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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis

Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
Name: L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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I laughed and laughed...
This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best web mail-award-winning letter.
Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing? As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of crampinQ"'so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.' Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness-actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'!
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh*t. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. ..Best,Wendi Aarons Austin,TX ..
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Posted 3/13/08 2:04 PM |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)

Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name: remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
OMFG!!!!!!
I pray for the removal of my uterus every month!
I even get MAD at my dh for not knocking up yet so I still have to keep it
I love this woman and this letter!
"have a happy period" seriously dude. UGH
that's why I use tampons!
Message edited 3/13/2008 2:09:11 PM.
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Posted 3/13/08 2:08 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name: LB
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
OMG i love this woman... best letter ever!!!
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Posted 3/13/08 2:18 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
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Posted 3/13/08 2:42 PM |
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mycrayon1
LIF Toddler

Member since 10/07 438 total posts
Name: Carolyn
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
Posted by Ophelia
OMFG!!!!!!
I pray for the removal of my uterus every month!
I love this woman and this letter!
"have a happy period" seriously dude. UGH
that's why I use tampons!
ITA!!!!
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Posted 3/13/08 2:45 PM |
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NASP09
...

Member since 6/05 6030 total posts
Name:
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Re:
Message edited 3/29/2010 7:25:14 PM.
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Posted 3/13/08 5:37 PM |
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DirtyBlonde
*****
Member since 11/07 7344 total posts
Name:
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
Brilliant!!!
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Posted 3/13/08 7:21 PM |
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luvsbob4603
To a healthy 2013

Member since 5/05 21840 total posts
Name: To a brand new year to a healthier me
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
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Posted 3/13/08 7:57 PM |
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Gatsbygirl
Please St. Therese....

Member since 10/07 8494 total posts
Name:
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
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Posted 3/13/08 7:59 PM |
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CCMommy
EVERYTHING CHANGES

Member since 12/07 2528 total posts
Name: CC's Mommy
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
I just called my mom and read it to her..
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Posted 3/13/08 8:06 PM |
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igottabeme
Its peanut butter jelly time!

Member since 1/08 2340 total posts
Name: Wouldnt you like to know! ;)
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
bravo!!!!
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Posted 3/13/08 8:30 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name: :)
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
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Posted 3/13/08 9:26 PM |
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put
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Posted 3/13/08 9:29 PM |
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BunnyBaby
Loving Motherhood!!!

Member since 11/07 1238 total posts
Name: Audrina
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
I think this is hystercal!!!!!!!!!
I posted this earlier this week & I got flamed because apparently this was an e-mail sendd arounnd 4 years ago or something like that.
It was the 1st time I saw it & I laughed hysterical when I read it!
Isn't it great?
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Posted 3/14/08 8:46 AM |
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newpaulsbaby
LIF Infant

Member since 1/06 112 total posts
Name: Darlene
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
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Posted 3/14/08 8:54 AM |
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lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
Does it actually say that?
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Posted 3/14/08 10:04 AM |
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Kellish
LIF Adult

Member since 10/07 2713 total posts
Name: LOVE THE LIFE
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
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Posted 3/14/08 12:14 PM |
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Kellish
LIF Adult

Member since 10/07 2713 total posts
Name: LOVE THE LIFE
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Re: I laughed and laughed...
Posted by dita
Does it actually say that?
yes
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Posted 3/14/08 12:14 PM |
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