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bklyngirl
COULD THIS BE MY YEAR??
Member since 6/05 15758 total posts
Name:
Gail
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How do you forgive
i have a cousin that did something to years ago that i think is unforgiveable. whenever i see her, i just say hello and goodbye. i don't know if i could ever forgive her. i don't normally hold grudges but i just can't forgive what she did. is i wrong that i just can't forgive what she did
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Posted 4/24/08 7:40 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: How do you forgive
If it means that much to you then no, I don't think it's wrong for you to not forgive her. They say time heals all wounds, maybe you just need more time.
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| Posted 4/24/08 7:45 PM |
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bklyngirl
COULD THIS BE MY YEAR??
Member since 6/05 15758 total posts
Name:
Gail
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Re: How do you forgive
Posted by imthecindyofcindyandkevin
If it means that much to you then no, I don't think it's wrong for you to not forgive her. They say time heals all wounds, maybe you just need more time.
i'm 36 and she's 31. we were never close growing up. what she did to me, happened in the early 90's when i was in college
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| Posted 4/24/08 7:47 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you forgive
I'm in a similar situation with my BIL.
Honestly, till he apologizes I have nothing to say to him but hello and good-bye. And I only say that to keep some kind of peace.
He did wrong and he should apologize.
If he doesn't, I'm OK with with that too. I don't miss him.
Do you miss this person in your life?
Do you feel this is a relationship that's worth forgiving? If yes, talk to her and let her know how hurt you were/are. See how things progress.
If not, you don't have to forgive. Just accept the relationship is over and that should help you to move forward.
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| Posted 4/24/08 7:47 PM |
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luvsbob4603
To a healthy 2013
Member since 5/05 21840 total posts
Name:
To a brand new year to a healthier me
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Re: How do you forgive
If you want a relationship with her than i would try to work it out, If not than i would move on.
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| Posted 4/24/08 8:56 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: How do you forgive
Posted by luvsbob4603
If you want a relationship with her than i would try to work it out, If not than i would move on.
I agree 100%.
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| Posted 4/24/08 8:58 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you forgive
Posted by luvsbob4603
If you want a relationship with her than i would try to work it out, If not than i would move on.
You said it perfectly! I'm sorry whatever it was that happened, happened to begin with. That's hard.
There is one person in my life (not anymore, thank the lord above) that I just can't forgive. Wanted to try and be friends (she was going to be my SIL ) never worked out!
Came between my brother and I and THANK GOODNESS my brother chose us (his family) over her!!!
Like Ro said, Move on...I'm glad I did and I am VERY glad my brother got the ring back.
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| Posted 4/24/08 9:26 PM |
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Re: How do you forgive
I have had some major issues with several people in my family.
Heres the thing - you do not have to forgive, but for your own well being you need to let it go. Theres a difference between letting go and forgiving. You don't have to harbor any ill will or anger towards that person - just letting go of those feelings, know that person has problems that really have nothing to do with you, even though they hurt you...
The most important lesson I have learned, and try to live by it everyday is this:
When someone does something to you - its not about you, its about them. It's not personal although it can feel that way! 
I try to grow everyday. I wouldn't say I'm there yet, but I'm a work in prgress.
I think if my growth had a post count, I would be a LIF infant! 
Message edited 4/24/2008 9:32:25 PM.
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| Posted 4/24/08 9:31 PM |
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wannabemom
look who's freshly baked!
Member since 12/07 7364 total posts
Name:
aka marriedinportjeff
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Re: How do you forgive
Posted by bklyngirl
i have a cousin that did something to years ago that i think is unforgiveable. whenever i see her, i just say hello and goodbye. i don't know if i could ever forgive her. i don't normally hold grudges but i just can't forgive what she did. is i wrong that i just can't forgive what she did
my theory on these situations:
not all people are worthy to be forgiven....
don't have remorse just becuase you're not mother theresa or the Dalai Lama.... you're just a normal person with normal expectations of those around you.... if she couldn't live up to them, that's HER fault and problem, not yours....
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| Posted 4/24/08 9:32 PM |
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HeatherRose
Life is Good :)
Member since 11/07 6605 total posts
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Re: How do you forgive
It depends on what you want. Do you miss her and want a relationship with her? If you do, then you have to fin it in your heart to forgive her(this doesn't mean you forget what she did, and it also doesn't mean you go back to trusting her 100%) but if the relationship never meant a whole lot to you, I would just say just move on. Your acting civilized when you see her, and that's all she can ask for.
Has she even reached out to you? She is the one who hurt you? That for me would be a big deal, more then what she actually did. If a person can't admit that they hurt me and are ready to say their sorry, I don't want to have a relationship with them
Good luck with whatever you choose to do, i know its not easy, I've been there before
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| Posted 4/24/08 9:35 PM |
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islandersgirl74
Love Being A Mommy!
Member since 6/06 5804 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: How do you forgive
You may learn to forgive in time. A close friend of mine really betrayed our frinedship 2 years ago. It took me a good year before I was even able to be in the same room as him. WE are pretty good friends again and I guess in a way I have forgiven him, though I havent forgotten. Give it time and yoiu may do the same.
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| Posted 4/24/08 10:48 PM |
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