This can't be good

I reminded DH about our appt on Wednesday.

He asked if he has to be there..he has some meetings..(yeah, so do I).

I said yes, we have to get our results and come up with a plan.

A plan? Any other plan other than doing it naturally is going to send him over the edge and ruin his day.

He's worried abouit doing IVF..I told him it's not necessarily the way we would have to go. He says, still, any other way but the old fashioned way is going to get him upset.

Maybe I'm just more used to the idea that we may needs some help...

Maybe, if we can't do it the old fashioned way..he won't want to do it at all.

This is really getting me bummed out.

Also, after we had this talk, he passed out from being out and the bar with his friend.

Here I am..

I'm having a cosmo and a cry...

oh, and I finally got my smiley..I showed him right before we talked about it..we were having a good time laughing and other things...well..other things didn't happen..

Message edited 6/9/2008 8:13:36 PM.

Re: This can't be good

I'm sorry, sometimes it's harder for them to accept that some of us need help on this journey. I hope that he goes to the dr. with you and becomes more comfortable with the idea of treatment.

Enjoy your cosmo and your cry! We all need that sometimes.

Re: This can't be good

Men can be so frustrating at times. You need to give him time. He will come around. It's some macho guy thing. My DH did that too. He's probably scared to get his SA results, because all men think they have Olympic swimmers. I was so scared to tell DH he had a morph problem on his first SA. Seriously, what ever plan you need to do, he will come around and join you. He just needs info. And if it makes you feel any better, my DH never comes with me to any of my consultations. Mostly because we own our own business and the timing has been bad. Though in the winter hes takes me to my morning monitoring when he could sleep late.

Here's a great example. Today, I'm trying to talk to my DH about our 2nd failed IVF and what we should do next etc... And you know what he says. "Why don't we take a break and try it the natural way". HELLO, what does he think we've been doing for 2 1/2 years. The natural way.....um didn't see that working. And of course he throws in my face how we got pg before the "natural way". Yeah after the HSG. Iodine fluid up my whoo-hoo, doesn't sound so natural to me. I have to keep reminding him that i'm 40 (and fabulous - thanks to SATC). He'll get his break anyway, because we're off this cycle to give my body a break from the drugs. Men!

Re: This can't be good

I'm trying to keep my hopes up. It doesn't help that on a hot Monday afternoon he went out for a few with his friend and comes home and passes out when I have a smiley...finally..after it being late.

He's out cold.

Re: This can't be good

Susan, my DH was adamantly against me going to the RE. We had no trouble conceiving DD, so he thought I was being paranoid, overreactive and just plain silly.

Well I forged ahead anyway because I had an instinct (and I was right) that something was wrong.

When I first got my diagnosis of hostile CM, DH didn't believe it. He just couldn't conceive that we could get pregnant so easily with #1 and yet only a few years later be diagnosed with something. My RE suggested IUI - he literally balked at the idea.

I gave him time, and I complied with everything HE needed to get comfortable with the idea that we were experiencing secondary IF. That meant, bringing him to discuss the diagnosis with my RE, then setting up an appointment with my ob/gyn (whom he trusts more than anyone else on this earth, go figure) to explain to DH that this does, in fact, happen, and that IUI is the only real course of action that we could take.

Only after that was he on board - and girl, that took MONTHS to get him to that point.

I think most men are resistant to IF. You have to be just a smidge more patient with them, and do whatever it takes to let them become informed and make a decision they are comfortable with

Re: This can't be good

I'm sorry I understand the frustration. But you still have time - its still a couple days after the smiley that you actually O, right? Just get him tomorrow (hungover or not )

Re: This can't be good

thanks Beth, I know that I have had a lot of time to come to grips with it. I'm 41..there really is no time to waste.

I'm worried that he will just push off the whole idea..

Re: This can't be good

i just ran out of vodka...

this day gets better and better.

I picked a bad day to give up crack

Re: This can't be good

Re: This can't be good

Posted by Carolyn

Posted by Blu-ize

i just ran out of vodka...

this day gets better and better.

I picked a bad day to give up crack

LOL. What about sniffing glue?

Re: This can't be good

meanwhile DH is having a snoozefest

Re: This can't be good

Well - what are you waiting for then? Smiley+ snoozefest + argument = Make up S*X!!!!!

Re: This can't be good

Posted by MrsMessina

Well - what are you waiting for then? Smiley+ snoozefest + argument = Make up S*X!!!!!

Re: This can't be good

Posted by Blu-ize

Posted by MrsMessina

Well - what are you waiting for then? Smiley+ snoozefest + argument = Make up S*X!!!!!

I like the way you think. I kinda feel bad though..he did give his SA today...

he's exhausted!!!!

Re: This can't be good

Honestly, it was probably a bad time to bring it up. I would wait until he is sober and reapproach the topic. I have a rule that we discuss nothing of importance while one of us is under the influence of alcohol.

Re: This can't be good

Re: This can't be good

Posted by Gertyrae

Honestly, it was probably a bad time to bring it up. I would wait until he is sober and reapproach the topic. I have a rule that we discuss nothing of importance while one of us is under the influence of alcohol.

Re: This can't be good