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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Meanness....
With the taping of the girl getting beat up, and other things cropping up, I can't help but wonder....
How do we get so mean sometimes?
Is it a "jump on the bandwagon" type thing, or have we become so self-absorbed and desensitized that we think it's OK to just bash people, whether it be literally or figuratively?
Becoming a parent has definitely opened my eyes to teaching my son and reminding myself to accept people for what they are, good, bad or indifferent, and to be nicer to everyone, regardless of what I may ultimately think of them.
It's pretty sad to see "adults" bashing others just because....
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Posted 4/9/08 12:36 PM  |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Meanness....
I think alot of people "jump on the bandwagon", like you said......Kind of like sheep, IMO. It IS totally sad.....and as far as it happening here, pretty immature...
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| Posted 4/9/08 12:41 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Meanness....
it's far easier to be mean than it is to be kind. there is no impulse control in being mean...and we naturally have certain impulses for meanness or aggression.
and as society relaxes its rules and tolerates more, we will see it more.
we are still the same people were were hundreds of years ago. we just dress it up differently.
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| Posted 4/9/08 12:45 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Meanness....
Posted by Ophelia
it's far easier to be mean than it is to be kind. there is no impulse control in being mean...and we naturally have certain impulses for meanness or aggression.
and as society relaxes its rules and tolerates more, we will see it more.
we are still the same people were were hundreds of years ago. we just dress it up differently.
See, for me, I don't act impulsively on meanness...I guess there are times when I'd LIKE to be really mean to someone who wronged me but I always always try not to act on it.
I try to find the good in situations...but it really can be a sad world at times..so much hatred, killing, bullying etc...it can be very disheartening until you start to concentrate on all the good.
And since becoming a mother so many more things anger me about the world...I hope my kids don't have to be surrounded by half of what seems to be happening today...wishful thinking, right?
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| Posted 4/9/08 12:55 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Meanness....
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by Ophelia
it's far easier to be mean than it is to be kind. there is no impulse control in being mean...and we naturally have certain impulses for meanness or aggression.
and as society relaxes its rules and tolerates more, we will see it more.
we are still the same people were were hundreds of years ago. we just dress it up differently.
See, for me, I don't act impulsively on meanness...I guess there are times when I'd LIKE to be really mean to someone who wronged me but I always always try not to act on it.
I try to find the good in situations...but it really can be a sad world at times..so much hatred, killing, bullying etc...it can be very disheartening until you start to concentrate on all the good.
And since becoming a mother so many more things anger me about the world...I hope my kids don't have to be surrounded by half of what seems to be happening today...wishful thinking, right?
I am pretty sure I temper myself as well. I don't LIKE being mean. it doesn't feel good most of the time, but I DO have the urges.
I was speaking very broadly, and not about myself...but about society in general as a whole.
I think it IS sad. but I also think it's pretty natural, and as "enlightened" as we'd like to think we are....the reality is we are still humans. animals. and regression is far too easy and seductive for some to not give in.
I hope my child is a nice and kind one.
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| Posted 4/9/08 12:59 PM |
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ArmyOfBabies
Growing older but not up
Member since 7/07 4427 total posts
Name:
Jeri
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Re: Meanness....
I feel the same way. I had my problems with other people when I was a teenager, but there was never a time when I would think to have 9 people beating up on one person and tape it. I think it's the generation of teenagers right now. I find that they are meaner and more destructive than when I was a teenager.
I agree about teaching my kids about respecting people and accepting people and how to handle it if someone has a problem with them.
I think all us moms on LIF should start a revolution. From what I've read in posts on Parenting, we all have pretty similar views on raising our kids. Lets raise a generation of well behaved, respectful, accepting kids so this won't happen when our babies are teenagers.
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| Posted 4/9/08 1:05 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Meanness....
I think all us moms on LIF should start a revolution. From what I've read in posts on Parenting, we all have pretty similar views on raising our kids. Lets raise a generation of well behaved, respectful, accepting kids so this won't happen when our babies are teenagers.
I agree, there has been a generation of kids, at least I have seen, that has zero respect for anyone, let alone their parents or adults. There's this sense of entitlement these days which I never saw as much......
I'm reading a great book called It Takes a Parent which addresses this very issue of taking back our children and teaching them boundaries and righteousness....something severly lacking these days....
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| Posted 4/9/08 1:13 PM |
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igottabeme
Its peanut butter jelly time!
Member since 1/08 2340 total posts
Name:
Wouldnt you like to know! ;)
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Re: Meanness....
i dont have anger issues or anything but i do find myself having mean thoughts. like when i see a girl wearing a terrible outfit my first thought is "she needs a makeover!". i try soooo hard not to be like this and be judgemental but sometimes its hard.
i think the media plays a big part in society's aggression. we bash celebrities on a daily basis and the war, hate, etc is in our faces alot more now than when we were kids. we're exposed to far more than we are used to and our kids will grow up thinking that this kind of behavior is okay or "cool". however, with proper parenting i think alot of it can be avoided.
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| Posted 4/9/08 1:15 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Meanness....
Posted by igottabeme
i dont have anger issues or anything but i do find myself having mean thoughts. like when i see a girl wearing a terrible outfit my first thought is "she needs a makeover!". i try soooo hard not to be like this and be judgemental but sometimes its hard.
i think the media plays a big part in society's aggression. we bash celebrities on a daily basis and the war, hate, etc is in our faces alot more now than when we were kids. we're exposed to far more than we are used to and our kids will grow up thinking that this kind of behavior is okay or "cool". however, with proper parenting i think alot of it can be avoided.
You are definitely not mean!!!
I think the same things you do, and while it does have a tinge of meanness, it's not totally harmful, unless you approach someone and say "hey, you need Stacy London STAT!"
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| Posted 4/9/08 1:20 PM |
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igottabeme
Its peanut butter jelly time!
Member since 1/08 2340 total posts
Name:
Wouldnt you like to know! ;)
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Re: Meanness....
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by igottabeme
i dont have anger issues or anything but i do find myself having mean thoughts. like when i see a girl wearing a terrible outfit my first thought is "she needs a makeover!". i try soooo hard not to be like this and be judgemental but sometimes its hard.
i think the media plays a big part in society's aggression. we bash celebrities on a daily basis and the war, hate, etc is in our faces alot more now than when we were kids. we're exposed to far more than we are used to and our kids will grow up thinking that this kind of behavior is okay or "cool". however, with proper parenting i think alot of it can be avoided.
You are definitely not mean!!!
I think the same things you do, and while it does have a tinge of meanness, it's not totally harmful, unless you approach someone and say "hey, you need Stacy London STAT!"
 
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| Posted 4/9/08 1:36 PM |
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chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
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Re: Meanness....
I agree w/ Ophelia in that it's much easier to be mean than to be kind/nice.
I think in general we are a far more stressed out/over worked/ under paid generation and that just lends to the angst.
I also feel that in places like web forums, that a mob mentality exists. If you see people you "admire" "want to be like", and you have little to no distinguishable personality of your own, you'll follow whatever it is that they do. More times than not it's the mean/nasty/ignorant behavior that gets copied because it draws the most attention.
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| Posted 4/9/08 1:42 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Meanness....
Posted by ArmyOfBabies
I think all us moms on LIF should start a revolution. From what I've read in posts on Parenting, we all have pretty similar views on raising our kids. Lets raise a generation of well behaved, respectful, accepting kids so this won't happen when our babies are teenagers.
This would be the place to start. All these things that are happening are happening because of what goes on in the child's home. Before I was married I lived with my BFF who is a teacher. The stuff that she dealt with pertaining to children's behaviors and the way the parents dealt with it was atrocious to say the least. When I was in school what a teacher said to my parents was simply a given. These parents will question if not outright say my friend is lying about there child. I have quite a few friends who are teachers as well as parent in my day care that are and they all have the same stories about parents.
I mean come on if I have no respect for my child's teacher why would they?
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| Posted 4/9/08 1:44 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Meanness....
Posted by Stacey1403
I mean come on if I have no respect for my child's teacher why would they?
You are so right.
If I got into trouble in school, which wasn't often, and I was reprimanded, my parents would immediately side with the teacher and then ask me what I did...no questions asked.....
Today it's "not my Johnny"
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| Posted 4/9/08 1:48 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: Meanness....
Working on this has been a goal of mine for a few months now. I too had hateful thoughts, words and actions often. It got to a point where I would think of things I said & did later and be embarassed by myself.
It's also about personal responsibility and not phrasing it as "So-and-so got me so mad!" but instead "I got mad." Because it is up to the individual to respond with or without emotion and hate. You can't MAKE me mad. But I can CHOOSE to be mad over your words & actions. It's all me. And thus, I have the power to change that.
Posted by chikita315
I agree w/ Ophelia in that it's much easier to be mean than to be kind/nice.
I think in general we are a far more stressed out/over worked/ under paid generation and that just lends to the angst.
I also feel that in places like web forums, that a mob mentality exists. If you see people you "admire" "want to be like", and you have little to no distinguishable personality of your own, you'll follow whatever it is that they do. More times than not it's the mean/nasty/ignorant behavior that gets copied because it draws the most attention.
Agreed. It can feel like a sport sometimes. Following the crowd is much easier than daring to stand on your own with your own differing opinion. Or to voice that opinion. Or even harder, NOT to voice that opinion and to focus that attention elsewhere on something better.
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| Posted 4/9/08 2:33 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Meanness....
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by Ophelia
it's far easier to be mean than it is to be kind. there is no impulse control in being mean...and we naturally have certain impulses for meanness or aggression.
and as society relaxes its rules and tolerates more, we will see it more.
we are still the same people were were hundreds of years ago. we just dress it up differently.
See, for me, I don't act impulsively on meanness...I guess there are times when I'd LIKE to be really mean to someone who wronged me but I always always try not to act on it.
I try to find the good in situations...but it really can be a sad world at times..so much hatred, killing, bullying etc...it can be very disheartening until you start to concentrate on all the good.
And since becoming a mother so many more things anger me about the world...I hope my kids don't have to be surrounded by half of what seems to be happening today...wishful thinking, right?
I am pretty sure I temper myself as well. I don't LIKE being mean. it doesn't feel good most of the time, but I DO have the urges.
I was speaking very broadly, and not about myself...but about society in general as a whole.
I think it IS sad. but I also think it's pretty natural, and as "enlightened" as we'd like to think we are....the reality is we are still humans. animals. and regression is far too easy and seductive for some to not give in.
I hope my child is a nice and kind one.
I was speaking broadly too! I don't want you to think "you" meant you personally...I just meant for people in general.
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| Posted 4/9/08 7:13 PM |
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