How do you keep postive?

It is very hard for me to be postive about TTC and IF.

Re: How do you keep postive?

(it doesn't always work) but I try to focus on what I DO have instead of what I don't. And I force myself to believe that it WILL happen- it's only a matter of time.

Re: How do you keep postive?

What is that old saying if you keep faking a smile eventually you will not be faking it. Something about the muscles in the face and how they react with your brain etc...I got that totally wrong but you get my point (I hope). Keep forcing it on yourself and then you may not realize you are doing OK.

Keep as busy as possible too. Spend time with DH.

And of course we are all here with you.

Re: How do you keep postive?

I try to keep the goal in sight. I keep repeating the mantra, "I will have a baby, I will have a baby, I will have a baby. . ." Even when everything that can go wrong does go wrong (which it always does) You just have to trust in the doctors that in the end we WILL get what we want and will be better parents for it.

Re: How do you keep postive?

Posted by Domino

I try to keep the goal in sight. I keep repeating the mantra, "I will have a baby, I will have a baby, I will have a baby. . ." Even when everything that can go wrong does go wrong (which it always does) You just have to trust in the doctors that in the end we WILL get what we want and will be better parents for it.

Re: How do you keep postive?

I'm with MrsMessina...

I try to think about how I didn't ask God "why me" when I was blessed with a terrific, supportive family, when I met my amazing DH, when He gave me all the great friends I have, when He put me in my beautiful home...

I try not to think "why me" when the bad stuff happens.

As far as staying positive... I focus on how I wouldn't trade my life or marriage for those of any fertile person I know.

I am infertile because I am strong enough to deal with it. Not everyone is tough like us.

Re: How do you keep postive?

To start, if I'm having a bad day, I simply let myself have a bad day. A pit party every now and then is perfectly fine. I won't let myself have a stretch of bad days bc I know I need to control my IF circumstances- not let it control me.

When I am feeling particularly blue I:
Spend some real quality time with DH (no one makes me laugh like he can)
Get a massage/spa treatments
Go for accupuncture
Go for a long run or bike ride
Watch a really funny movie
Have a glass of wine (or two) and eat something really fatty, sugary and decadent!

Re: How do you keep postive?

With every AF, I do get sad for a day or two. I cry every time. I let myself be sad for that time. But then I just have to force myself to think positively about the next cycle. Any month could be my BFP and I will not give up that hope, no matter how discouraging the process is. I know my time will come. Also, coming on this board is really helpful, to know you are not the only one and to get that support. I avoid things that I know will upset me. For example, I don't go on the TTC board anymore really, it's too painful.

Re: How do you keep postive?

Re: How do you keep postive?

Re: How do you keep postive?

Posted by Sneezy

I'm with MrsMessina...

I try to think about how I didn't ask God "why me" when I was blessed with a terrific, supportive family, when I met my amazing DH, when He gave me all the great friends I have, when He put me in my beautiful home...

I try not to think "why me" when the bad stuff happens.

As far as staying positive... I focus on how I wouldn't trade my life or marriage for those of any fertile person I know.

I am infertile because I am strong enough to deal with it. Not everyone is tough like us.

Re: How do you keep postive?

Re: How do you keep postive?

Posted by Chai77

Posted by Sneezy

Posted by Chai77

I don't go on the TTC board anymore really, it's too painful.

I hate the TTC board. I've become to cynical. The "yay I'm ovulating" posts annoy me. (No offense.)

Or how about the "OMG- BFP on my first try!" posts? I know it's just because I'm jealous, but I can't stand reading those! (also, no offense meant to anyone)

Re: How do you keep postive?

Re: How do you keep postive?

I want a child to the point that I can't be negative.
After each BFN, I let myself cry and/or be miserable for a day or so.
Then I focus on the next cycle and the fact that this might just be the one.
I've also become cynical regarding the outcome, but I can't help but be hopeful after each transfer.

Re: How do you keep postive?

Just want to add this piece that was posted on this board a while ago. I read it from time to time and it definitely helps me to push through. It gives me that breath of fresh air and also helps me to let the reigns out a ltitle bit. Goes along with what many of you have said already.....
***********

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, and create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know.