I need to start handing out pamphlets

Whenever Lilly and I go anywhere, we get asked the same questions over and over and over and over. I would LOVE to make up a handout that answers the questions. It would go a little something like this:

- I am an Italian Greyhound - NOT a whippet, NOT a baby greyhound, NOT a deer

- Yes, I am SURE I'm not a whippet

- Yes, my parents feed me

- I am full grown, not a puppy

- Yes, I am a fast runner and NO my mom won't let me loose so you can see how fast I actually am

- I know my legs are long and skinny, but please, if you think I'm odd looking, keep the comments to yourself. You're no prize either.

- No, my collar is NOT too big for me, anything smaller would put undue pressure on my skinny neck.

- For the last time, my parents DO feed me

- I am high maintenance- I need constant attention and will whine if my beloved parents aren't in my line of vision

- Believe it or not, I spend most of my time at home curled up in the couch or on my bed - it's all of your silly questions that are making me jump around like a loon.

Re: I need to start handing out pamphlets

Mine would be:

"Yes, he is chocolate. No, not brown. Chocolate."

"He is 10 months old."

"I don't think his paws are that big but ok, if you say so."

"Brinkley. No, not Wrinkley, BRINKLEY. No, not after Christie Brinkley. No, I've never heard of a newscaster named Brinkley. It's a name from a movie. Nevermind. We just made it up."

Re: I need to start handing out pamphlets

OMG, these are great! Mine would be:

He's a DOMESTIC CAT not a wild animal.

He does not look like a tiger, tigers have stripes, he has spots.

He's just a CAT.

No, he's not from Africa.

No, he won't get any bigger.

He's a CAT.

Yes, he walks on a leash, you see him here walking on his leash, don't you??

No, he is not permitted to 'run loose' outside.

It's a CAT. A regular cat, like a Persian or a Siamese.

Yes, he was expensive. Thank you, i am glad you think I wasted my money and should have adopted instead. I spend hours volunteering every week, have homed over 20 cats, buy the food and actually feed a feral colony of 35 cats every day and donated thousands of dollars to spay/neuter everyone else's cats, adopting ONE cat would have been a MUCH bigger contribution. Thanks for your input

Re: I need to start handing out pamphlets

People actually ask you if you feed your dog enough??? You should say back - "isn't one piece of kibble a day enough?"

Re: I need to start handing out pamphlets

A DEER???? what idiot would ask if she was a deer?

Re: I need to start handing out pamphlets

I like this. Lilly doesn't look like a deer! What a dumbarse.

Ok here's Katie's

-NO she's not a puppy and she doesn't get bigger

-YES, she's a Jack Russell Terrier

-NO she's NOT nasty!

-YES she's friendly(as she's licking the persons face)