Tell me what you would do (poll)

I am very funny about going to wakes- it is just something I can never get comfortable with doing. An old student of mine's (from 3 years ago) mom works is the head of the kitchen at my school. I was close with this student and am pretty friendly with her mom. They are wonderful people- I loved having her daughter and think she is an awesome person as well. It was announced that her mother (the student's grandmother) passed away and the wake is tonight and tomorrow afternoon. This student was extremely close with her grandmother. I know people from work will be there and it is no more than 15 minutes from where we live. I want to go, but feel very weird- uncomfortable that it is not my place to be there and just weird in general- since as I said it is something I never feel comfortable with and tend to only go if it is family of mine or Brian's. Do you think I should go to the wake or just send a mass card?

Message edited 1/20/2006 4:49:38 PM.

Re: Tell me what you would do (poll)

If it makes you feel uncomfortable...then just send the mass card!

Re: Tell me what you would do (poll)

If you are uncomfortable, just send a mass card.

If you really want to go - just go for about 15 minutes and go. I do this sometimes - but most of the time, it is due that I am allergic to the flowers.

Re: Tell me what you would do (poll)

I think that by sending a mass card or a sympathy card is sufficient. As long as they know you are thinking of them, it's more than enough.

Re: Tell me what you would do (poll)

send a mass card if you are uncomfortable going to the wake!

Re: Tell me what you would do (poll)

I feel guilty because other people in my room (I teach resource room and share a room with another teacher and 2 aides) are going. I don't want to look like the schmuck that didn't come. But I truly just feel so uncomfortable- especially going alone (and unfortunately everyone else is just stopping in alone, so I can't even plan to go with someone . . .) Thanks for making me feel a little better

Re: Tell me what you would do (poll)

Send a card with some of your comforting words for this family
These types of decisions are never easy!

Re: Tell me what you would do (poll)

If you go you only have to stay a few mins to just pay your respects. But, if you really feel that uncomfortable going than sending a mass card is fine.

Re: Tell me what you would do (poll)

If you are really not comfortable, just send a mass card

Re: Tell me what you would do (poll)

i dont go to wakes, i dont like having my last image of someone lying in a coffin. i like to remember the person full of life and happy. other people may not agree with me. but thats just me, everyone is different. do what makes you comfortable. send a mass card and say a prayer for the students mom and their family. dont let what other people may say or think force you into doing something you are so uncomfortable with.

Re: Tell me what you would do (poll)

Re: Tell me what you would do (poll)

To be honest, when my parents died, I appreciated any effort to comfort us, whether it was coming to the wake or funeral, or receiving a card. I think most people realize not everyone can make it to the funeral home and so much of that is a blur to me at this point anyway. I think sending a card is fine. I also used to give sympathy cards to my students at school, with a personal note to let them know if they needed to talk to anyone, they could come to me.

Re: Tell me what you would do (poll)

I think sending a mass card is sufficient. If you can, stop by for 15 minutes or so. At this point I think any type of consolation no matter how big or small is appreciated.