What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

My friend has asked me to be godmother to her child due next month....

While I am totally honored, I am also not sure if I can handle it due to my "situation" (IF). She is absolutely cool about it, and understands my dilemma, but has asked that I think about it a bit before I give her my decision....

Now, being Jewish, I have no idea what this really entails...Is it just an honorary title, or are there real responsibilities that come with this?

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

you are the spiritual and moral measuring stick.

you are responsible for that child's soul.

good luck with that.

all kidding aside, traditionally you would retain custody of the child if both parents died before the child reached legal age.

nowadays, it's more like a second set of parents to watch out, be closely involved, make sure the go to church and raise up good catholics (or other religion that has them)

eta: I just noticed you said you are jewish. I don't think you have to be familiar necessarily with the tenants of the child's faith to help raise them to love God, respect their families, go to their religious services etc. they asked you b/c they think you'll be a good role model for their child.

even though it's technically more honorary now, it still means they want you to have a greater influence in the child's life.

congratulations!

eta: I cannot answer in regard to your IF issues...but if you do decide to do this, you will be an incredibly special person in this child life. good luck with your decision.

Message edited 3/15/2008 10:26:13 AM.

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

First of all, I didn't know there were jewish godmothers - I'm serious about that

Secondly, for you, I think it will be a really difficult day, but try to remember that you have the honor of being the second most important woman in this childs life.

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

Posted by Red

First of all, I didn't know there were jewish godmothers - I'm serious about that

Secondly, for you, I think it will be a really difficult day, but try to remember that you have the honor of being the second most important woman in this childs life.

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

As a godmother, from a religious perspective, you are responsible for the moral and religious upbringin of the child in the faith should anything happen to their parents.

you may want to ask your friend what she expects from you... some actually become guardians of the children should anything happen to the parents and there is no family.

I can't speak for other Christian churches, but if your friend is a Roman Catholic, as a Jewish person, you cannot be godmother to the child. In the Catholic Church, you must be a baptized Catholic, preferably with all your Sacraments, but baptism at the very least, to be a godmother. The parents may not care, but the Church takes this pretty seriously.... they view a godparent as the one that takes responsibility for the religious upbrining of the child.

i know that times have changed and many people just pick their close friends or siblings regardless of their faith or lack thereof, but most Catholic churches don't bend on this one and ususally ask to see a certificate of baptism for the godparent.

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

Posted by Eireann


This is not true in all Catholic churches. My neice's godfather is Jewish--MichelleR, you know what I'm talking about! Also, many churches don't even require you to show "proof" of your sacraments. I think usually only one godparent must be Catholic.

Anyway, I am godmother to 2 children and I wouldn't say I treat them any differently/do anything extra for them than I do my other nephews and neices. I do not recall my own godparents being involved religiously in my life at all--in fact, they didn't even attend church! For me, it's simply a very special honor.

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

as far as being jewish i think it depends on the church, my godfather was jewish, also when dh and i became godparents no one asked to see documentation that we were catholic,
nowadays it really is an honary title and they want you to have a close relationship with this child, they obviously think very highly of you
if you are not sure of your responsibilities i would ask them what they expect i am sure they would understand that since you are jewish you are not really sure what it entails
good luck with whatever you decide

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

I think it really depends on the childs parents... i am a godmother( never been baptised) i think it is an honorary title for me since i am not very religious but i plan on being with him through all his big decisions and events and that is what i hold as my responsibilities as his godmother

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

My dh's cousin and his wife are the godparents to my son. He is catholic and she is jewish. My church didn't care that she was Jewish, as long as the godfather was catholic. They didn't write her name on his certificate (I did... ).

I picked people that we were extremely close to and someone who will always be around/be a good role model for our son.

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

Godparents are no longer the persons responsible for the child if the parents pass away prematurely. Unless it is specifically mentioned in a will, custody will be retained by the nearest living relative.

It is - more or less - an honorary title. It is up to the godparent to make that title more or less by virtue of their involvement in the lives of their children.

When I had my sons baptized I was told that we must choose at least one Catholic godparent - preferably both. Godparents are - in theory - responsible for the religious development of their godchildren. Making sure they go to church, sunday school, getting communed, etc.. it would be difficult for a Godparent to bring a child up 'in the faith' if they didn't know the rules of engagement!

But - I was never asked to provide documentation to prove that any of my chosen ones were Catholic.

Good luck!

Message edited 3/15/2008 11:47:18 AM.

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

Just .

It is a tremendous honor, and one I believe you deserve. My Godmother who was present at my baptism was my Mom's friend who I now do not know. But when I was very young another of my Mom's friends was somehow appointed my "honorary Godmother" and I just adore her. She has been there for me for every event in my life. A few years ago, going through my own issues, I learned that she also was unable to have a child. Looking back I think it was because of that, that she was even more dedicated to her role. Even now with Ryan, she never forgets a holiday. He gets cards for everything, and while it means a lot to him, it means even more to me.

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

Thanks everyone!

I'm not worried about the day, I'll get through that...I'm worried if I can pull through it long term

I really have to think about it...

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

I'd say its more honorary than anything, especially since she asked you, and you're not Catholic.

Ella's godmother, my sister, has no real "responsibilities". Though she does seem to think its her responsibility to spoil E

Re: What are the responsibilities of being a godmother?

Technically, you do have to be Catholic to be a godparent in the Catholic church. If you are not Catholic, you can stand up as a "witness" as long as the parents have another person who is Catholic as a godparent (Can you tell I jsut read my informational booklet for my son's upcoming baptism? ) Like most things in the Catholic Church, how much verification or documentation they want varies from parish to parish. My son will be Christened in a few weeks and I haven't been asked for anything about the godparents besides their names. When I was a godparent in a different parish, I had to get a letter from my pastor stating that I was a practicing Catholic.

The responsibility is that you are helping the parents take responsibility for the religious formation of the child. What the parents actually expect you to do varies from family to family. I am not overly involved in my godson's religious upbringing now, but if something happened to my sister, I probably would be more involved since his dad is not Catholic and I am the only godparent (he also had a non-Catholic witness as a "godfather") My godson also doesn't have grandparents, so I try to be involved in his life in ways my parents would have been if they were here - going to school functions when possible and having him stay over at my house occasionally. I would ask your friend what she expects from you to get an idea of how involved she would like you to be.

Message edited 3/15/2008 9:27:31 PM.