal phase. I surged on 3/20, and DH and I did the deed as required! On 3/27 more BW, and found out my progesterone was low (7), so they started me on Endometrin 2x/day, in case I was PG. I was a little concerned about taking meds, but after some research it made sense, so went along with it…

On 4/2, went in for beta, and it was BFP. We couldn’t believe it, and really didn’t think it could happen like this. We were thrilled, but guarded due to prior MC. Since then I have continued on the Endometrin, and have gone back weekly for BW and Sonos. All was going well. Last Wednesday, I thought I saw some spotting when I woke up. I called RS right away and came in for another sono. All was okay, embie had grown from 4.5 mm on Monday to 7 mm, HR was 85 bpm. BW done and was fine, no spotting all day and since then. Yesterday, we went for another sono. I had gotten to the point where I thought this was going to happen, and had let my guard down. As soon as they started sono, I knew something was wrong. I saw large sac, but had trouble making out embie. Sonographer said it had not progressed as much as it should have, heartbeat was there but slow. She couldn’t even get a measure on it. I have an appointment Thursday for another sono, nothing to do but wait and see. The BW from that day was fine, but when I spoke with the nurse she told me the baby measured 5.5, which means it had to have shrunk from last Wednesday. I couldn’t go on to work yesterday, I was a complete mess. DH stayed home with me, God bless him. At this point, is there any hope? I feel that the writing is on the wall, and it is only a matter of time.

Any insights, advice, and words of wisdom is greatly welcomed. Thanks to all for reading.

Message edited 5/2/2009 12:07:01 PM.

Re: Is there any hope?

first off i want to welcome u to this board - the ladies here are wonderful and have been helpful during our if struggle as well.

THe first thing that popped into my mind was if u had the same tech measuring?

I know this is a stressful time for u.

I am sorry u are going thru this "unknowing" time and pray things work out.
When are u supposed to go back? DId u talk to dr stelling or the nurse practitioner ? (susans awesome there at RSofNY in stonybrook)

Good luck - kup.

Re: Is there any hope?

Thanks for your post! I did not have the same tech, I hope that makes a difference. We are going back Thursday morning. I met with Dr. Cain immediately after, and spoke with Fran later on when she called with the BW results. Just seems like a wait and see thing until then. Even though I met with Dr. Stelling for our consult, I have seen Dr. Cain every time, she and I seem to be on the same schedule. She basically said she is concerned, and to reschedule my ob/gyn appointment, which was this week. They were planning on releasing me yesterday before this news. Dr. Cain said that they will take care of me for now, whatever way things turn out. Fran gave me the information about the baby's size, at that point I recovered some brain function and was able to ask more questions. I did some research online last nite, and did not find anything too encouraging, so I stopped torturing myself. I am 7w3d, and the baby is now about a week behind where they want things to be.

Re: Is there any hope?

Just wanted to say hi and welcome.
Don't give up hope!

Re: Is there any hope?

I hate being the harbinger of doom, but I am also a realist.
As soon as I read the HB was 85, I had a sense of foreboding. That is not a good sign. HB should be over 120 right off the bat. The fact that the HB has slowed even more is not good either.

IMO - Hope for the best, but expect the worst.
BTW, I just had a close friend go through the exact same thing and I think it sux - a chemical or straight up M/C is easier to deal with than this slowing HB thing....

I'm really, really sorry....

Re: Is there any hope?

I like Gerty am a firm believer in tell it like it is. To answer your question, yes, there is always hope. However,... I have met with Dr. Cain on many occassions. She is a straight shooter. If she is concerned, I most certainly would be concerned as well. I am sorry for your past loss and the possibilit of your recent one as well.

Re: Is there any hope?

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I'm hoping and praying for the best

Re: Is there any hope? UPDATE

So I went for sono today and it was bad news. No growth, no hb. At least I was prepared, so I actually am doing ok right now. I think I am more drained really. Dr. Cain spoke with us about our options now and answered all of our questions. The staff has been great through the good and the bad. We can either let it happen, take meds to let it happen, or have D&C. My first thought was D&C, but I think DH is really worried about that. I don't have to decide right away, which is good, and I can choose to have a procedure at anytime. For now I have to stop meds, and just try to deal with all this again. DH has been so supportive, so that helps a lot. Thanks to all for your posts, prayers, and support

Re: Is there any hope?

I'm so so sorry about this. Something very similiar happened to me last summer. I ended up having the D&C because I was so drained by the whole experience I just wanted it over with. I wish you all the best and pray that you will get your BFP again soon

Re: Is there any hope?

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going with through with this

We are all here for you

Re: Is there any hope? UPDATE

Re: Is there any hope? UPDATE

Re: Is there any hope? UPDATE

Re: Is there any hope? UPDATE

I'm so sorry

Re: Is there any hope? UPDATE

im really sorry to hear about ur loss.



i had 2 mc and had a d&c done the first time and took the meds the second time. I couldnt wait for it to happen naturally. I didnt want to get a D&C the second time aorund and took meds . The meds work really fast (they started working within 2 hrs of taking them)

i am really sorry for ur loss

Re: Is there any hope? UPDATE

After a sleepless nite Thursday, I spoke with DH and I am opting for a D&C. At first I thought I would just wait for it to happen, but I started thinking that there was no guarantee that it would go the same as my last MC. Also, the thought of waiting and wondering when it would happen started to make me nuts. I am now questioning based on the above post if I should have tried the meds, but I am scheduled for Monday for the D&C, so I am gonna stick with the decision. Met with Dr. Cain again yesterday and she was great, very self assured, direct, and understanding. I hope that the procedure goes smoothly without any complications, and maybe we'll get some useful info from the pathology report.

Thanks to all again for the support. I will definately be back to chat about how to go forward after all this. A part of me questions whether I can go through TTC again. I know you all have been there!