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"Do not attempt"
Have we as a society turned into a group of morons, or have advertising companies just learned to view us this way with having a disclaimer on anything that occurs in a commercial - I know in this money hungry world where people will sue McDonalds for making them fat, they see the need for big-time CYA, but really....
I am just baffled I need to be told to NOT attempt the following:
Eat an actual 5 dollar bill
Hurl major appliances off a cliff
Cart my infant around in a wheelbarrow
Sweep the floor with my pomeranian
The list goes on and on.....
Message edited 5/18/2008 8:37:59 PM.
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Posted 5/18/08 8:37 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Do not attempt"
I guess this falls into the same category as the tag on you hairdryer telling you not to use it in the bathtub...
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| Posted 5/18/08 8:45 PM |
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PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys
Member since 1/07 2963 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: "Do not attempt"
And "Caution - contents inside may be hot" on a coffee cup .... 
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| Posted 5/18/08 8:46 PM |
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NASP09
...
Member since 6/05 6030 total posts
Name:
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Re:
I
Message edited 3/26/2010 10:43:58 PM.
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| Posted 5/18/08 8:49 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: "Do not attempt"
all of these things are listed because someone HAS DONE THEM!!
the "caution: contents may be hot" is part of the lawsuit of the lady who put a hot cup of mcdonald's coffee in her crotch while driving and burned her vajayjay.
yes, we ARE a country of morons!
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| Posted 5/18/08 8:49 PM |
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MeeshkaMich
LL=Yum
Member since 2/06 5616 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Do not attempt"
agreed!!!
Liza love your avatar btw.
He gets cuter by the day.
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| Posted 5/18/08 8:53 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Do not attempt"
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I am just baffled I need to be told to NOT attempt the following:
Eat an actual 5 dollar bill
Hurl major appliances off a cliff
Cart my infant around in a wheelbarrow
Sweep the floor with my pomeranian
The list goes on and on.....
Have you seen the one where the guy sits on the roof of his house , and rigs up his kid to go down the chimney with a toilet brush to clean it. . maybe there really are people that need to be told not to do that?
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| Posted 5/18/08 9:30 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Do not attempt"
Did I read something about not putting your baby in a wheelbarrow? 
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| Posted 5/18/08 9:36 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: "Do not attempt"
My absolute favorite one is the Kleenex Cottonelle with the puppy.
The puppy is playing on giant toilet paper and on the bottom of the screen it says:
Puppy Fantasy Do Not Attempt
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| Posted 5/18/08 9:45 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Do not attempt"
Years ago there was a commercial that was joking about all the side effects of things and it said "May cause the condition know as hot dog fingers" It always cracked me
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| Posted 5/18/08 9:54 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Do not attempt"
Remember when the additive Olestra was first introduced?
My DH often quotes the warning from the commercials...
"Caution, may cause anal leakage"
No wonder why they no longer use it
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| Posted 5/18/08 9:57 PM |
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HelenZ
So worth the wait :)
Member since 10/07 2862 total posts
Name:
Helen
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Re: "Do not attempt"
well at least we can laugh at these idiotic messages they direct at our lawsuit happy society.
one of my faves from one of those e-mail lists from a while ago:
on an iron warning label: "do not iron garment while wearing"
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| Posted 5/18/08 10:06 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Do not attempt"
I found the hotdog fingers commercial, it was for E*Trade
linky
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| Posted 5/18/08 10:09 PM |
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TJLealand3
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/07 839 total posts
Name:
Thomas
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Re: "Do not attempt"
You can blame all of the lawyers for this "treat them all as morons" rule.
If you dont warn someone that they will cut off thier fingers if they stick them in the garbage disposal......
In my opnion this is culling the herd and all of these warnings arehelping to overpopulate the world with morons.
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| Posted 5/18/08 10:17 PM |
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Re: "Do not attempt"
Ladies - you officially impressed my DH with your responses!!!
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| Posted 5/18/08 10:39 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: "Do not attempt"
Actual warning labels:
On a blanket from Taiwan:
Not to be used as protection from a tornado.
Warning on fireplace log:
Caution -- Risk of Fire.
A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists:
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
Warning on an electric router made for carpenters:
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
On a bottle of shampoo for dogs:
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
On a hair dryer:
Do not use in shower.
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding
Product will be hot after heating.
On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions - open packet, eat nuts.
On some frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: defrost.
On a hotel provided shower cap:
Fits one head.
On Nytol Nighttime Sleep-Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
Warning on a cartridge for a laser printer:
Do not eat toner.
A wheel 13" a wheelbarrow warns:
Not for highway use.
Can of self-defense pepper spray warns:
May irritate eyes.
Warning on a Conair Pro Style 1600 hair dryer:
Do not use in shower. Never use while sleeping.
Silly Putty package warning:
Not for use as earplugs.
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Baby stroller warning:
Remove child before folding.
Household iron warns:
Never iron clothes while they are being worn.
A fireplace lighter cautions:
Do not use near fire, flame or sparks.
A handheld massager warns consumers:
Don't use while sleeping or unconscious.
Warning on underarm deodorant:
Do not spray in eyes.
Cardboard car sun shield that keeps sun off the dashboards warns
Do not drive with sun shield in place
Warning on a sharpening stone:
Knives are sharp.
Bottle water label warns:
Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.
On a box or rat poison
Warning: Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
On a Domino's Pizza box
Caution: Contents hot!
Toilet bowl cleaning brush warns:
Do not use orally.
An electric cattle prods warns:
For use on animals only
A can of air freshner warns:
Keep out of reach of children and teenagers
Cheap rubber ball toy warning:
Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball.
Caution on a package of dice:
Not for human consumption.
In the manual of a chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand.
Stamped on the barrel of a .22 calibre rifle:
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.
Instructions for an electric thermometer:
Do not use orally after using rectally.
On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack:
Remove plastic before eating.
A TV remote controller warns:
Not dishwasher safe.
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| Posted 5/19/08 9:25 AM |
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CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: "Do not attempt"
even after all that, yo uknow SOMEBODY will say "well, you didn't TELL me..."
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| Posted 5/19/08 9:35 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: "Do not attempt"
it's necessary to idiot proof it. there are idiots out there who are litigious.
My boss had a tenant that sued them because he installed a new shower head and didn't do it right and it fell on him and broke his arm.
The tenant installed the shower head, it fell on him and he sued the landlord.
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| Posted 5/19/08 9:40 AM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: "Do not attempt"
OMG. Shawn those seriously cracked me up. Thanks.
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| Posted 5/19/08 9:42 AM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Do not attempt"
Posted by GoldenRod
A TV remote controller warns:
Not dishwasher safe.
That sounds like a wager to me!
Posted by leighla
My absolute favorite one is the Kleenex Cottonelle with the puppy.
The puppy is playing on giant toilet paper and on the bottom of the screen it says:
Puppy Fantasy Do Not Attempt
I love the funny ones--DH will pause the TV to read them!
Message edited 5/19/2008 9:48:14 AM.
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| Posted 5/19/08 9:46 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: "Do not attempt"
It's not that we've turned into a group of morons -- It's that we've turned into a sue-happy society full of people who think they should profit off of their own stupidity by blaming it on someone else.
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| Posted 5/19/08 11:21 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: "Do not attempt"
Posted by BJandDan
OMG. Shawn those seriously cracked me up. Thanks.
Warning: do not read these warnings while driving, eating, or sleeping. May cause uncontrollable laughter.
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| Posted 5/19/08 11:30 AM |
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