Need some advice

DH's birthday is Saturday and I want to treat him to dinner. We haven't seen his family in a long time (months) and so I thought it would be nice to surprise him and have his family (brothers, sisters and parents) at the restaurant waiting for us.

Since I am a SAHM I don't have a lot of money. I have a side business on ebay and I made enough to treat DH but not enough to pay for his whole family. There's 10 of them.

Should I still invite them? How would I word the email invite so that they know I am not treating everyone just DH. I don't want to seem tacky or rude but I want to do something nice for DH. I know he would love this.

I would cook dinner at my house but this weekend the landlord will be fixing the bathroom and I don't want guest in the middle of that.

Any ideas?

Re: Need some advice

I THINK it DEPENDS on the family, will they totally understand about having to pay for themselves or are they all about etiquette? My family and my hubby's family would be more than happy to pay their own wa, but I can think of a few people who have familes that would find it tacky.

Re: Need some advice

I think they wouldn't mine paying for themselves. Last summer we all went to dinner for my ILs anniversary and they split my ILs order between DH and his brothers/sister and then paid separately for ourselves.

Re: Need some advice

Can you use the words "join us" or something instead of "invite"?
Maybe yuo could say "help me suggest a moderate-priced place - something inthe price range for all attendees"

HTH

Re: Need some advice

Does it have to be something expensive? Why don't you try going to a place that has a fixed menu. Then you can always take your husband out to a more expensive meal by yourselves.

Re: Need some advice

Do you personally have to pay for the meal? Couldn't the surprise be having everyone together and throw your ebay money into your joint account or what have you to offset some of the cost?

Otherwise, I would go with this suggestion...

Re: Need some advice

I would just be straight up and honest.

"hey guys...I am taking Husband out for dinner on Tuesday. we are going to Big Steak Dinner. I am sure he would love to see you there if you'd be able to swing it."

ETA: I've never expected NOT to pay for my own food when going out for someone's bday...do you have a reason to believe they'd expect you to pay?

Message edited 3/26/2008 1:29:59 PM.

Re: Need some advice

Would you be comfortable just coming out and being honest? Say something like, "I know Dh would be really happy and surprised if you could meet us out for dinner for his bday. I would love to treat everyone, but I just can't swing it, so would you all mind splitting the bill?"

Re: Need some advice

I think its really nice of you to invite his family to his birthday get-together....

however ..
I dont think there is really any way you can invite them out
-unless you outright TELL them that they have to pay their own way...
if you dont have the $$.

I would just invite everyone over the house for dinner or cake or both-

Either ask the landlord to fix your bathroom on sunday, or celebrate after the bathroom is fixed.

I wouldnt want to go out to dinner unless it was completely understood that everyone is paying their own way...and that could be awkward.

Re: Need some advice

Re: Need some advice

Thanks everyone.

I just sent them the email. I told them honestly that while I would love to treat them all, I can't and asked for them to join us if they can swing it. I also asked that they send me any restaurant suggestions that fit everyone's budget. I'm sure they will understand, they are pretty laid back.

Thanks again ladies.

Re: Need some advice

Posted by BellaRock

Thanks everyone.

I just sent them the email. I told them honestly that while I would love to treat them all, I can't and asked for them to join us if they can swing it. I also asked that they send me any restaurant suggestions that fit everyone's budget. I'm sure they will understand, they are pretty laid back.

Thanks again ladies.

Re: Need some advice

Message edited 3/26/2008 1:44:47 PM.

Re: Need some advice

Posted by BellaRock

Posted by Ophelia


do you have a reason to believe they'd expect you to pay?

Actually no, I guess I was just worried it would be assumed that I was paying and I would be azz'd out when the bill came along.

I never expect not to pay when I am out either (well if I'm out with DH then I know I'm not paying ) but I wasn't sure if that is the norm or just the way I think. If that makes any sense at all lol.