morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

if g-d forbid ur parents died tomorrow, how prepared r u? burial info...plots..what they want...debt they still have?..what to do with there stuff?

my dad 6 yrs ago..so if g-d forbid something happens to my mom i am the one who i assume would be dealing with everying... is it crazzzy to think omg how would i ever manage sucha thing..is this a convo u would have with ur parents when they r of good health and mind just incase? it always worries me that i will have that "burden" and i dont know all that would need to be taken care of

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

I hope it never happens for a long time.
My parents already have a plot in Pinelawa, because my dad was in the Navy.

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

I am not prepared to lose them. I will never be prepared for a death in my family. But I have been two two family memeber funerals in the past 2 years. I know my parent's wishes. We have no plots but I know what I have to do. I think that when it happens, you somehow just know what has to be done. It;s a horrible ordeal but you get through it because you must.

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

Not at all... I hate to even think about it

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My parents have set everything up in case that occurs...
So i will just have to carryout their wishes

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

Posted by Diane

I hope it never happens for a long time.
My parents already have a plot in Pinelawa, because my dad was in the Navy.

same here!

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

Unfortunately I am the executor of my parents will and know everything. I pray it doesn't happen for a very, very long time, but if it did, I'd know what to do.

Being the oldest child, I've been prepared for quite some time now. My parents made sure that I knew what their wishes were.

Sometimes I wish I didn't know.

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

We have not discussed this with my mom or MIL. I am NOT looking forward to this conversation.

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

For my mother yes, I would be prepared because she has pretty much everything set up and she has told me what she wants...though I'm sure I would be in for a few surprises regarding debt & finances, etc.

With my Dad...no...I would be completely unprepared.

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

It is something I never allow myself to think about, really... or else I get far too depressed..

But your questions are realistic and valid, since often people have no idea how much these things costs or what their parent/loved one would have preferred when they passed..

Then also to be taken into account, in those tragic moments when we are striken with the loss of a loved one, often pepole are incapable of making the tough, difficult decisions.. its best to be prepared, quite honestly. Not to mention the costs associated with it can be overwhelming if not prepared for it..

That said - my parents already have their affairs in order for when they pass... however, my older brother is privy to this information, I expect he would probably handle these affairs when the time comes... I personally would rather NOT know but if I were an only child, I'm sure I would be fully aware of the situation

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

Unfortunately, I am very prepared for such. I know it's not a conversation you want to have with your parents but you MUST!

My mother died suddenly one night when I was eight years old. My father had a massive stroke when I was 27. He was not a smoker or drinker and had no warning symptoms of a stroke. My brother found him lying on the floor one morning convulsing. I was with him from 5 am to 11 pm every day for 11 days in the hospital, then he went to St. Johnland's Rehab facility where he learned to walk and try to talk all over again. I had to make decisions for him and he could not speak conversationally. I quickly learned the ins and outs of his union benefits, his medical rights and his legal rights.

One week before he had the stroke he told me his plans to retire. Thank God I knew. NYTelephone Company wanted to deny him benefits that he was entitled to. I stood up to management and WON! Again, thank God he told me earlier and I listened.

I am my father's full power of attorney. I am the one excutes all financial and medical matters.

As much as he protected me when I was little, I now protect and fight for him.

Has it caused a lot of stress, yes? Did I have the typical life of a 20-30 something, absolutely not? Did many of my friends understand, no.

Would I do it all again? Yes.

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

My aunt's death taught me a huge lesson this past year. One that it is a must that my family & I discuss DNR, Life suuport...everything. During her last days in the hospital her 5 childer & her husband argued over what to do. Played the balme game...what if mom isn't that bad and we chose to disconnect her to life support??? So many questions and so little time. I learned that these things as hard as they are to face need to be spoken about because it is truely sad to see the family being torn apart at such a difficult period.

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

Well, when my mom passed away, my parents had already had most things in order, so my dad did what needed to be done. I know what his wishes are and he basically showed me where the info I need is, but I think a part of me just keeps blocking some of it out - we really should go over it again (esp. since he says to me - "What'll I be around maybe another 7 years or so?" - He's only 67. Makes me CRAZY!!!
But, I know when my mom passed, my brother was a huge help to my dad, so I'll probably lean on him for a lot - even though he's in NC, I think he'll be more able to deal with it. I still just can't even imagine though!

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We've never discussed in in detail, but one Easter, my aunts were skign my Dad about wills ( it is related to his job) , and on the way home my parents told me thaey didn't have a will, to sell the house & if there is anything left, to split it with my brother.

My dad also told me to call a friend of his, who works in the same feild & could help with the legal financial details.

I assume my father would want to be cremated, b/c that's is common practive in his family & he never said otherwise.
For my mother, she has a lot of family around, so if they objected, I'd listen. I think my mother 's view is that she'd already be gone, so just do what ever is easiest for the living.

ETA- everytime my ILs fly, FIL leaves a note for DH saying the wills & insurance info are in the desk drawer. . .

Message edited 1/20/2006 11:12:29 AM.

Re: morbid q..if ur parents passed away..

Why would this conversation bother you guys sooo much? Its all part of the circle of life and INEVITABLE.
Both my sister & I are very much aware of our parents last wishes,they have already purchased their plot back in the country they were born in..this is where they wish to be. I think its great piece of mind to be able to envision where you bones will lay( not your soul of course) and to know that family will care to visit..I find great solice in visiting the graves of my grandparents & family that have passed.

I have had this conversation with DH in the past & he thinks its too morbid of a topic- I think its irresponsible that his dad (my FIL) told him(oldest son) " do what you see fit " considering there is a stepmother & three other kids involved..its bound to be a mess,everyone will have their own opinions. Also why should anyone burden us financialy?

As for myself..my family is well aware of my wishes..I was very sick when I was 24 (now 32) and practically on my death bed. I signed a DNR & have it in my will. Those are MY WISHES & everyone should have in writing anything they feel about strongly,unless you want to be the next Terri Schiavo (may she rest in peace). They know where I want to be buried,hopefully this summer DH & I will buy our own plot. Last year my sis bought hers,she's even younger than me.

I encourage all of you to speak to your parents about these issues..even more importantly..they must do their ESTATE PLANNING..unless of course they/you feel that "uncle Sam" deserves a huge chunk!

*Edited for spelling

Message edited 1/20/2006 11:13:44 AM.