My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

He is 5'10 and weighs 210 lbs. His belly is getting bigger everyday and yet, he refuses to accept the fact that he is getting into dangerous territory. When I met him he weighed about 20-30 pounds less than he does now. Nothing I say or do can convince him. Any suggestions on how to get him to get serious about his weight?

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

good luck, you're not alone

Message edited 1/27/2010 2:50:25 AM.

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

His healthy weight range would be about 150-183. Right now his BMI (body mass index is 30 which is categorized as obese, overweight goes to 29.9)

I would recommend to him that he should get some bloodwork done. The MD would most likely bring up the weight issue and save yourself from any arguements.
Good Luck!

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

I would definitely stop saying things to him about it right now. I, as many as of have, struggled with my weight for many years, and the last thing I would ever want or that would have been helpful to me, was my spouse or a loved one continually saying things to me.

You see a lot of posters on this board, or friends in real life, say things like, "I hit my rock bottom - so I started a diet." It's the same thing - HE needs to be ready, HE needs to want to change and make changes, HE needs to hit HIS rockbottom before he'll be ready to want to make changes.

I would just make some changes in your lives and around the house without really focusing on his weight - make sure there is no junk in the house, encourage exercise and walks with him, things like that.

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

My DH is the same height and about 8.5 years ago was 273lbs. He lost a total of about 90lbs in a year. Then we got married . We are together 7.5 years and he is back up to 245. I don't push him at all. I know he wants to loose the weight and I know he can since he already did it. I am just trying to figure out how he plans on doing it since he is a picky eater and only eats a handful of veggies and only cooked a certain way, doesn't want to join the gym and doesn't eat enough throughout the day.
I have been going to the gym for 2 months and I really thought by me going he would want to go too and we could go together since they have babysitting their. I guess when he is ready he will do it. I still love him to pieces

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

Thanks Ladies...I actually only started bringing this up to him last week when we cleaned out his closet and dresser. So much stuff didn't fit. I also worry because we just had our DD in December and I want him to be around for her for a long time. I lost my Dad when I was 10, so I guess it's partly my own fear for her.

However, we were at a birthday party tonight where they had cake, cupcakes and brownies for dessert. I asked him if he wanted a piece of cake or a cupcake. He said "yes and yes." I said which one? and his reply was " I am a grown azz man and can decide what I want to eat for dessert. I think I'll have a brownie too." And he did!



I didn't say anything.

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

See, my DH is an athletic guy but has been SO busy with going to college full-time, student teaching, working for his dad, etc. that he physically can't work out right now - just no time. He eats well to maintain and is looking forward to May when school is done and he'll have time... What a shame that your DH isn't motivated! I would take a pic of him and maybe him seeing himself in a picture will make him realize -- OR show him a pic from when you first met and have him look at that vs. him in the mirror. The other thing is taking him to the doc or to a trainer and having them measure his percent body fat.

Unfortunately, nothing can MAKE someone care.

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

The best you can do is just try and set a good example.


ITA It has to be his choice and its really tough to not scream "you need to lose weight" !!!

My dh gained about 30 lbs since we met 5 yrs ago, I gained 20-ish. It was noticeable in pictures, his clothes, etc. He was aware of it but just did nothing. I decided I was going to start working out & eating better and he slowly joined me. He'd try to get me to "have some too" whenever he'd eat something fattening. We started a little competition amongst our friends and NOW we've both lost over 20 lbs & really enjoy eating right & doing our work out routines !! His will power is great now and I'm very proud of him !

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

Posted by azoodie

Posted by mrswask
I would just make some changes in your lives and around the house without really focusing on his weight - make sure there is no junk in the house, encourage exercise and walks with him, things like that.

I 1000% agree with Miki. As someone who has had a weight problem her entire life, I can assure you that anyone else's opinion (even from the people I loved most) had no bearing on my desire to get healthy. None.

The best you can do is just try and set a good example.

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

Mine too. He looks 9 mos preggo (all belly, we must be having another boy! ) He doesnt care though. Eating crap is more important. I actually am only puttin ghealthy stuff in the house now and he says e refuses to eat it and will go out on his own to buy what he likes.

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

i was just having this conversation with my dh last might according to the BMI calculator he is considered obese !! I told him he needs to change his eating habits if he wants to be around for our girls. The biggest headache i get is that i prepare his lunch and dinner so he can take to work and he still eats out ! . I really don't know what to do.

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

i was once in the place that your dh is. i gained almost 40 pounds in the first year and a half i was with my SO.

i never even realized it... and i still wonder how i never noticed gaining that much weight but i just ate what my so did and we did very sedentary activities like movies or watching tv. i was never into fitness or the gym so it just crept up on me. when dh tried to push me to get to the gym or workout i fought back so hard! i hated being told and pushed to go to the gym and lose weight... and that's all i saw it as. torture. something to just 'lose weight' which for some people it is. but that didn't work for me because i wasn't that hung up on my weight. what finally did work for me was when i decided to make it into a lifestyle. so (he's now dh) and i started walking our dog, or going for jogs or whatever... anythiing to get us active. we made meals together so they were healthier... i had to do it for me and then when i did, i started to realize how much i let myself go. its hard when fitness isn't part of your lifestyle to just get into it, you know?

so maybe try to avoid the weight issue and just suggest doing active things together... it's getting nicer out so maybe ride bikes, go for a walk... do things that are active but not only for the benefit of weight loss. hiking, rollerblading... be creative! maybe if its more of a lifestyle thats eased into, it can be easier to embrace.

now i can't imagine my life without working out! but i had to do it for me... and the motivation was never weight loss. it's weird but that just didn't click for me. hope that helps!

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

MY DH is really overweight too, he won't get on a scale but he's at least 210 if not more. It really upsets me and he eats like cr@p. MIL has even offered him $$ to lose weight. But here's what I've learned - you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Your DH will do it when he's ready, and hopefully, so will mine.

Re: My DH refuses to acknowledge he is overweight

I have this problem with my husband as well.... he eats crap & doesn't recognize the seriousness of being overweight, although I'm not one to talk since I'm the same way so we're both bad.... but I've been trying to get him into the healthy living... we got gym memberships & work out together, also when he loses a few pounds I make sure to mention how good he looks so he'll want to keep it up. It's hard though since you can't force a person to do something if they aren't motivated on their own.