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Domino
Always My Miracle

Member since 9/05 9924 total posts
Name:
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IF related but not-Please help
I need some advice. I am a paralegal for a law firm in Manhattan. I work for the senior partner and have worked for him for five years. Since the beginning of my infertility journey, I have gradually lost my focus. Things have been slipping. I can't concentrate. I've been taking off days. I am making mistakes. I am missing court dates. We are short support staff and three months ago we hired another attorney who I am handling as well. I cannot keep up with the work and am getting talked to on nearly a weekly basis. Today I decided to try and focus since he was out of the office today and have come across a stack of work that got buried under non work stuff that I haven't looked at in months. Everything in this pile was time sensitive and court ordered or legal statute related time sensitive deadline related. The minute I saw this my stomach completely dropped. There is no excuse. Its completely incompetent. It is on the level of malpractice and could lose clients. All I want to do is cry. I really dont know if I am in the right frame of mind to deal with this. My first thought is to bring this to the attorney's attention on Monday. I have my beta on Monday. I already know what happened last IVF failed cycle and dont know if I can go through any sort of confrontation, explanation in a non-emotional manner. I am going to cry and if I have to do this when I get a BFN well I dont know WHAT I will do. I am embarrassed, scared, and a whole list of other emotions that I cannot put into words. I am leaving this office in 45 minutes to go home and cant get myself to formulate a plan of action. I have people coming to my house this weekend. I am so overwhelmed. I feel like resigning and never coming back to work. Have I mentioned I'm sick over this? Please help me. I think I'm having a breakdown.
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Posted 9/12/08 3:46 PM |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Donna
1 year already!!

Member since 5/05 3360 total posts
Name: Donna
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Re: IF related but not-Please help
I'm sorry you're feeling this way
Before you leave I would go through the pile of time sensitive material and formulate a game plan. can any of it be salvaged? I've always learned that before talking to a boss it's best to have a game plan, even if you have something written out and just read off that if you don't trust yourself.
How is your relationship with your boss? Do you think he could overlook this and just move forward?
This is only a decision you can make but last year I was you and DH & I did make the decision for me to leave my job.
Good luck and try to enjoy your weekend!!
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Posted 9/12/08 3:55 PM |
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Re: IF related but not-Please help
Hi, First let me say how sorry I am that you are dealing with so much emotion and stress right now. I understand how overwhelming work can be when dealing with all the IF issues. I was wondering if your boss knows what you are going through? As a high-level supervisor myself, I certainly want my staff to be able to come to me when personal issues affect work, so that we can problem solve together. And while it isn't an "excuse" maybe they can give you some time off to get yourself in the right frame of mind to be the type of employee you have previously proven yourself to be. If you haven't told them yet, you might want to start with that coversation Monday and then bring up the current situation. Yes, there may be consequenses but being honest and upfront is probably your best bet right now. I wish you all the best, with your work issue and your test results Monday. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. --Shawnna
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Posted 9/12/08 3:58 PM |
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JsWife
His laugh, Her smile

Member since 12/06 2902 total posts
Name: Patricia
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Re: IF related but not-Please help
I am so sorry you are going through this. I think everyone goes thru a bad patch at work when dealing with such an emotional issue. I had a span of two weeks that I couldn't do anything right.
I don't know what suggestion I would make. What does your DH think?
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Posted 9/12/08 3:59 PM |
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mom2mgn
Love my family

Member since 2/08 2267 total posts
Name: Christine
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Re: IF related but not-Please help
OMG! I am so very, very sorry. I'm a Paralegal too so I know what you are talking about. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now.
Is there anyone there you can talk to who can possibly help you figure out what to do besides the senior partner?
Take a deep breathe. Honestly, what's done is done. First of all, I'm not sure exactly what you missed but, things can be fixed. If the senior partner has good relationships with his adversaries, hopefully they will give him or you a break. Dates could have been changed or extended. If you are not in the right frame of mind to deal with this than don't. Wait until after your beta. Or, can you call him today? Get it over with? 
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Posted 9/12/08 4:05 PM |
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MrsJoeG
Beyond Blessed <3

Member since 2/08 1482 total posts
Name: Amanda
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Re: IF related but not-Please help
I was an attorney in my former life. I have learned that even when you think you have majorl f-ed up you should directly address it as soon as possible. I would apologize for the error and tell him you will do anything possible to remedy it. However being that it is friday and you are in such an emotional state may be take the weekend to think about it and formulate a plan of what to say to him and address it Monday.
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Posted 9/12/08 4:20 PM |
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KrisT
Two Boys for Me!!

Member since 1/07 5213 total posts
Name: Kristin
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Re: IF related but not-Please help
I am an attorney and know how stressful it can be to work at a law firm and how it is even more stressful when you also are dealing with IF
I completely understand how you can lose your focus at work because all you can think about is IF issues.
When you talk to the attorney next week, maybe you should tell him (depending on how comfortable and what type of relationshp you have with him/her) that you are having some medical issues. Or, is there anyway you can hire another person as support staff to help you out? Do you think taking some time off to relax would help?
I am not sure which RE you go to, but my RE's practice has "complimentary care" and offers both individual therapy as well as group sessions. Sometimes the group sessions have a specific purpose such as techniques to reduce IF stress. Maybe it would be beneficial to go to something like this if your practice has something similar.
Things will work out and we are all here for you
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Posted 9/12/08 4:39 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!

Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: IF related but not-Please help
Oh I wish I had soom great words of advice for you. I would take the work and figure out what can be salvaged out of that and then come up with a plan,... and I would meet w/ him on Monday and go over everything. I'm sorry you're going through this
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Posted 9/12/08 4:46 PM |
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BA2008
Need to find some hope!

Member since 2/08 2485 total posts
Name: Beth -Ann
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Re: IF related but not-Please help
I am so sorry about your situation. I was just going to post a similar post about how I am not productive anymore and my DH is noticing and we just got into a little fight. We work together in our own business. I know I need to get focused but can't. Its not just you this IF takes over everything.
The only advice I would have (and I'm sure you left work already) is that you should come up with a work plan and then a mental health plan. And believe me when you get your BFP on Monday you will not be able to concentrate either. Its more overwhelming, and you will be searching for all the knowledge that is available. So, don't get yourself crazy. Everything is fixable. I always say there is 3 ways to do anything. You'll find another way to get that work through whatever channels it needs to get done. Good luck.
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Posted 9/12/08 7:27 PM |
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-BabyMiracle-
When will my ship come in?

Member since 9/07 1056 total posts
Name: J
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Re: IF related but not-Please help
I am having a bad go at work right now so I understand where you are coming from. I don't have much advice different from what all the other lovely ladies have said. Good luck!
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Posted 9/12/08 9:21 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!

Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name: Gerty ®
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Re: IF related but not-Please help
Aside from the other ladies advice, I would try and talk to your boss in the morning before you get the beta results. This way you should be less emotional. And I agree that you should be honest about what is going on in you personal life right now.
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Posted 9/13/08 12:47 AM |
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