Can anyone relate?

Ok, so after years of TTC and working with an RE for a year now we have gotten no where. Even my first month on injectibles started out promising but I ended up with ONE follicle. On the same day i find this out (about 4 days before my IUI) my sister informs me (at work no less) that she is pregnant...with number 4...finding out AFTER my BIL had a vasectomy about 2-3 weeks ago. Too little too late for sure! So basically this is an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy and I have injected myself with enough stims to knock up an elephant and get one follicle.
Here's the thing that has me most in a tizzy...my Mom finds this out and has not said ONE WORD to me...not am I'm sorry, How are you dealing with this, Are you OK...nada. I'm so flippin mad. Not like I'm looking for a pity party but COME ON...just ask how I am for G*d's sake.
So am I being selfish or am I justified in how I feel? Hs anyone dealt with this and how did you keep from driving off a cliff?
Thanks for any input!
--Shawnna

Re: Can anyone relate?

Totally justified and this too shall pass.

We have been at this for four years and were doing IVF for almost a year when my BF told me she was PG. She has two children already and this was a totally unplanned, unwanted pregnancy. She waited to tell me cuz she felt bad, but at the same time we are friends so she wanted to tell me herself. It was very, very difficult for me at first...but in the long run, this is nature's course. There is nothing we can do about it except keep trying for ourselves. Because, in the end, all that really matters is you and your DH. And hopefully, a baby.....

Noone really understands us unless they have been through it. They never know what to say or when.

Re: Can anyone relate?

It's really hard on both ends to go through this I think. It's hard on our end b/c of all that we go through and how much effort goes into all of this for the chance that we will get pregnant, not to mention stay pregnant if we manage to get there.
I think in the past month I have heard more 'I don't know what to say' comments than I ever had in my life- and you know what, it's justified. How can someone who hasn't been in our shoes know what to say really, right?
I posted a thread about something similar in the past couple of weeks, about how hurt I was that my best guy friend just didn't respond after my telling him what I had just gone through.
He finally called me this past week- and I couldn't pick up b/c I was at a lunch appointment so then he texted me and I responded and he claimed that his mom had come over in the middle of our text conversation- which was why he hadn't responded. I responded that I figured it was b/c he didn't know what to say- and he didn't deny it. His mom lives a few blocks away- so you know she wasn't at his house for a week and a half or more- so he could've responded at a different day, like the next day or something.... but I just think people don't understand and sometimes not saying anything is how they choose to be there for you, though I know that's not how we'd like it.
I have a strong feeling that my SIL is going to announce in the next month that she's pg.... they always seem to want their kids 3 -3 1/2 years apart and their youngest turned 2 in may so the math adds up. I don't know how I'm going to react when she tells me. I'm terrified about having to face that day to be honest. I'll be happy for them, but even more sad for us, moreso now than I woud've been a month or so ago after all that we've been through. IF just sucks.....

Re: Can anyone relate?

I understand where you are. My family (Mom Dad and sister) just don't get it.

My Dad thinks I should just give up..I've lost 3 and I'm 40, my time has passed he says, and I should move on. I was very upset by this.

My Mom, well, medically she gets it, she's a nurse, but keeps alot of things to herself, I know sometimes she just doesn't know what to say.

My sister, well, got pregnant on the first try with the first one and it was a perfect pregnacy. Unfortunately, her 2nd one did not turn out that way and even though she doesn't have a problem getting pregnant, she will now understand my losses.


As Shannon said, IF sucks and sometimes people just don't know what to say.