My RE is pregnant. (vent and update)

It's like a really cruel joke.

My RE is pregnant. I learned this today while she was speaking with DH and I after my exam with a special radiologist (no visible ectopic, beta is still rising slowly but will never double, cysts are still large and painful). Words were coming out of her mouth, but all I could do was stare at her considerable bump in disbelief. Thank goodness I had DH with me to keep up the conversation.

I've been trying to figure out how I could have not noticed this before -- maybe because I'm usually laying down on the table

Would it have been unreasonable for the RE to say something during any of the previous six visits I had with her over the past month alone? Am I asking too much? Just a simple, "I want you to be aware..." or "This may be difficult for you to hear..." would have been perfect.

DH doesn't want me to switch to a new RE until my non-viable pregnancy is resolved. I figure, the RE's going to be on a leave soon anyway, why not switch now.

Re: My RE is pregnant. (vent and update)

It's an awkward situation....

It's not really required for her to say anything because she's doing her job ..but I guess it would have been nice.

I mean, looking at it from a devil's advocate POV, she can't put her job on hold for a few months just bc of people's sensitivity...

But I get what you are saying.

Re: My RE is pregnant. (vent and update)

Definitely an awkward situation!

How far along is she?

I totally can understand how weird you must have felt and how uncomfortable... but at the same time I don't think she has an obligation to tell you until she feels comfortable doing so. Maybe she just didn't want to mention it now because of what you are going through? She could have been waiting for a good time... I dunno.

I really am trying to put myself in your shoes - but my RE is a man!

I can completely understand why you are upset though... but who knows - maybe she's having a baby courtesy of IVF too!

Re: My RE is pregnant. (vent and update)

I would think that this might be a sore spot for many of her patients so perhaps she is also afraid of losing patients which is why she never mentioned it.

Message edited 2/5/2009 12:15:52 PM.

Re: My RE is pregnant. (vent and update)

First of all, I am sorry for your medical situation right now. It must be so difficult, I myself have had several miscarriages and I can imagine your pain. I too have been down the IF road (unexplained infertility and eventually concieved on my own twice without medical intervention) so I can understand the road you are currently travelling.

However, I do not think your RE is obligated in any way shape or form to discuss/explain HER situation with or to you.

I wish you the best of luck and much

Re: My RE is pregnant. (vent and update)

Wow that is an awkward situation..I bet she feels awkward too.

I go to a male RE as well and can't imagine what you are going through.

Re: My RE is pregnant. (vent and update)

I totally get what you are saying. I just had a m/c and the pain of losing a baby and the raw emotions and anger you feel make everything pregnancy related worse. I had to wait in my ob's office a few weeks ago to schedule my D&C and just sitting in the waiting room surrounded by pg women I thought I was seriously going to lose my mind!!!

Re: My RE is pregnant. (vent and update)

Thanks, all.

I would guess she's around 6 months.

The PP is right about the raw emotions. My feelings of shock and anger felt like a visceral reaction.

Re: My RE is pregnant. (vent and update)

I don't see why this is a big deal. I don't expect everyone in my life to hold off on their family plans while I deal with my own efforts to get pregnant.

Why not look at her pregnancy as a positive sign, frankly I'd be more concerned if she has ffertility issues of her own she wasn't able to overcome