I have a dilema....please advise..

with names....

I know this will be a big problem for us....DH comes from a Greek-American family and is very traditional when it comes to baby names....I am Polish...

Greek tradition is to name the baby after the baby's grandparents (my parents or DH's)....the thing is that DH already picked the names....if it is a boy (which he thinks it is) he wants DIMITRIOS (his father's name-James in English) which I cannot stand....from all the Greek names I do not like Dimitrios at all...He then said if it is a girl we should name it after my Mom (which I respect him for it) but I don't like my mom's name either...it is very old fashioned and very Catholic..Teresa...

What would you do?? How can I go about this and change his mind?? I don't want to fight about this..but I don't want my baby to end with a very ethnic name....

Thank you in advance...

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

i understand tradition and all, but the name is something you both have to really agree on. i have boy names that i LOVED but since DH didn't like them, that was it - they were off the list.

if it were me i would try to find another greek name i liked, that held some meaning for my DH. there are sooo many great names out there, no need to settle on something right away. take your time - you have lots left!

good luck

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

Can you try the middle name thing ?....I'm funny with names, I think both parents should love the name they pick, so for me I wouldnt be able to sacrafice...Its tough especially when it means so much to one of you ...Are there different variations of the names to make them less "ethnic" sounding- Demetrious is kinda tough to do that with I'm sure ( I actually don't mind it ) Good Luck

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

I have a friend who is married to a Greek guy and she had the same dilema. his father's name was Paul, which she detested, but decided to uphold tradition. Her sister, also married to aGreek guy had a girl and they named her Angelica, which is a variation of the Grandmother's name. I think that you can get away with a variation of the name--in your case, it might be best to go with James. I do not envy your position. Grandparents can get so easily offended...

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

Have you mentioned how YOU feel about the name? Maybe DH will listen and the two of you can come to some other compromise...Are you finding out what the sex of the baby will be? If you have a girl you might not have to get into it at all .


ETA: I do like the name James

Message edited 6/4/2008 12:45:06 PM.

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

I am also greek american my hubby is italien my dad was persistant that I had to give my baby a greek name but I told him that this 2008 and I am going to name my baby as I wish and yes my girl name is greek but I love it the boy name isn't

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

Oh boy! My Husband is Greek....and I'm italian. Since we were dating i told my husband....that we will NOT follow that tradition....because its not MY tradition and i want to name my kids whatever i want. MY in laws know this and i dont think they have a problem with it...if they do...thats their problem. I feel like since he grew up very greek he acquired a taste for all the greek names out there....personally there are very few names i would use....and none of those names are in my husbands family. I think you need to sit with your husband and explain how you feel about this....because you need to love the name you call your children....and at the same time i think its important that you pick a name that your kids are going to love.

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

What are your father and his mothers names?

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

Italian tradition kinda works the same way. Traditionally, I am supposed to name my son after my FIL, whom is named Joseph. I cant say I HATE that name & I cant say I love it. I opted to name my son Anthony after my DH, with his middle name Joseph, to respect my FIL & kind of uphold tradition sort of. Can you do the same type of thing? As far as girl names, (and boys names) You & your DH have to love it.

What names did you have in mind?

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

Maybe compromise and use them as the middle name?

I have a friend named Maria Vanessa. Her entire family refers to her as Vanessa even though it's her middle name. Another friend's baby is named Vanessa Bella and they only call her "bella".

What about using initials, like a "CJ" or "PJ" if it's a boy and you can find names with initials that fit???

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

I am Greek American and my boyfriend is not. I had to (wanted) to give the baby a Christian name so he can be baptized in the Greek church. I didn't care about naming it after the parents or grandparents (which yes, is tradition) etc though and my parents didn't give me a hard time about it. I did love my pappous (grandfathers) name though - Athanasios - but we shortened it to make it more "American" to Athan. my sons middle name is James after my boyfriends grandfather (and no we don't call him Demetrios).

Tradition is hard to screw with - especially if there is pressure from the parents. Be honest with him and tell him that you just don't like that as a first name for a . WOUld he consider another Christian name? The name of a great grandfather perhaps or someone else? And yes while its "tradition" its not set in stone. Also, in Greece the Godparents name the baby at the Christening - and clearly we don't do that here either! GOOD LUCK!!!!

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

i would just talk about it, come up with some names that you like and possibly incorporate the names he wants, maybe middle name?

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

No advice except to maybe talk it out with DH. Then prep the grandparents if you're not going to be traditional.

IMHO I like both names, esp the

I named my DD after both paternal grandmothers (they had the same name on both sides.) It wasn't my favorite name because of the sound or cool factor, but it is my favorite because I love my Granny so much. Plus it meant the world to me to honor her while she was alive...it just felt like the right thing to do. I'm really, really glad we picked her name.

Do what feels right.

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

Thank you so much for all your responses!!!

It is not easy dealing with family traditions!! DH knows how I feel and in the end he will give in (always does ) but I just don't want to create extra stress with baby naming...

I told him to use those traditional names for middle names (I don't mind that) and then chose names that we BOTH love!!

The baby is due on St. Nicholas day (which is big in Greek-Orthodox and Catholic religions) so we might go with Nicholas if it is a boy (DH's grandfather's name) or Nicoletta for a girl (variation of Nicholas)....

I guess time will tell!! Thank you again!!

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

I actually like the name demetrios, but you should both agree on the name. Honestly in my family it was si ilar tradition except it was just the first initial of the grandparents name (my great-grandparents) otherwise my mom wanted a different name for me. In the end she followed the tradition, and I always wanted to add the name she wanted to name me as my middle name. one day I will

Can you maybe compromise and use those names as the middle name for your DC?

Congrats again!!!

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

Posted by MrsGreek

Thank you so much for all your responses!!!

It is not easy dealing with family traditions!! DH knows how I feel and in the end he will give in (always does ) but I just don't want to create extra stress with baby naming...

I told him to use those traditional names for middle names (I don't mind that) and then chose names that we BOTH love!!

The baby is due on St. Nicholas day (which is big in Greek-Orthodox and Catholic religions) so we might go with Nicholas if it is a boy (DH's grandfather's name) or Nicoletta for a girl (variation of Nicholas)....

I guess time will tell!! Thank you again!!

Message edited 6/4/2008 1:50:16 PM.

Re: I have a dilema....please advise..

My hubby is also Greek and I'm Italian but we are not following the Greek tradition as far as names goes so I understand what you are going through. My FIL always jokes he wants the baby named after him "Dino"

Are you planning on raising the baby in the Greek church and sending him to Greek school? I think it's only fair he budge on this because you are not Greek and you can decide on a name together! Are his parents influencing him a lot or he just feels really strongly about that name?

Message edited 6/4/2008 1:49:31 PM.