Those of you who had a m/c...

when it was time to 'start up' again- were you fearful and nervous? I have been SO looking forward to starting- but I just got the call from the pharmacy who will be mailing out my meds and I had a mild panic attack I think... is this normal?
I KNOW I can't think that way- b/c it could've just been a fluke thing, and it was God's way of telling me it wasn't time yet (though I would've preferred a BFN instead)..... but I'm actually scared right now. Tell me this is normal and I'll get over this please.....
I hate feeling like this. Excited yet nervous and happy yet scared...... ah the joys of TTC. I feel robbed of the innocence of TTC (hopefully that makes sense).

Re: Those of you who had a m/c...

Shannon,

You completely make sense.
I am excited, nervous and scared to death. All of these feelings are perfectly natural. But I will pass something on to you that I will try to do the next time I become pregnant, because I spent the last pregnancy being scared every minute and paranoind every minute. Worrying will not change the outcome, whatever it will be, good or bad. And although I will never enter another pregnancy with the innocence some people have, I will try my hardest with everything I am to enjoy it and not worry. I only made myself and my husband crazy.

we'll be ok, I promise!

Re: Those of you who had a m/c...

I wish i could lie to you right now.. but this has been my BIGGEST struggle since I got my BFP.. i am convinced every time I go to the Dr its going to be over for me.. Its very difficult.. it got better when I saw the 2nd h/B monday... But it is creeping up on me again today because I go tomorrow to a high risk specialist and get another Sono.. This time I hope to hear it.. But I know how you feel more than you know.. Sorry.. its horrible.. please try to realx..

Re: Those of you who had a m/c...

Thanks guys. I am starting to think I'm nuts. I will do my best to NOT stress come CD1- b/c I know that stress can't help a situation like this---- and can only hurt it. My hope is that I can convince my brain once I'm in the next cycle that it's a clean slate and that was just a fluke thing.... and then leave it in God's hands....
I refuse to test this time before my beta (that's my plan as of now)- I learned my lesson last time- and am kind of glad I did in a way- b/c at least I got to feel that 'secret' of just DH and I knowing (little did we know) for a few days, even before the Dr. --- and just getting that chance to think things were finally ok, you know? I don't think we'll have that when we get our BFP b/c as you both said- I think the worry will be there.

Re: Those of you who had a m/c...

Posted by dilb712

I wish i could lie to you right now.. but this has been my BIGGEST struggle since I got my BFP.. i am convinced every time I go to the Dr its going to be over for me.. Its very difficult.. it got better when I saw the 2nd h/B monday... But it is creeping up on me again today because I go tomorrow to a high risk specialist and get another Sono.. This time I hope to hear it.. But I know how you feel more than you know.. Sorry.. its horrible.. please try to realx..

Re: Those of you who had a m/c...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, no matter what your travels on IF, having a miscarriage, whether through IF or not, changes you forever. It steals a little part of your innocence and makes you face the harsh reality of life, very quickly.

I had an m/c before I had my DD. When I found out I was pregnant again I was TERRIFIED. T.E.R.R.I.F.I.E.D. Not just the first trimester, the entire journey. And heading into IVF this week, I STILL carry the same terror inside of me from that early m/c I had years ago.

But you know what, it's ok, because it helps you stay grounded, and remember how much of a miracle this process really is. And you always have us to freak out with

Re: Those of you who had a m/c...

I had a m/c 2 months into my pregnancy. I am terrified of it happening again. Especially after we pay for IVF. The first time I got pregnant naturally.

I definitely feel robbed of the ability to ever enjoy being pregnant. I was robbed of thinking up some creative way to tell my family/friends.

Re: Those of you who had a m/c...

Yes, I was terrified to start a new cycle. I remember when I went to the RE to get my trigger done and the nurse said I looked nervous. She thought it was because I was scared of the shot. I told her it wasn't that, it was that I was scared this cycle wouldn't work, and at the same time I was nervous I would get pregnant again because I was scared I would miscarry again.
This whole pregnancy has been full of fear, I have never been able to fully relax and enjoy it. Every cramp, every twinge, every little thing I have worried about, and I know I wouldn't have been so nervous about everything if I hadn't been through the miscarriage. I will be 30 weeks tomorrow, and although I think finally I am starting to feel a little better that the babies will be ok, I am always thinking about the things that could go wrong.
I hated feeling this way, but I will admit when I reached 24 weeks I was able to breathe a little bit of a sigh of relief because I knew that was the point of viability - that my babies would have a chance after that point, that it wouldn't be certain death if something were to happen.
Miscarriage definitely changes you and takes away the innocence and some of the joy of pregnancy. It is horribly unfortunate in many ways. But you are certainly not alone.

And you know, anytime you need to talk, I'll be there.

Re: Those of you who had a m/c...

Thanks everyone. I know we've talked about this before, but that was before I had a m/c and I truly didn't realize I guess..... I'll just take it one day at a time, that's all we can do anyway, right?

Re: Those of you who had a m/c...

I had my M/c before we started with the RE and I had the same feelings you do now.
I actually cried after the first time we had sex It was very emotional. take care of you a little and good luck with your next cycle.

Re: Those of you who had a m/c...

I felt that way after every BFN cycle. It was no different after my chemical PG. Had I miscarried farther along than the getting a chemical PG I am sure it would have been worse.