Extremely controversial question.

What are your thoughts on Selective Reduction?

I know I may get some disapproving comments from this, but I am just curious as to how all of you feel about this. I was talking to my mom about it over the weekend, and I just can't imagine what I would do if I was lucky enough to get pregnant, and then was told I had to think about doing this procedure. I did some research on it and was tearing up just thinking about it. I am really freaked out that I may eventually have to make that decision. WWYD?

Re: Extremely controversial question.

I voted for I don't know what I would do unless I was in that situation.

My heart tells me that I would not consider itl; however, if I was actually put in that situation and the lives of my babies were ALL at risk, I can't be sure of what I would do.

I know that John and Kate were extremely blessed to have 6 healthy and happy babies; however, this is not always the case for multiples.

I honestly don't know what we would do and I pray that we are never put in a position where we would have to make this kind of huge decision.

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I have no problem answering. I think there was a thread quite a while back about. I know what I will have to say won't be the most popular, and if I get flamed, so be it....

At my IVF consult, we discussed with the RE how we would handle the transfer. Due to my age, and the quality of my eggs the RE strongly recommended 3 embies transferred back on a day 3 transfer, and 2 on a day 5. He told us that If all 3 embryo's took, based on my age and medical history that he would strongly advise us that we should do a selective reduction. It would be dangerous for my health and for all 3 babies should I try to carry them to term/delivery. Obviously in the end the choice would be ours.

The way I felt about it was this: I've waited SO long to get pregnant, that I'd be so scared to put my entire pregnancy at risk to lose all the babies. I also didn't want to put my own life at risk. While I knew it would be the hardest decision to ever have to make, I would do what was best for my health. In the end of course, I didn't have to make that decision. I also knew that chances were we would NOT have had to made any such decision just based on my history, embryo quality, etc. We thought we might have had to when the Dr. thought he saw 3 sacs at my 2nd sono. As it was, I had a twin pregnancy and lost one of my twins at 7 weeks.

It's a HIGHLY personal decision for a couple to have to make, and nobody should ever be judged for what they decide.

Re: Extremely controversial question.

Thank you for the honest replies.

This is not something that my Dr. brought up, but he DID tell me that due to my age (23) and the PCOS, there was a very good chance I would have multiples, and he said that IVF would be the best way to go.
I do not have the money to do IVF. Therefore, we are doing a medicated IUI, using follistim and a trigger. I am on a tiny dose for right now (25IU for 5 days) and then I go in and see how I am responding to that- and I suppose we will adjust as needed.

I laugh about the possibility of triplets or more with DH and tell him that I am glad he has an open mind, because it could very well happen. I don't know how he feels about this, though. I guess I really don't know what I would do until I spoke to a perinatologist and knew the risks of NOT doing it, and my chances of having healthy babies.

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okay - the moron raises her hand and says i don't know what this means.

going to do some reading and will give you my honest answer.

Re: Extremely controversial question.

There are a lot of variables...
For me, it's not even an issue. I'd be lucky to get PG with one.
But, a few years ago - they were very concerned about it and I had to have a whole conversation regarding it.
The reality is that age is a huge factor in multiples. The older you are, the harder to carry to term. So, it comes down to whether or not you are willing to risk all of your babies for one or do selective reduction and risk losing all of them early.
It's a very tough, personal decision. Four years ago, I said I wouldn't do it.
Now, if it ever happened - I probably would because I already lost my son due to incompetent cervix and I was told I wouldn't be able to carry even twins safely. But, if I could find a way to get away without doing SR, I would do whatever was necessary to avoid it.

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i just wanted to lighten up this thread with the fact that the episode of the Simpsons that is on is the one where Apu and his wife have issues getting pregnant (and will eventually have MULTIPLES - like 8)....

Message edited 9/15/2008 7:17:37 PM.

Re: Extremely controversial question.

I should have voted yes but I just can't even answer that question without feeling really weird. I have a t-shaped uterus and i will be high risk with one. I've been told that having 2 in there for me would be like someone else having 4. But, they don't know. I could be fine with 2, no one really knows how your body is going to react. But, I am 40 and the odds of two are so slim. I mean my RE will put back up to 5 if I have that many. So, I am not going to worry about it and concentrate on getting the one good egg fertilized in 2 weeks.

Re: Extremely controversial question.

I think this is a very personal decision that should be left to the couple (or single woman if that were the case) and the doctor. Gather all the facts and make an informed decision you can live with. You have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror everyday and the child/children that came about from your decision. Persoanlly, if my health was in danger I'd have to go with reduction as I couldn't image leaving a new baby or babies mother-less. What would be the point of that?

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It would kill me, but if I had to, I would do it.

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Re: Extremely controversial question.

I have a friend who was faced with this situation and she went through with the reduction. There is no way she could have physically and successfully carried all three to term. I give her alot of credit for her decision because I know in my heart I just couldn't do it. But I'm of a different body type/etc. I think I would try to pull it off and have all three.

Re: Extremely controversial question.

I have been in this situation and personally I could not do it.

When we went for our 8 week appt with our OB, a third baby had popped up on the screen. We knew we were having twins but this triplet came as a big surprise to us. It was measuring a little smaller than the twins but it had a heartbeat.

Our doctor weighed all of our options on the table, the risk to the babies, the risk to myself, etc.. if we decided to keep the third baby and also if we decided to do the selective reduction.

After struggling for 2 1/2 years (and 2 miscarriages) just to get pregnant we decided that we didnt want to tempt fate and also we are very religious and if God was going to bless us with 3 babies then it was meant to be.

As it turns out we didnt have to make the decision to selective reduce, by our next appt the 3rd baby stopped growing.